Hearne: Local Newspaper Struts Poor Sense of Humor

Talk about lame…

Instead of stepping up and participating or responding in kind, the Kansas City Star meekly reprinted Scott Ostler‘s tongue-in-cheek column in the San Francisco Chronicle poking fun at the Cowtown with a weak-wristed intro.

Now that truly is lame.

Get in the game guys – it’s time to play ball.

Not to curl up in a fetal position and meekly half apologize to what’s left of your readership with an unimaginative, lame headline: “San Francisco writer trashes Kansas City”

That headline doesn’t come close to describing Ostler’s hilarious depiction of Kansas Citians spending their days panning for gold by mixing ketchup and sugar, smoking and eating animals, then washing off their hands clean of it all in the city’s picturesque fountains.

That’s not trashing KC, that’s a USDA choice, funny-as-hell, good natured roast.

The fact that the Star didn’t a) participate in the fun or B) have anybody on board clever enough return fire in kind or c) felt it needed to garnish the reprint of Ostler’s column with  an inaccurate, “safe” headline, then warn readers it was written with a “Northern California sense of humor” and that they needed to bear that in mind while reading it.

Why? So they won’t blow a complete fuse and throw their television sets through the living room window once they realized the level of disrespect people in San Franciso have for we-the-people in flyover land?

Get real.

Note to Star editors:

Lighten up, it’s funny. Set aside your fears of going bankrupt later this year; set aside your hatred of all things Republican and Donald Trump; take a few deep breaths. It’s okay.

Ostler’s column was not a glaring example of disrespect, like when former 49ers/Chiefs quarterback Steve Bono‘s whispered that the worst restaurant in San Francisco was better than the best restaurant here.

True or not, clearly Bono “trashed” the city he was representing on the football field when he uttered those words. Even at that, mostly it was a super dumb thing for him to say, given his lesser quarterbacking skills and the fact that he was taking down a seven figure salary here.

The bottom line: the gauntlet has been thrown. Will somebody at the Star return fire in anything approaching an equally clever column? Mellinger, Adler, Hendricks?

Anybody?

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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7 Responses to Hearne: Local Newspaper Struts Poor Sense of Humor

  1. Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

    I never understood why anybody gets pissed off when “their” city is made fun of or trashed. It’s not “theirs” like their house or their kids or their mother. It is an entity. It isn’t owned by anyone. Lighten up, Francis. I live in Liberty, MO. My next door neighbor lives in Kansas City. We have different trash days. We have different mail men. We have different snow removal companies. We have different street lights. It would be kinda silly for me to bag on all things Kansas City when we literally live next door to each other in the exact same neighborhood. Why would anybody give 2 shits what somebody else thinks about “their” city. Weird.

    • Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

      Because the KC Metro area has one of the worst cases of the “Napoleon Complex” I’ve ever seen.

      Agree with Jim. Who cares?

  2. Kerouac says:

    EF Hutton moments, KC: when your starting QB talks (fine dining man Bono, ketchup and cereal kid Mahomes), people listen – and buy it, double entendre.
    _______

    “the worst restaurant in San Francisco was better than the best restaurant here”

    – still is; far as olfactory ambience however, the street where you choose to eat remains a matter pungent preference (zesty stockyard vs spicy humanity)…

    “Bono “trashed” the city he was representing on the football field when he uttered those words.”

    … bon vivant Bono’s football but not as well food, yet, KC made it habit accepting SF hand me downs, current Head Coach Reid (SF State) to four 49ers QB’s who pre-KC, called ‘The City by the Bay’ home: DeBerg – Montana – Bono, and the man who could not throw it and catch it too but trashed teammate(s) better’n you ever did see Grbac.

    Elvis has left the building (with the bounty KC paid him), ditto Joe and hi$ (cost KC’s #1 draft choice and a player), Bono (cost a draft choice) and DeBerg (cost of two draft choices and a player) – KC a glutton for punishment, retrospect. Too, SF wanted draft Steve Fuller in 1979, only to end up losing him to the Chiefs, having to settle for some guy named Joe… the rest as they, history.

    Tale of the Tape: heading into this year’s Superbowl*, all-time series SF vs KC shows 49ers lead 7-6 (also pummeled the swiss chiefs 2019 pre-season game at Arrowhead.)

    Yes, any way you add it up… advantage San Francisco (once a nice place to visit – but even with President Trump’s booming economy, you still can’t afford to live there…)

    😎

    • Arte says:

      5 former Niner Qbs. You forgot Alex Smith.

      • Kerouac says:

        Correct (Kerouac lost one of his paragraphs in cyberspace that talked about Smith as well Bob Gagliano – yet another QB who played for KC & SF – it’s a conspiracy I tells ya, a conspiracy!)

        Let us keep this on the q.t., for, the story in KC is there were no QB’s that inhabited the earth before #15 was born (in a manger, according local legend.)

        Were the truth to get out – the ‘great overhype’ Mahomes could not even beat out the journeyman Smith – ‘the game manager’ – as starting QB, the shock would be too great for Kansas Citians.

        😎

  3. I Don't Give a F says:

    I was going to say at least SF has thinner, healthier, more beautiful people than cowtown KC. While this may be true to a point the obesity catastrophe in this country is so large, so wide, that just one trip to SF will make you realize you’re basically still in Kansas forevermore.

  4. Kerouac says:

    Odds and ends (case swiss chiefs, odd but not unexpected endings…)

    CAPTION THAT PIC #1

    straight from the bovine mouth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rajXrf_Dzfw
    … Chiefs winning a Superbowl would be aMOOsing

    CAPTION THAT PIC #2

    – old things: Superbowl win, VHS tape and the eternal question: ‘is it real or Memorex’
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZyFcJcZiaU … would it make any difference at all Andy or Marty, ver. 2.0 and 1.0? Post season the deux combined 19-27 .413/0-1 SB

    😎

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