Hearne: Stanford & Sons Last Stand (KCK Style)

Craig Glazer, comic Eddie Ifft & Jeff Glazer on last night at Stanford's in KCK

Craig Glazer, comic Eddie Ifft & Jeff Glazer on last night at Stanford’s KCL

It was the end of an era – a short one – but nonetheless an era…

After just shy of eight years, Stanford & Sons comedy club at The Legends in KCK is no more. To commemorate the occasion I saddled up for both nights of its final weekend shows at the end of June.

The crowds were a little thin, but the staff’s spirits were high as they looked ahead to what appears to be a huge improvement in the club’s all important asset – location, location, location.

Did I mention that KCK was a beautiful dream that really never came true?

“Unfortunatly, it’s mostly poor folks who live around here,” Stanford’s main man Craig Glazer told me. “And there really is no other entertainment out here anymore. So we are heading in another direction where the people are. I mean, we had a great time here because this is probably the nicest comedy club in the country. Just the main room cost a million bucks to build, because they built it from the ground up.”

Glazer spent the final week of on stage saying goodbye to the KCK crowds and inviting them to visit the new club at Rosana Square on 119th Street in Overland Park.

“Do you guys listen to Johnny Dare?” he asked at the early show Friday. “He’s a punk and I should beat him up and I could…Have a great time tonight; we’ll see you August 15th in Overland Park.”

What Glazer won’t miss about his time at Legends?

“What I won’t miss is that Legends never developed the kind of nightlife they thought they could,” he says.

The wildest thing to go down in his eight years there?

“Well, a couple of things. Carlos Mencia – one of the biggest comedy stars – had a drunken girl get up behind him on stage and grab him. And she was really attractive, but she was drunk as hell. I believe she was with her husband and she said, ‘I have a huge crush on you and I want you to fuck me.’ She said, ‘I’m going to leave her husband and spend the night with you.’ Which pissed her husband off and he was in the audience yelling at her.

Tour for the Troops 2009

Mencia

“So I got up there with a manager and a security guy and she said, ‘If you even touch me, I’m going to have you arrested and charged with assault.’ And Mencia didn’t know what to do.  He kept trying to work around her and he was funny, but he couldn’t because she kept grabbing his butt and his crotch. Finally the KCK police showed up and they said, ‘Ma’am, if you don’t come with us, we’ll carry you off.’ They got her out on the patio finally and arrested her, but she wouldn’t leave. And she was hot, but I felt bad for her husband.”

Memory No. 2

“The other funny one, also involves the police,” Glazer says. “We were shooting a pilot for a reality show on FX about how crazy the Glazer family is. And so they had a little film crew there and Dave Coulier was onstage when this woman in the audience started singing the theme song for Full House. And Dave couldn’t do his show and she wouldn’t stop. So Dave said, ‘Get her out of there.’

Coulier

Coulier

“And she was with her boyfriend from England and the cameras were rolling when I got ’em out in the lobby and told them if they behaved they could stay. I said, don’t make me kick you out. And the boyfriend accused my brother Jeff of assaulting his girlfriend because he had put his hand on her shoulder to make her sit down.

“So he got in my face and said, ‘I’m from England and there the audience is part of the show and I don’t have to be quiet. And I’m going to thrash Jeff within an inch of his life.’ And he said, ‘I’m not afraid of you,’ and he called me a bunch of bloody somethings and said I was American trash. And the KCK police just happened to be walking by and saw the cameras and stuff and they got the guy out in front of the club and were telling him to calm down.

“And they told him just to go and watch the show and behave – and the one cop had an American flag on his uniform – and the guy looked at the flag and poked it with his finger. And on the second poke, they swept him off his feet with their legs, he fell and they caught him and it was like a rodeo. They hog tied him instantly with plastic handcuffs and had him in a bundle in seconds. These guys were good – I’ve never seen anything like it. So they picked him up in a bundle and said, ‘Now you’re going to spend the night in jail.’ And he was screaming at them and she was yelling at the police too.

“I mean, it was pretty impressive that the police were that good at it. I mean, they were like rodeo cowboys. I couldn’t have done that. But overall, we had very few incidents there at the club.”

Now that Glazer – who lives in Fairway – will be working in OP, what are the chances of him hanging at Legends after eight years of going there almost daily?

“My brother asked me that,” Glazer says. He said, When you leave Legends do you think you’ll ever go there again for the rest of your life?’ And I looked at him and said, ‘You know what? I think there’s a good chance I’ll never go there again.

