Paul Wilson: The Weak in Review; Snake Love, Dead in Bed & Foot Fetishes

0ce51210c73ec09bdfdc9e547e11ea1585aacefecb75169b1aae56e272eb6cc9ANAL EEL ANTICS

We’re pretty much all familiar with run of the mill sexual fetishes, but here’s one that takes the cake…

Seems an unidentified man got a South American Lungfish stuck inside his anus after seeing it done on a porn video. I mean, why not? The gerbil thing is so 1990’s.

At least we can positively say this is one thing that has never happened in Craig’s bedroom, where the magic truly happens…

There was only one problem with said dude’s plan. Once all 20 inches of love got all up in his business, it kind of liked it there. Next MR. EEL decided to take a trip up the Hershey Highway, got hungry and ate through the mans colon, large intestine, finding its way into his body cavity.

The operating room was filled with “observers” (who can be heard laughing and gasping) as the fish or snake or whatever it is was finally pulled from the patient’s intestines. The eel was still alive at the time it was removed but died shortly after its removal.

WARNING: Video more GRAPHIC than what Chuck posts.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/eel-removed-from-bowels_n_6076118.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news Continue reading

Posted in Paul Wilson | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Hearne: KC Opera Singer Slips, Wins Bet & Chevy Dealer Jinxes Royals

Screen Shot 2014-10-31 at 11.02.23 AMKansas City’s biggest non baseball World Series slip-up?

Call it a tie, between opera singer Joyce DiDonato – who warbled out the National Anthem opera style before Game 7 – and Molle Chevrolet in Blue Springs – that laid a pre Game One jinx on the Royals that depending on how superstitious you are may have cost the team the title.

In the case of Molle, the company purchased a full page ad in the World Series section of the Kansas City Star declaring in bold letters on a Royals blue backdrop, “If Kansas City Wins Tonight, We Will Pay Your Sales Tax Tomorrow!*”

Of course the Royals were slaughtered 7-1.

As for that asterisk at the end of Molle’s offer, apparently  the car dealer was hedging its bet in case the Kansas City Roller Warriors or some other lesser local team slipped in a win that night.

“Kansas City – meaning our Major League baseball team,” reads Molle’s caveat. Continue reading

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Sutherland: The Long (Greg Orman) Con Versus The Short (Paul Davis) Con

Paul Davis He's not Sam Brownback

Paul Davis
He’s not Sam Brownback

The best movies are those which help us make sense of the often incomprehensible situations in which we find ourselves in our daily lives…

One such move was 1990’s “The Grifters,” starring John Cusack, Annette Benning and Angelica Houston.  The three principal characters are all con-artists, working their scams around various race tracks.  Much of the film is devoted to their arguing among themselves who is best at the “long-con,” an elaborate scheme involving many steps and which is aimed at taking all the victims’ money, ideally without them realizing they’ve been scammed.

By contrast, the “short-con” is a one shot deal, meant to relieve the mark of the cash he or she has on them and which so lacks subtlety that they almost immediately know what’s happened.  Because the results are paltry and because the trickery or deception is low grade and not particularly clever, the true con-artist rarely stoops to the “short-con.”

Paul Davis, the Democratic candidate for governor of Kansas, is definitely a “short-con” kind of guy.  Continue reading

Posted in Dwight D. Sutherland, Jr. | 9 Comments

Jack Goes Confidential: Jake Gyllenhaal Unhinged In ‘Nightcrawler’

hr_Nightcrawler_2Welcome to major market television news where If It Bleeds It Leads…

Especially during Sweep Weeks!

But how do you GET all the graphic footage? And more importantly GET IT FIRST!

That’s where ambitious Lou Bloom comes into the picture. He’s smart. He’s smooth. He’s also a ruthless thief and scavenger—which leads him into the seedy the world of TV videographers.

They’re called NIGHTCRAWLERS—freelance stringers equipped with police scanners in their cars who try to reach nighttime crime, fire and crash scenes sometimes before even law enforcement does.

Then they sell their oftentimes gory footage to the highest paying TV news bidder. The rougher the video, the higher the windfall for BOTH the station’s ratings and the stringers pocketbooks.

Problem is, competition for the sexiest shots can blur the lines between being an observer…and becoming a participant. Continue reading

Posted in Jack Poessiger | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Paul Wilson: Life Lessons from the World Series

travel_field_of_dreams_800As a sports agnostic, I’ve watched the recent Royals run out of civic pride…

Equally odd, Field of Dreams – one of my favorite movies – is a baseball movie that has nothing to do with baseball.

