Hearne: Coming Soon; Beware of Twinkies Bearing Baggage

Hostess Twinkies Celebrate 75th AnniversaryEt tu, Hostess?

First Monsanto, now Twinkies…the ongoing death march of prepackaged, processed foods into day-to-day lives continues.

Starting next week we’ll be getting new, improved, longer lasting Twinkies snack cakes, courtesy of a reconstituted Hostess Brands.

The investors who bought the right to make Twinkies, Hostess Cupcakes, etc. will return the snack cakes to the marketplace starting next week.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is the Twinkies “shelf life” will soar from 26 days to 45 days.

What’s not to like about nearly doubling a product’s “freshness?”

Plenty.

A “normal,” homemade cupcake might have a shelf life – remaining halfway fresh – of maybe a week tops. More than tripling that to 26 days entails adding preservatives to an already highly processed product. God only knows what nearly doubling that means in terms of delivering a halfway healthy product.

slide_263863_1768881_freeAnd far be it from Hostess to come clean on the matter.

The company has declined to identify what changes were made to hit the 45 day mark.

There’s more.

Hostess is also saying it will further lengthen the life of Twinkies by shipped them frozen, enabling retailers to stamp their own expiration dates on the cakes.

Will freezing affect the taste?

Any suggestion that Hostess is altering the “integrity” of its cakes is “completely untrue,” a spokeswoman says.

That’s bullshit, Yahoo Answers says. Freezing definitely affects the flavor of the item being frozen.

Refrigeration for example, is used to slow bacterial action so it takes food longer – a week or two rather than half a day in some cases – to spoil. And while pastry is one of the better foods to freeze, taking into account the 45 day ingredient additions, raises unanswered questions

That Hostess will not come clean on its new additives can’t be good.

h0F69E5D0Let’s dig a little deeper…

According to Science, How Stuff Works,  “Monoglycerides anddiglycerides, which replace eggs in the Twinkie recipe, are compounds that act as emulsifiers. They stabilize the cake batter, enhance flavor and extend shelf life [source: Ettlinger]. A very small amount of egg is used to leaven the cake.Polysorbate 60 serves a similar function to the glycerides, keeping the cream filling creamy without the use of real fatHydrogenated shortening replaces butter, giving the cake some of its texture and flavor and prolonging shelf life.

“Taste tests by flavor experts have revealed that artificial butter flavoring is used in the cake and artificial vanilla flavoring goes into the cream filling [source: Ettlinger]. Both flavorings are chemicals derived from petroleum.

“Despite the Twinkie’s reputation, only one ingredient is an actual preservative: sorbic acid. Other ingredients have preservative functions, but sorbic acid has one primary purpose — it stops the formation of mold [source: Ettlinger].”

And that was before Hostess doubled the shelf life.

weird-people-fat-guy-eating-huge-haHow bad are Twinkies for you?

Could be worse, Live Science.com says, in, Four Foods That Are Worse for You Than Twinkies.

For the record they are, soda, fruit flavored drinks, cereal bars made with refined flour and margarine made with hydrogenated fats.

Go figure.

Anyway, see you at the Twinkie counter at Hen House and Price Chopper next week.

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11 Responses to Hearne: Coming Soon; Beware of Twinkies Bearing Baggage

  1. smartman says:

    Hostess and Monsanto are the least of our worries. 61 people die each day in the US from pharmaceutical drugs.

    The enemy is Merck, Pfizer, Bayer, Sanofi Aventis and their ilk.

    More chemistry in meds than Twinkies. Twinkies don’t come with a booklet that lists potential side effects.

    In certain cases pharma meds are necessary for intervention. Antibiotics as an example. They should not be taken forever and ever. Poor f#ckin kids taking ADD and ADHD meds don’t have a chance at a normal life.

    They don’t need pills, they need a kick in the ass and some structured discipline.

  2. paulwilsonkc says:

    Oh, thanks for this one, just as I leave for lunch.
    Seconds ago, I have a KCC reader who wants more on Monsanto send me a story on Chinese talapia being raised with raw sewage pumped in the “farm ponds” for food, then this.
    Makes one think the only safe place to eat is on the rollers at QT.

    • Bob in Eudora says:

      Paul:

      Tilapia are notorious sh#t eaters. Always have been. I was shocked when they became all the rage in the seafood business.

