To say my newspaper delivery has been irregular at best would be charitable.
I’ve been keeping the phone numbers to the customer service departments of both the Kansas City Star and USA Today handy because I know I’ll be needing them again and again and again in coming days and weeks.
And no, I don’t live in the boonies, I live in mainstream Overland Park.
However a recent policy by the Star to no longer give a credit for newspapers not delivered during a vacation hold really ticked me off. I was told that all papers held while on vacation would be delivered in one large bundle upon my return.
But I didn’t want those old papers and truth be told, I wasn’t shopping for another vacation either.
The Star told me that I could also contribute the cost of my vacation held newspapers to some charity.
Hey, let ME decide who to include in my charity giving.
I don’t need the Kansas City Star‘s advice on that.
So – quite reluctantly – I opted for the big bundle throw on my recent return from Germany.
When the daily service resumed there was neither a backup bundle of papers left nor a credit on my billing, a tax deduction, whatever.
(So if any acquaintances of mine died while I was out of the country and their family didn’t receive my condolences, blame the Kansas City Star for not providing me with the daily obits that I missed.
That brings me to my latest gripe.
After once again missing the Sunday newspapers for two weeks in a row, I again called the Star’s automated customer service line.
Well, you can imagine my surprise when instead of getting the usual, “We’re Sorry” song and dance, instead I was advised I’d been selected to win a cruise—after taking a brief survey, that is.
WOW! No newspaper but a cruise! Not a bad schmooze.
Soon I was connected to a live operator who congratulated me on my good fortune and said that the two day getaway to the Bahamas would be free—except for port fees, etc. Airfare, of course, would not be included.
Well, I wasn’t quite ready to do that. “But why not?,” the operator asked.
Hey, it was Sunday morning, 8:40 a.m. and all I really wanted was the Sunday newspaper. Calculating a two day vacation on a moment’s notice just wasn’t in the cards. Hell, I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee yet!
When the operator/seller couldn’t convince me about this being my lucky day and all, she gave up. No second chances for me, I guess.
The bottom line:
Once again I was pissed off for not receiving my subscribed to Sunday Kansas City Star.
And instead of again trying to pacify me, the newspaper chose to use its customer service line as a bottom feeder revenue source.
That’s a new low in customer retention in my book.
I had to call back a second time since my nixing the free cruise vacation triggered a dead phone line.
And my Sunday newspaper finally showed up at 11:00 a.m.
What was that old Perry Como song? “Catch a Falling Star.”