“Here’s what’s weird. When I came back to Kansas City in 1990 and Westport was in big trouble, I really got into Kansas City and the comedy club. I’d been in LA for nine years and LA was still my main home. And I was flying back and forth to there twice a month and I didn’t make KC my permanent home until 1993. But when I took over Stanford’s, it kind of exploded and we started the dance club and the crowd we had back then was all college kids and right out of college. I never dreamed it would turn into a black dance club.”

Buh, by!

Buh, by!

Shades of the Plaza…

“And Legends has been a tough deal for us the entire time. Because when people came here there was no place else to go. People would drive here from Johnson County and afterwards they’d say, ‘Now we have no where else to go.’ ”

No mas.

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25 Responses to Hearne: Stanford & Sons Last Stand (KCK Style)

  1. CG says:

    Well my friend Hearne likes to stir the pot. First off I did about 20 minutes of stand up for Eddie Ifft who was doing a pod cast for his LA based show. Second I made fun of many things, regarding Dare, I mentioned our 20 plus years on air together and also said he is number one and it’s his show. Johnny and I argue all the time its his show, his mic, so my being on there is up to him, not me. Yes some things he says upset me, like”Craig owes me 15 grand from Johnny Dares”…well not quite true. That store went into Chapter 7, so nobody could be paid after that, by law. His ‘money’ was for his name being on the building and helping promote the club, which he was well paid for until the final couple months, when biz was slow. It wasn’t money he put in or lost with investment. So not much harm done there. I think I treated my friend pretty well all these years. And Johnny has made me a household name as is his..from 22 years on that show, every week. Sometimes familiarity causes issues. The arguing made it fun for the listeners and sometimes painful for me. No some of his putdowns are not cool, but thats been the trade off to be the ‘best known’ guest on the show all these years. The guy is a talent, and he is often very funny…but so am I…in this case I was only joking and the audience knew it.

    As for Legends. I think one day it will be a success for most places out there. Simply need more houses,apartments and folks living out that way. It will happen. Maybe in 5-10 years…we put in 8 and didnt feel another decade of waiting would work.

    The sports places there do well, Sporting KC, T Bones, NASSCAR so on..all draw big…the center does well with some family clothing stores, some food service restaurants like YARDHOUSE AND THE JAZZ, but the crowds at night are very small after 7 PM and that doesn’t work for us…that’s all. I wish them well. We were treated very well out there and I loved our neighbors. Dave and Busters were great guys…so moves the news.

  2. harley says:

    you’re gonna kill it. YOU’LL need brinks to run a special over to regniers
    bank hourly with the money you’ll make….great location and the area
    needs entertainment.
    and don’t forget those front row vip ticks for Harley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Jack Springer says:

    *crickets*

    No one cares.

  4. Richard Cranium says:

    Failure breeds failure. He keeps claiming he saved this and saved that, and “Plaza is dead”. Perhaps it is you that kill everything you touch. How’s that movie deal showing?

    • CG says:

      Well smart ass, I am in final negotiations on a major movie called THE KNG OF STING, its sold baby. Hearne will write the details in a couple weeks when its all inked. Any other smart remarks? I didn’t think so.

  5. rkcal says:

    Good luck in the new digs, Glaze. Wow. The vitriol….’kill everything you touch”? I wonder what brings out the hatorade more? Stories about Glazer or soccer? It’s probably a tie. And that’s un-American.

  6. paulwilsonkc says:

    Good luck, Craig, I think its going to be a great location for you.
    Save me two VIP, riiiiiight next to Harley, if you would.

    • harley says:

      can’t waait….wilsun…we’ve already met….bring your best one liners…
      you and I could take over the stage and outdoe even tj miller with
      our banter back and forth. we’d be like laurel and hardy….martin and
      lewis….we’d pack the house!!!!
      glaze cocntact my agent….lewis wylie at 913 338 6875 to get a contract
      drawn up.
      luv ya wilsun….looking forward to swimming in that above ground pool
      you’re building!!! (now that was funny!)…hahahahahaaha
      take care…Harley
      this is all fun and games…..

    • the dude says:

      Yeah, I’ll take two next to harlinator if he makes it out from his prepper bunker under the OP Sewage Treatment Plant No.3.

