Look, I don’t know if the Chiefs are going to beat the Patriots in New England on Saturday afternoon. If I knew, I guess I’d be psychic, and if I were psychic, I would have won the Powerball, and if that would have happened, I wouldn’t be here writing this while I was supposed to be rotating this lady’s tires. I would probably go out to breakfast, maybe someplace nice like Denny’s or Perkins, and when the server asked me if I wanted the bacon or the sausage, I’d say “how about you give me BOTH, babe” as I tipped her a wealthy-guy wink.
But I didn’t win the Powerball and I’m not psychic and I don’t know what will happen in the game. But I can make some guesses.
Jeremy Maclin won’t play.
A high-ankle sprain isn’t a torn ACL, but it’s also not a scraped knee. It’s pretty bad. And even though this one hasn’t been called “severe,” I’m willing to bet that it’s enough to keep him off the field. (And if it doesn’t, no way he’s any kind of actual factor. A decoy, maybe, but not a legitimate threat to do something good and footballish in nature.)
Alex Smith’s legs will probably be a factor.
Meaning, like, he’s going to use them. To scramble away from the Patriots. Several times, probably. It will probably help because, as the quarterback, the defense has to be open to the possibility that the quarterback might also throw the ball. It’s tricky, though, because Alex Smith could throw or run it—it’s anyone’s guess.
I hate this notion. Conley might be a pretty good receiver someday, and hey, he might even have a decent game on Saturday, but suggesting that he’ll “step up” imples that until now, he’s been kind of not trying his hardest, maybe. I understand how “number one” and “number two” receiver works, but if he wasn’t a number one before Maclin hurt his ankle, how will he magically become one now? Through MAGIC? Buddy, magic ain’t real.
NE’s dual tight end threat will give the Chiefs fits.
Rob “The Gronk” Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez are two of the best—if not THE best—tight ends in the league. Covering the pair will make life miserable for the vaunted Chiefs’ defense.
Damn, I hope Justin Houston’s knee isn’t still fucked up.
They said that he didn’t re-aggravate anything on Saturday against the Texans, but that he was having problems with the new knee brace instead. Man, I hope they’re right. Kansas City’s best chance at winning is sacking the hell out of ace QB Tom Brady, and their best chance of doing THAT is if Houston, Tamba Hali and Percy Snow are all healthy.
From where, I’m not sure. Marco’s isn’t bad for chain pizza, and it’s SO much cheaper than like, Minsky’s. Plus, the Minsky’s by me—the one on Tomahawk—really sucks. I’ve tried it on three different occasions (because Minsky’s is usually pretty great), and I’ve always been disappointed. I’ve had carryout take more than an hour twice, and I’ve always been disappointed in the pizza itself. It’s like they use 50% less toppings than other Minsky’s, and the ingredients don’t taste very fresh. Ugh.
I think the Chiefs will win.
I don’t know if I actually believe this or not. I don’t feel one way of the other, actually. So if that’s the case, I might as well just hope for the best.
Thanks for reading. Go Chiefs.