  3. paulwilsonkc says:

    Smarty, these are the disclaimers for Xanax; one of the most perscribed drugs and not all that powerful. Would you rather be a little stressed…. or take Xanax this and worry about the list below?

    Nervous system
    Nervous system side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorders have included drowsiness (41%), lightheadedness (20.8%), depression (13.9%), headache (12.9%), confusion (9.9%), insomnia (8.9%), nervousness (4.1%), syncope (3.1%), dizziness (1.8%), and akathisia (1.6%).

    Nervous system side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included drowsiness (76.8%), fatigue and tiredness (48.6%), impaired coordination (40.1%), irritability (33.1%), memory impairment (33.1%), lightheaded/dizziness (29.8%), insomnia (29.4%), headache (29.2%), cognitive disorder (28.8%), dysarthria (23.3%), anxiety (16.6%), abnormal involuntary movement (14.8%), decreased libido (14.4%), confused state (10.4%), muscular twitching (7.9%), increased libido (7.7%), change in libido (7.1%), weakness (7.1%), muscle tone disorders (6.3%), syncope (3.8%), akathisia (3.0%), agitation (2.9%), disinhibition (2.7%), paresthesia (2.4%), talkativeness (2.2%), vasomotor disturbances (2.0%), derealization (1.9%), dream abnormalities (1.8%), fear (1.4%), feeling warm (1.3%).

    Seizures, hallucinations, and depersonalization have been reported in less than 1% of patients. Amnesia, psychomotor impairment, anterograde memory loss, and ataxia have also been reported.

    Elderly patients and/or patients with liver dysfunction may be particularly sensitive to central nervous system side effects. The smallest effective dose should be used in the elderly to avoid the development of ataxia and oversedation.

    One study has reported that the frequency of ataxia in patients treated for panic disorder ranges between 17% and 24%. Another study has reported that patients treated acutely with alprazolam by intravenous administration experience a 25% to 30% decrease in whole brain cerebral blood flow. The decrease in blood flow is associated with memory impairment, a decrease in plasma epinephrine and a decrease in self-rated alertness. After a week of daily alprazolam therapy, most of the subjects developed tolerance to these effects.

    The following nervous system side effects have been reported to result in discontinuation of treatment in over 5% of patients and at a greater rate than placebo: insomnia (29.5%), lightheadedness (19.3%), anxiety (19.2%), fatigue and tiredness (18.4%), abnormal involuntary movement (17.3%), headache (17.0%), irritability (10.5%), cognitive disorder (10.3%), muscular twitching (6.9%), impaired coordination (6.6%), muscle tone disorders (5.9%), and weakness (5.8%), memory impairment (5.5%), depression (5.1%), and confused state (5.0%).
    There have been reports of seizures in patients following rapid decrease in dose or abrupt withdrawal of treatment with alprazolam. The risk of withdrawal seizures may be higher in patients receiving doses greater than 4 mg per day.

    Other
    In addition, some investigators have reported the following effects as manifestations of alprazolam (the active ingredient contained in Xanax) withdrawal: confusion, clouded sensorium, heightened sensory perception, dysosmia, paresthesias, diarrhea, and decreased appetite. Psychosensory symptoms such as depersonalization, derealization, and perceptual distortion have been reported as being unique to the withdrawal syndrome.
    Some investigators have suggested that the incidence of withdrawal symptoms may be related to the rapidity of dosage tapering.

    A recent review of both human and nonhuman experience with alprazolam abuse potential has concluded that the abuse liability of alprazolam is probably not greater than other commonly used benzodiazepines.
    Other side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorder have included weight gain (2.7%) and weight loss (2.3%).
    Other side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included tinnitus (6.6%), increased appetite (32.7%), decreased appetite (27.8%), weight gain (27.2%), weight loss (22.6%), edema (4.9%), and infection (1.3%).
    Other side effects have included withdrawal symptoms following either abrupt cessation or fast tapering of alprazolam. Withdrawal symptoms may include agitation, restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, convulsions, tremor, abdominal cramps, blurred vision, vomiting, and sweating. The incidence is unknown but may be higher than for other benzodiazepines.

