Never underestimate the ability of local television to cover trivial news….
You know the drill.
A dude proposes to his girlfriend at the big game – or maybe at a drunken tailgate wilding – presto!- breaking news.
It doesn’t even have to be particularly heartwarming, just short and sweet enough for TV talking heads to get it on and off the air in 30 seconds or so, then smile and say something like, “Awwwww.”
The latest:
Local man inherits a limited edition Chiefs bottle of McCormick’s whiskey commemorating the 1974 Chiefs Super Bowl win.
McCormick’s is a distillery in nearby Weston, Missouri that – to me anyway – is best known for their cute little jugs of nasty tasting corn liquor.
Anyhoo as the story goes, said dude got the bottle right before his now-deceased father-in-law passed away, and told Fox 4 he was gonna open and consume it at Ameristar casino’s sports bar if the Chiefs beat the 49ers.
What TV newsie could pass up that story?
Just one problem…
McCormick’s isn’t exactly known for being in the league of say, Jack Daniel’s or Maker’s Mark.
Far from it.
On top of which, even the finest whiskey goes south after 50 years.
“Unlike wine, whisky does not mature in the bottle,” says the Scotch Whiskey Association. “So even if you keep a 12 year old bottle for 100 years, it will always remain a 12 year old whiskey.”
There’s more…
“Once the bottle is opened, the whiskey can change again, but not for the better – contact with air can allow flavor compounds to oxidize, which usually results in a bitter or less potent taste,” adds a second source.
Online whiskey expert Connor Toole explains it further in, “Does Whiskey Age in the Bottle?”
“You’re really doing yourself a disservice if you hold onto one longer than you need to, so if you’re looking for an excuse to have a dram or two, you just found one…once you pop the bottle open, the whiskey will begin to oxidize, resulting in a less desirable flavor.”
WORSE YET, Six years back, WhiskeyNoobie posed the following question:
“So I’ve just recently wanted to try whiskey, and having heard that it’s just not for everyone, I got a fairly cheap bottle – so cheap that I broke my normal alcohol rule of not drinking anything in plastic. The stuff I got was called McCormick Special Reserve American Blended Whiskey. To put it simply, it’s just disgusting, the initial taste is fine but the aftertaste is like rubbing alcohol. So I’m wondering, is that just a bad whiskey or am I just not a whiskey person?”
The answers he got were anything but flattering.
“I have never tried McCormick Special Reserve American Blended Whiskey, and based on your description I probably never will — no, whiskey does not generally have a ‘rubbing alcohol’ aftertaste, and not liking this does not mean you are ‘not a whiskey person,” Prince_Jellyfish responded.
“McCormicks is a shit brand,” chimed in twotonesskapunk. “Their vodka smells like hand sanitizer. Their whiskey is a sure fire way to turn someone from whiskey. If you wanted good whiskey, that was a bad way to start.”
After a 30 year lapse, McCormick resumed making bourbon whiskey about five years ago and plans to come out with a Super Bowl 54 collector’s edition…
I suggest you drink it up fairly fast – maybe after next year’s Super Bowl – win or lose. Then collect the empty bottle. Or maybe just collect it intact and skip the part about drinking it a few decades down the road.
Okay…, whatever…, I’ll try some.
🙂