It’s about life, loss and redemption.

Former New York Yankees manager Casey Stengel said, “Most ball games are lost, not won” – same as in life. Whether from innate insecurity, negative self talk that tells us we can’t do it, or simply a lack of effort, we can be assured doing nothing will accomplish nothing. With that in mind, I had some thoughts on the World Series and how it relates to daily life.

Don’t blame your outcomes on that one bad call that cost you the game.

Bad calls can be job loss, divorce or financial loss, but you have to move forward, regardless. St. Louis lives in a pity party to this day over a bad call at first base in the 9th inning of game 6 in the ‘85 World Series.

Live life in a way that one bad call doesn’t matter. Continue reading

Posted in Paul Wilson | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Jack Goes Confidential: Michael Keaton Mesmerizes in BIRDMAN

filming-scenes-for-movie-birdman-10Two great performances are opening here this weekend!

The first is Jake Gyllenhaal as NIGHTCRAWLER.

The other—and this one a sure bet in the upcoming Oscar nominations for Best Actor – is Michael Keaton as BIRDMAN.

In this dark comedy, satire-fantasy, Keaton stars as a washed-up movie star who once led a major Hollywood super hero franchise. But those days are long gone.

Has he given up? Not yet—not quite. Instead Keaton sets out to make a comeback on Broadway where he now desperately tries to be taken seriously—all while undergoing a major midlife meltdown.

So far, so good.

The play is in final rehearsals for its preview engagements when Keaton’s co-star is suddenly knocked out by a falling object from the rafters.

Now what? Continue reading

Posted in Jack Poessiger | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Glazer: A Wild Ride That Made Us All Proud

0-070415-01Yes, it was a heartbreaker…

It was also a game the Kansas City Royals could have won except for the fact that they ran into the man – World Series MVP Madison Bumgarner.

We just could not hit the guy – he was something else. Had Bumgarner not been a Giant the Royals would have won the series, no question. Our pitching was overall much better than theirs, save the BUM. The two team’s hitting was at least equal and our D was a bit better.

The teams were even except for THAT GUY! 

Look, it was a terrific ride, a one month run nobody expected here or anywhere else. The Royals had America’s eye for four weeks and that may not happen again in our lifetimes. Continue reading

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

Hearne: Four Thumbs Up for Spirit Airlines

r-CHEERLEADING-large570-1Allow me to stick it to Man Jack for just a minute….

You know, KCC’s resident movie, travel and sex-for-hire expert.

That’s because I had the pleasure of flying Spirit Airlines to Chicago last week and in spite of the gentle German’s warnings about how I would be nickel and dimed, then fleeced by Spirit, nothing could be further from the truth.

It was a last minute flight to see Italian pop singer Laura Pausini at the Chicago Theatre - an amazing show, albeit fairly tame by comparison to the alt rock acts I usually see live.

Then a last minute snafu nearly forced me to buy one way tickets on Southwest in order to leave at a later time that would have set me back $250 per ticket. One way fares from KCI to O’Hare in Chicago on Spirit is only $62.

Now allow me to quote the Jackster: Continue reading

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Paul Wilson: Pope 1, Fundamental Literalist Christians Zip

pope-francis-vaticanPope Francis made a big bang in the news this week by conceding that evolution most certainly did happen, but at God’s impetus…

The Pope told the Vatican’s Pontifical Academy for Sciences that the “Big Bang” – which today we hold to be the origin of the universe – doesn’t contradict the intervention of the divine creator.

“Evolution in nature is not inconsistent with the notion of creation, because evolution requires the creation of beings that evolve,” Francis says.

Genesis paints God as a wizard with a magic wand, “But it is not so,” Francis says. “He created life and let each creature develop according to the natural laws which he had given each one.”

Disclaimer: Your well-coiffed scribe was raised a far right wing, fundamental, Biblical literalist. Eventually I found a 12 Step program and – thank God – I ‘m healed from all that today. Continue reading

Posted in Hearne_Christopher, Paul Wilson | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

Glazer: There’s Well Deserved Magic In The Air

Screen Shot 2014-10-29 at 11.55.36 AMWorld Series Game Seven here we come…

This is the game we all pretended we pitched in or batted in as kids. The game dreams are made of. And now, here we are again for only the second time in our city’s history. KC’s 1980 World Series ended in game six. But now we stand on the threshold of greatness one more time.

Just to be here is an honor.

This game is for US – more so than for these players who will make millions and leave our fair city in a few years only to return for old timers games.

And we earned it, because only after decades of waiting, dreaming, hoping and wishing did it finally came true.