    Ocular
    Ocular side effects have included blurred vision (6.2% to 21%) and acute worsening of narrow angle glaucoma. Diplopia has been reported rarely (less than 1%).
    Blurred vision appears to be the reason for discontinuation of therapy in 10.0% of patients.

    Psychiatric
    Psychiatric side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included major depression (12.1% to 13.8%).
    Hypomania, mania, and aggression have also been reported.

    Hepatic
    Hepatic side effects reported in less than 1% of patients have included elevated bilirubin, elevated hepatic enzymes, and jaundice.
    Hepatitis and hepatic failure have also been reported.

    Genitourinary
    Genitourinary side effects reported during treatment of panic disorder have included micturition difficulties (12.2%), menstrual disorders (10.4%), sexual dysfunction (4.9%), and incontinence (1.5%).
    Hyperlactatemia, gynecomastia, and galactorrhea have also been reported.

    Gastrointestinal
    Gastrointestinal side effects which resulted in discontinuation of treatment in over 5% of patients and at a greater rate than placebo have included nausea/vomiting (16.5%), diarrhea (13.6%), and decreased salivation (10.6%).
    Gastrointestinal side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorders have included dry mouth (14.7%), constipation (10.4%), nausea/vomiting (9.6%), and increased salivation (4.2%).

    Gastrointestinal side effects reported during treatment for panic disorders have included decreased salivation (32.8%), constipation (26.2%), nausea/vomiting (22%), diarrhea (20.6%), abdominal distress (18.3%), and increased salivation (5.6%).
    Alteration of taste has been reported in less than 1% of patients.

    General
    In general, if they occur, side effects are observed at the beginning of therapy and usually resolve with continuation of therapy.
    Postmarketing side effects have included gastrointestinal disorder, hypomania, mania, liver enzyme elevations, hepatitis, hepatic failure, Stevens-Johnson syndrome, angioedema, peripheral edema, hyperprolactinemia, gynecomastia, and galactorrhea.

    Dermatologic
    Dermatologic side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorders have included dermatitis/allergy (3.8%).
    Dermatologic side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included sweating (15.1%) and rash (10.8%).
    Dermatologic side effects have rarely included photosensitivity. Stevens-Johnson syndrome has also been reported.
    Dermatologic side effects which resulted in discontinuation of treatment in over 5% of patients and at a greater rate than placebo have included sweating (14.4%).

    Respiratory
    Respiratory side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorder have included nasal congestion (7.3%).
    Respiratory side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included nasal congestion (17.4%), hyperventilation (9.7%), and upper respiratory infection (4.3%).
    Respiratory side effects associated with patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease have included decreased pO2 and increased pCO2.

    Endocrine
    A short study on 58 patients with poor glycemic control concluded alprazolam (the active ingredient contained in Xanax) improved glucose regulation and the effect was not directly related to changes in anxiety.
    Endocrine side effects have included improved glucose regulation.

    Cardiovascular
    Cardiovascular side effects which resulted in discontinuation of treatment in over 5% of patients and at a greater rate than placebo have included tachycardia (12.2%).
    Cardiovascular side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorders have included tachycardia/palpitation (7.7%) and hypotension (4.7%).
    Cardiovascular side effects reported during treatment for panic disorder have included tachycardia (15.4%) and chest pain (10.6%).

    Musculoskeletal
    Musculoskeletal side effects reported during treatment for anxiety disorders have included rigidity (4.2%) and tremor (4.0%).
    Musculoskeletal side effects reported during treatment for panic disorders have included muscular cramps (2.4%) and muscular stiffness (2.2%).

  4. smartman says:

    Paul:

    Read the book Side Effects Death by John Virapem. It exposes what absolute c#nts big pharma and allopathic doctors are.

  5. the dude says:

    Eh, Twinkies never tasted the same after they changed the cream filling from regular sugar filling to HFCS.

    • Bob in Eudora says:

      Wonder if they make Mexican Twinkies? You can buy Mexican Coca-Cola, made with sugar vs HFCS. If you’re a Coke junkie you’ll notice the difference. Even the Mexicans are smart enough to ban HFCS.

  6. Super Dave says:

    To be honest I avoid about anything that has the word snack on its package. And not sure what is safe for you anymore unless you grow it in your own backyard and hope the neighbor isn’t slinging something at it in the middle of the night. But people are living longer so hell who knows anymore what you should or shouldn’t do.

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