New Jack City: Letterman Pays Homage to Trailers from Hell

One of my not-so secret vices in life is movie trailers…

Not the good ones, mind you, the hard sell, schlock approach ones used to market B-movies. And it’s not necessarily the pictures on the screen that give me those warm and fuzzy feelings. It’s the voice overs on the soundtracks.

You know the kind, deep, hoarse and sleazy sounding.
So when David Letterman offered a trailer tribute Top 10 list last week, I was in hog heaven.

What Dave’s list promised were Ten Things You DON’T Want to Hear in a Movie Trailer. And to spice things up he had the list read by trailer voice meister Hugh Morgan.

Here then are Letterman’s list of things you don’t want to hear in a movie trailer:

# 10—“In a world where waffles don’t exist….”

# 9—-“From the director who once met the nephew of the director who brought you THE GODFATHER”

# 8—-“Meryl Streep IS New Jersey governor Chris Christie”

# 7—-“Come see the film Entertainment Weekly calls ’97 minutes in length’ ”

# 6—-“Starring Tom Hanks, but not THAT Tom Hanks”

# 5—-“The incredible, true story of a teenager’s monkey, seized by German authorities”

# 4—-“Strap yourself in for two hours you’ll never get back”

# 3—-“Coming soon, another asinine movie about vampires”

# 2—-“Special sneak preview at midnight….in my van”

And the # 1 thing you don’t want to hear in a movie trailer:

“Anthony Weiner in 3D”

Funny stuff, but it sounded better as delivered by the distinctive and resonant movie trailer voice of Hugh Morgan.

And so, next time you’re watching a preshow at your local plex and hear someone laughing at the most inappropriate time—not to worry, it’s probably just me.