Via a most unlikely team and strange timing. Continue reading

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Hearne: Frisco Follies Unfold Following ‘Royal Stomping’

Screen Shot 2014-10-29 at 12.17.20 AMI’ll let you in on a little secret…

San Franciscans hate people referring to their town as Frisco.

“Nicknames are supposed to embody some overall characteristic, not just act as a lazy surgery of the city’s name,” according to an online SF-based magazine. “There’s a reason we don’t call New York “Nork” when
we’re feeling saucy.”

They also hate losing.

And for the fun of it, let’s take a gander at how the San Francisco Chronicle treated last night’s loss to the Kansas City Royals.

Starting with a weak-wristed bust of Dick’s Sporting Goods… Continue reading

Posted in Hearne_Christopher, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Hearne: ‘Us’ versus ‘Them’ in World Series Showdown

3301-194FrThink Midwestern values versus West Coast feng shui

The simple life versus a contrived one – the upper crust versus the help – it’s all on the line tonight when the Kansas City Royals clash with the San Francisco Giants in Game 6 of the World Series.

It’s hard not to flash back to Joe Montana’s time here – especially when there he is, singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in San Fran while KC goes down in flames. Montana couldn’t get out of Dodge (aka Kansas City) fast enough and return to the City by the Bay once his time with the Chiefs was up.

And who can forget fellow former 49ers QB-turned-Chief  Steve Bono‘s claim that “the worst restaurant in San Francisco is better than the best restaurant in Kansas City.”

Face it boys and girls, compared to the Golden Gate set we suck.

It’s really pretty simple: Kansas City is flyover, San Francisco is fly to.

So tonight – and with a little luck on Wednesday – it’s our chance to stick it to our betters. Continue reading

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Calvin Sense: Checking Out Author, Neurosurgeon, Presidential Hopeful Dr. Ben Carson

Screen Shot 2014-10-28 at 10.21.01 AMRun Ben Run...

On October 14, 2014 Dr. Ben Carson spoke at a Women’s Clinic of Kansas City fundraiser and the Overland Park Convention Center was filled with interested voters.

The hors d’oeurvres were delicious, the evening exciting and informative.  If you’ve not yet heard Dr. Carson speak or are unfamiliar with his position on the issues I strongly advise you to check him out at www.RunBenRun.org.

The extreme political left’s take on Dr. Carson is over the top as usual.  However, the extremists on the political right do the same thing to candidates that they don’t like, so all is fair in love and war, I guess.

Dr. Carson’s positions on the issues below also reflect the Common Sense (or Calvin Sense) views I hold on these same issues. Continue reading

Posted in Calvin Sense | Tagged , | 23 Comments

Starbeams: Botched Anthem, Rob Lowe, Steve Perry & Kristen Stewart

Aaron Lewis botches anthem @ Game 5 of Series

Aaron Lewis botches anthem @ Game 5 of Series

Hey Aaron Lewis!  I’m watching a movie on Netflix and it’s so gallantly streaming!

                  *******

The Earth’s magnetic field may flip in the next 50 years.  Scientists say it should coincide with the next Royals playoff run.

                   *******

If we could get Rob Lowe to do ads for Viagra we could cut Royals commercial breaks in half.

               ******* Continue reading

Posted in Starbeams | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Donnelly: Sporting KC Take Tired, Depleted Squad to NY Thursday to Play for Postseason Lives

Unless Sporting Kansas City can drastically improve its terrible form of late, it looks likely that this year’s post-season run will begin and end Thursday at the New York Red Bulls in a one-and-done playoff match.

Yep, KC is matched up against the same team that manhandled the boys in blue 2-0 just last night at Sporting Park in their regular season finale.

And it could have been a lot worse.

Sporting barely mustered a legit chance all game, and recorded but a single shot on goal. Meanwhile, New York – without Thierry Henry, mind you – ran roughshod through the center of the pitch, attacking KC’s back line over and over. Continue reading

Posted in Matthew_Donnelly | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Glazer: Is There Any Magic Left for Kansas City’s Royals?

457684142Does Cinderella have enough time to win two more games before the clock strikes us out?

Is there enough fairy dust left? The Kansas City Royals will find out over the next couple nights.

We knew all along that our hitting was weak at best.This team was built on defense,speed and pitching. However you need to score some runs. I felt, as we all probably did, that game 4 was ours. The Royals had (for them) a big lead at 4 to 1.

And the team was all smiles, but it was early.

To early to go to Herrera, Davis & Holland. Then the bottom fell out.

