Lefsetz: Air Travel Today Sucks

If you’re following airline history, you know it’s a legendarily bad business…

The runway is littered with bankrupted airlines, Pan Am, Braniff, Eastern, TWA…the list is endless.

But now airlines are incredibly profitable, because they’ve figured out YIELD!

The bottom line: Flights fly full.

So I’m inured to the procedure.

The endless wait at security, at the gate. The reason executives (AND DEEJAYS!) fly private is TIME. They’re not making any more of it and if yours is precious the two plus hours you waste before your flight is now productive time.

Then again, the have-nots will keep telling anybody with a life that we have it good, that they were born in a field and crapped in an outhouse and the rest of us are abusing them and therefore Trumpgot elected.

There you have it folks!

The truth is my non-flight experience is everybody’s experience. Our infrastructure has gone to hell, because no one wants to pay anymore. Taxes are bad, you’re entitled to your income without deductions, and the truth is we live in a society and what affects one of us affects us all…when a butterfly flaps his wings in Japan…

So I’m on the plane. Sans upgrade.

Yup, that’s another scam, they tie you to an airline so you have status, so you don’t have to pay for baggage, so maybe you can get an upgrade. And the hoi polloi take their entire belongings with them on the plane, so there’s no luggage space, because they don’t want to pay and nobody wants to wait for their baggage, but…

I can’t travel that light. I’m willing to wait. But for how long?

The girl next to me is skinny, but she’s got B.O. Really? Isn’t this part of the social contract, that you shower before you go into public?

But that depends upon parents. That’s where we learn this stuff. And too many of today’s parents are dingbats. It’s the basics that count, table manners, cleanliness… But these are the same parents who go blast the principal when their kid is sent home with a note.

I grew up in a different era, where your parents weren’t your best friends, you were AFRAID OF THEM! 

And sure, my dad hit me with a belt and a brush and I’m probably traumatized forever but I knew if I screwed up in school I wouldn’t get into a good college and my future would be sacrificed… Life is all about delayed gratification, and I’m aiming this at you Baby Boomers, taking social security early.

Do you really want to make that bet? What if you outlive your money? Happened to some friends of mine, they had to get a reverse mortgage to get by, but at least they owned real property. As for me dying before I hit the crossover point, I’m willing to make that bet, the government can have my money. I just don’t want to be without when I need it. As for working in your late 80s… GOOD LUCK! No one wants to hire you, you’re too old, and probably too infirm to boot.

So we sat on the tarmac for three hours.Even though there was bright sunshine outside. The pilot said there was weather somewhere. But at the three hour mark you’ve got to go back to the gate where we sat for another hour before they canceled the flight.

But here’s the kicker: Since they book the flights so full, I CAN’T GET OUT UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT!

That’s right, despite flights on the hour, there are no seats.

You’d think they’d build this potential problem into the system, but NO! Capitalism rules, stockholders must get their due, screw the customers!

I’m on the phone with my travel agent – you probably don’t have one. They took away the full-serve gas stations, there’s no help anywhere in America unless you’re willing to pay for it, and most people aren’t. So there is no option, but since I paid $65 extra for my ticket I got through immediately to find out I could fly business on Jet Blue for $1499.

I didn’t want to pay that.

As for getting out on the Jet Blue 10:50…I’d need approval from American, and they wouldn’t give it.

So, the FIRST flight I can get out on is 9:30 TOMORROW NIGHT!

I’ve got to go back to Connecticut, and come back here, and I didn’t realize I was so pissed off about it until I started writing this.

No one knows what’s going on.

The pilot, who has been with American for 23 years, after 7 in the Air Force, said it was air traffic control, the system is too antiquated, it couldn’t handle the rerouting after the weather dissipated. Furthermore, there was the issue of him timing out. BLAME THE UNIONS!

No. I’d rather have an alert pilot behind the wheel.

Are you catching this?

This isn’t about my personal disappointment – I’ll live – but our whole screwed-up country, where money rules and people are irrelevant to the point where we’re no longer humans, just numbers on a spreadsheet.

But you want to be able to fly cheap.

Then again, smartphones are ruining the world.

Thank god I had my iPhone, so I could see that Jet Blue flight was delayed three hours and probably won’t get out tonight either.

But no, I’ve got to shut it down, stare into space, because some wanker parents and intellectuals think technology is bad and we must be protected. Huh? Technology is what is gonna get me to Los Angeles in the first place!

And this screed won’t make a bit of difference. Tweet the airline, think you’re special!

None of us is special, the joke is on us.

While we’re busy fighting amongst ourselves the corporations are divvying up this world and they don’t care about us, but without customers they’re HISTORY!

But you’re too busy e-mailing fake news to prove you’re right. That’s right, my inbox is filled up with people who refuse to go to Google or Snopes to see what they’re saying is false. Don’t you get it, we’re all on the same side!

The immigrants are doing jobs you don’t want to.

The addicted are scarfing opioids so Purdue Pharma can get rich.

But the problem is the TAKERS!

How many takers are there?

I’m not a taker, you’re not a taker – we fight amongst ourselves when we are the problem.

We’ve got to pay folks.

For better infrastructure, for a better society. We all can’t live behind gates, we all can’t fly private. Just because your wheel wasn’t broken in a pothole that does not mean the next person’s won’t be.

If you think you can get the attention of the CEO, if you think he’s gonna see my tweet, take my phone call, solve my problem, you’re dreaming.

I pay for AppleCare so my computers and phones are protected.

I pay for insurance so if I get sick I won’t have to pay for my ski pass. Yup, that’s another story today. Someone got cancer and wants their money back but they didn’t buy the INSURANCE! Is Vail supposed to give them their money back so the world at large can feel good?

Protect yourself. Know that we’re all brothers and sisters, in this together.

And now I just got a text that my driver can’t pick me up.

There you have it!

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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9 Responses to Lefsetz: Air Travel Today Sucks

  1. Phaedrus says:

    Our country is screwed. No politician can get elected if they say they’ll raise taxes. Meanwhile, they all make expensive promises just so they can get elected (free college for all! Free healthcare for all! And, best yet, no new taxes!)

    Even worse is all the promises made to policemen, firemen, and other public servants. With those pensions, it’s no wonder the cities & states are all going broke.

    But hey, at least we got a f!%@ing pizza company out fixing potholes for us.

  2. chuck says:

    Another excellent article from Lefty.

    “I grew up in a different era, where your parents weren’t your best friends, you were AFRAID OF THEM!

    And sure, my dad hit me with a belt and a brush and I’m probably traumatized forever but I knew if I screwed up in school I wouldn’t get into a good college and my future would be sacrificed…”

    Dead on the money Lefty, dead on the money.

    I think there is a reason for the ineptness and growing incompetence that infuses our daily lives. So does Tucker Carlson. Air Traffic Control Problems?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw1JbvgtBzE

    “But you’re too busy e-mailing fake news to prove you’re right. That’s right, my inbox is filled up with people who refuse to go to Google or Snopes to see what they’re saying is false”

    Google is the most powerful company in the history of the world. The old adage about absolute power, applies here. They are a corrupt, agenda driven, hypocritical (How’s things going in China?) manipulator of information. Fuck Google.

    I like it, that when Lefty is confronted with real life problems in a real time, “Boots on the ground” situation, he becomes a conservative. Utilitarian objectives often stand in the way of Politically Correct assumptions and until you have to stand in the mud and the beer with your fellow Americans, you can afford to preach to the unwashed from behind your gated community (George Clooney, how is that chalet in Italy selling?).

    Lefty’s realpolitik reaction is an extemporaneous shock to his system. It will be interesting to see, if it leaves a scar and changes his opinions.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      “…..but I knew if I screwed up in school I wouldn’t get into a good college and my future would be sacrificed…”
      You have to go to college to learn ditch digging…?
      (You see what I did there?)

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      “…but I knew if I screwed up in school I wouldn’t get into a good college and my future would be sacrificed…”
      You have to go to college to learn digging?
      (You see what I did there?$

  3. chuck says:

    Another excellent article from Lefty.

    “I grew up in a different era, where your parents weren’t your best friends, you were AFRAID OF THEM!

    And sure, my dad hit me with a belt and a brush and I’m probably traumatized forever but I knew if I screwed up in school I wouldn’t get into a good college and my future would be sacrificed…”

    Dead on the money Lefty, dead on the money.

    I think there is a reason for the ineptness and growing incompetence that infuses our daily lives. So does Tucker Carlson. Air Traffic Control Problems?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw1JbvgtBzE

    “But you’re too busy e-mailing fake news to prove you’re right. That’s right, my inbox is filled up with people who refuse to go to Google or Snopes to see what they’re saying is false”

    Google is the most powerful company in the history of the world. The old adage about absolute power, applies here. They are a corrupt, agenda driven, hypocritical (How’s things going in China?) manipulator of information. Fuck Google.

    I like it, that when Lefty is confronted with real life problems in a real time, “Boots on the ground” situation, he becomes a conservative. Utilitarian objectives often stand in the way of Politically Correct assumptions and until you have to stand in the mud and the beer with your fellow Americans, you can afford to preach to the unwashed from behind your gated community (George Clooney, how is that chalet in Italy selling?).

    Lefty’s realpolitik reaction is an extemporaneous shock to his system. It will be interesting to see, if it leaves a scar and changes his opinions.

    Phaedrus, our only economic hope, is to forgo Zero Sum initiatives in the hopes of trivializing out debt.

    • Rainbow Man says:

      Chuck nails one again. It used to be that flying was exciting. When I was younger I thought being able to fly places for work obviously meant I was super cool, and I loved the whole “exotic” procedure. I fly alot. Now I am 51 and I absolutely try very hard to do everything possible to do a great job while avoiding flying. The points thing is kind of a lock in sham.. Southwest used to be awesome and now they are becoming average.

      This sounds elitist, but these flights are like Greyhound buses. But you cannot take a piss because getting out of your middle seat is too much trouble and they have the seatbelt sign on half the time.

  4. Kerouac says:

    If man was meant to fly, would have wings… so he built some. Alas, ‘if you build it he will come’ became ‘build it and THEY will come’; did, first a few, then a few hundred, thousands followed become millions today.

    Blame it on Ma & Pa: had they left well enough alone, Orville or Wilbur an only child. Kite-flying in lieu transoceanic flight, sticks & stones ‘stead nuclear missile, National Football League playing US soil/grass in lieu artificial whatever, wherever (2015, the Kansas City Chief$ played one of their ‘home’ games vs the Lions… in London.)

    ‘The not so friendly skies’ and cabins of United, et al, brought to you by century 21:

    Passengers? Seats. Seats? Belts. Aisles? Cramped. Exercise? Mental masturbation. Screaming children? You bet.

    Nature calling? Take a number… and a shoehorn. Despite human beings getting ever larger, ‘flying johns’ become smaller (one person described the ‘commode experience’ their four-hour flight as akin to being a ‘contortionist performing yoga’, with encore.)

    Boredom? Windows. Entertainment? Inflight movie. Drama? Air turbulence. Air miles? Barf bag. Relief? Alcohol. Hunger? Food. Server? Flight Attendant. Sexual tension? Ditto (today passenger in the seat next yours just as likely suffice as be a sexual perpetrator, those even dare try to nap let alone slumber with all the other distraction going on.)

    All this and more the modern accommodation (one an A-380 death trap- er, Airbus, capable supporting just shy 1,000 backsides, ‘for to better share the experience’ with others.

    Who’d ever want to return those simpler days yore, once more?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh0VGogje4U

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXPwn_HaZm0

    * sigh * (where to sign up?) ✈️

  5. Dee says:

    Your pretty much nailed what we are in today’s age and society…politicians have us hating each other and not the true a-holes who sit back and laugh at Trumptards, liberal snowflakes, immigrants, Muslims, non-Muslims, war on Christmas, you name it…all the above are indeed on the same side but we are blinded by hate spewed from others…

    Great article…thanks for venting!

  6. There’s no room in the middle. Centrists are literally torn limb from limb by extremes on BOTH sides of the aisle. Seriously, when Kanye West gets roasted by the Twitter mob and Maxine Waters because he doesn’t exactly toe the politically leftist line like an African American man is supposed to…where else can you go? Plus, each of the ruling parties are being drug further to the left and right. The Democrats are being infiltrated by the socialists. Bernie Sanders was just the start. Ocasio-Cortez is just the next logical step. The Republican party is only relevant because the Dems were busy corrupting their own nomination process and alienating their base. The Repubs are under the delusion that they have great strength. They do not.

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