    • harley says:

      theres only 3 Harleys I know of…we can all
      definitely fit in glazes place.
      and wislun…we sat 3 seats apart at the kaufman…..wanted to introduce
      myself but you left too ffast.
      I will say this…your wife *and I pray it was your wife”…..was stunning.
      the invite still stands…come on bye….bring some of that new greafruit
      beer….its fantastic…and I hate beer…..
      luv ya……………

  7. harley says:

    those are some good lines dude and wislun. Well wisluns isn’tthat good.
    use those on stage. You’ll look even more foolish than you already do.
    wheres that jewel theif wislun…still hiding under the dashboard.
    where’s that “big breaking news item” you crowed about as an sprint “insider”
    when I proved beyond any doubt that news was public a year earlier.
    come on guys….this is for fun and entertainment….
    take a breath.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Where’s your SECOND story that’s going to blow our socks off, jurnalust? Still watching that IRS story, it’s a YEAR past when you said it would die!
      Get the board out of your eye before you go picking at splinters; that’s in the OT so it’s from YOUR Bible.

      • harley says:

        sorry Wilson…it would be one of the biggest stories this
        blog has ever seenand with hearnes censorship of my
        stories and his probable worries about what the story
        was about he would take the safe route and notrisk
        the potential feedback that would definitely come.
        AS far as the irs story…yeah yeah yeah…it sure is big news..
        if you’re one of the 80 yearolds still watching fox news
        besides that no one really cares.
        if you read the opposing viewpoints and listened you would
        know that the irs has been used as political tool for
        years. Now tell me how many right wing organizations
        lost their status…how many left wing organizations lost their status.
        the whole story is that the entire government on both sides
        of the aisle is using the tax system to continue to take every
        last dime americans might have. Under bush…thousands
        used the laws to avoid paying their share of taxes…both left
        and right wingers. Its cash …and cash doesn’t care about
        politics.
        when you find a subject that gets some press lets discuss
        it. The irs story is essentially dead…the hearings were a mess
        and now they can’t find the emails..sound familiar…same story
        usedby the reublicans when they needed to “lose” some mail.
        I hve proven that I know what I speak of…I get emails that
        intelligently discuss issues that I take neither the right or
        left side of.
        You’ve read my comments in full…you know my feellings…
        you knonw what I say is coming…you read how I have
        consistently have said that both sides of the aisle have
        taken ths nation to the brink. We are facing some huge
        problems…and it will take concerned/knowledgable/
        active/informed americans to correct the course.
        If not…we will end up with our cities ablaze and a nation
        that fell asleep at the wheel.
        I have worked for both sides….top democrats and republicans…
        have seen the other side. You have children and probably
        grandchildren. would love to discuss with you what the
        future lies ahead for them. Not in a bantering way…but
        a civil conversation with facts and not in the public realm
        of kcc or tkc where the guy with the smartest retort looks like
        the smart one on the block.
        Iinvite you to come by sometime. Not to scream and yell….
        but make a difference because its guys like us who are the only
        ones who seem to care and who have some common sense
        to save what we have left.
        Again…I am not some conspiracy expert…I see the numbers and
        the pattern.
        The world has changed. WE’d better be better protectors of
        that which both our parents gave us or the next generation
        of this nation will be forever forgotten.
        I dol love to joke with you…but you take me too seriously.
        I love to have a good time. And yes…there are more than
        one Harley and I even heard someone trying to imitate me
        on a talk show last week. Nice try…
        I’ve never threatened you…I defended you when you were right
        and stood against the vile statements made against your
        family. We can agree…and we can agree to disagree.
        Take care…probably see you soon…your friend and
        proofreader (l0l) harely.
        take care….this blog is noting without the two of us….

        • paulwilsonkc says:

          Harley, you dont have the balls to meet in person and you know it. But thanks. If you ever grow a pair, you know how to find me, unlike you.

  8. Dala says:

    Good luck! This should be a great addition to that area of OP.

  9. The Heckler says:

    “We were shooting a pilot for a reality show on FX about how crazy the Glazer family is….”

    Everybody saw that, right? Just kidding….

    In all sincerity Craig, I love hearing success stories and wish you all the best.
    There’s too much doom and gloom in the news, as well as some folks lives, so laughter and success are a good thing to hear about.

  10. Rainbow Man says:

    JOCO nightlife is bouncing back faster than you can say 10 10 Taxi. Glazer is making a good move and the Dottes cant rip him… He did 8 years out there. At least Stanford’s has the ability to move to another location and not sit and rot.

  11. harley says:

    why isn’t glaze #2 in more photo ops…??????????????????????
    and on the radio..??????????????????????????????????

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