Our other pitchers got lit up and the Royals couldn’t get any more hits or runs. It was a crushing defeat. And last night was even worse against the monster pitcher from San Francisco, the new Sandy Koufax. He shut us down and out, 5-0. Now the boys in blue have to win two at home. Continue reading

Posted in Craig_Glazer | 14 Comments

Hearne: Facing Up to the Bitter Realities of Royals Baseball

mlb_g_royals_mb_400x600In the end, didn’t we all know better?

Coming back after a Rip Van Winkle coma is no small thing, and even people like me who had moved on with their lives leaving Major League Baseball in the distant rearview mirror were charmed by this year’s Kansas City Royals.

As well we should have been.

Still deep down – let’s admit it – we knew the Scribe was right when he pronounced the  Royals season over after they blew the season ending series at home against Detroit and had to scrap for a wild card berth in the playoffs.

It didn’t take a fanatic follower and worshipper of all things baseball to recognize that the Royals record was merely an improvement over the last year’s, not a coming of age baseball nova.

Then just like that our little flyover world was turned upside down.

Out of the blue, the Royals began overcoming insurmountable odds and winning games that left us collectively stunned, overjoyed, even teary – yes teary – and not just resident Royals guru Brandon Leftridge. Continue reading

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Hearne: World Series Grab Bag – Everything You Need to Know & More

ALCS - Baltimore Orioles v Kansas City Royals - Game FourMaybe you’ve got hours to kill running down anything and everything Royals...

I’m betting though that you don’t – even if you have World Series fever – and who doesn’t these days? – you’ve still got a life, right?

Example: I totally would’ve have watched  Game 2 Wednesday, but was in transit to Chicago and lucky to catch the key parts of the 6th inning in the bar at Joe’s Seafood, Prime Steak & Stone Crab moments before I was whisked to my table.

                                                                  *******

   Did the Wall Street Journal Really Call Ned Yost a ‘Dunce’

Of course not.

While I’ve been fairly observant, I confess that I missed the Wall Street Journal’s tongue-in-cheek headline diss of Royals manager Ned Yost – the one that seemingly referring to him as “a dunce.”

However, this is one of many examples of people pulling things out of context to try and make a point – or make something sound sexy -which often as not, is not that simple in the game of journalism.

Because nowhere in WSJ writer Brian Costa‘s story comparing Yost and Orioles skipper Buck Showalter did Costa come close to calling Yost a dunce. Overall the piece was actually pretty flattering.

But dunce? No way! Continue reading

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Glazer: Delirious Scribe Hospitalized With Terminal Case of Royals Fever

Brandon Finnegan

Brandon Finnegan

How Royals like of them….

Last night’s Kansas City Royals win over San Francisco had it all; light-but-just-enough hitting, the best defense in baseball and stellar pitching.

Manager Ned Yost proved – for the time being anyway – that he ain’t no dummy by moving Lorenzo Cain to right field and putting speedster Jarrod Dyson in center to filed one of the all-time best defensive outfields in World Series history.

You saw the results, you just can’t drop one in on these guys – Cain made two circus catches to save the game and was just outstanding along with Alex Gordon.

Gordon and Eric Hosmer both got back to back hits to give KC what proved to be the winning margin. Gordon was on an 0-17 slid beforehand. Great timing.

Jeremy Guthrie pitched as well as could have been hoped and our new kid from the College World Series Brandon Finnegan was on fire again. As was KC’s star bullpen always is.

The Royals are showing the world of baseball a new brand of play. Continue reading

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Leftridge: In Case You Missed It, a Brief World Series Recap

World Series - San Francisco Giants v Kansas City Royals - Game TwoThe World Series featuring the Kansas City Royals and the San Francisco Giants is now 2-1 in favor of the Kansas City squad, and in case you haven’t been paying attention, here is what has happened so far.

Game One: SF starter Madison Bumgarner was really, really good. Like, probably even better than good, if there’s even a word for that kind of thing. He’s quickly making a case to be called one of the most dominant postseason pitchers ever, actually. Royals ace James Shields was not very good, though. In fact, he’s the opposite of Bumgarner when it comes to the postseason. (Insert your own “Big Game” jokes here, despite the fact the nickname doesn’t really have anything to do with his acumen in big games.)

The Royals’ offense was meager, as the Royals’ offense is apt to be from time to time.

A man wore honest-to-god moose antlers in the crowd, surely drawing the ire of those around him and probably garnered him death threats from animal rights activists.

Also in ire news, a man wearing a bright orange Miami Marlins pullover sat in the best seat in the stadium. Continue reading

Posted in Brandon Leftridge | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments