What’s that line?
Suppose they gave a war and nobody came. Such was the case at 5 p.m. sharp tonight outside the Beaumont Club in Westport.
That’s where former KCC scribe Craig Glazer was supposed to throw down with the comments section personality known as smartman.
So who won?
“Me,” Glazer says. “He no-showed.”“I was going to (effing) kill him. I had Bill Nigro and my brother Jeff there as witnesses.”
Then what happened?
“I waited until about 5:20 p.m. and I didn’t see anyone who wanted to tangle with me, so I left at 5:25 p.m.
“He knows who I am – he saw a picture of me with my shirt off on Tony’s, so I was the one walking in blind, not him. I was the one taking all the risk. I did it anyway because I’m a man of my word.”
The comments section war of words with smartman started some time back and escalated from there, Glazer says.
“I remember a few months back I jokingly said to him, ‘You’re gay. You should check out the ads in the back of the Pitch,’ and that got to him,” Glazer says. “Look, I don’t know who smartman is – he could be Bill Clinton for all I know – or Honey Boo Boo..
“It’s fine for people to write anonymous comments with names like Puppy or Harley or Super Dave, but when you attack somebody else with a real name that makes you a punk.”
Anyway, lesson learned, Glazer says.
“I’ll never do this again. I’ve had a bunch of tough scrapes in my life, but I’m not out to pound anybody. Anyway, it came to nothing – he no-showed.”
Glazer’s advice to smartman:
“Grow up. Either grow a pair or if your name is Mark Smith, then be Mark Smith. Or just attack the story, not the person writing it. It’s easy to throw rocks when you’re on a cliff 80 feet away and there’s a parade going by below with the Super Bowl winners. How brave is that?
“Hey, the guy called me out. I was there. He wasn’t. And this ended his credibility. You know, I don’t want to be this guy that’s battling people in the comments section. I’m a guy who’s still out there in the game.
“I think it’s lucky for smartman that he didn’t show up because by the way, I’m not that afraid for getting arrested for assault in Kansas City, Missouri. I think I could get out of that one.”
Not that there wasn’t a bit of local color to the No Showdown.
“Nigro was having a great time,” Glazer says. “He was like, ‘What about that guy?’ and ‘What about that guy?’ And my brother Jeff went up to a car that kept circling and said, ‘Is your name smartman?’
“And the guy was like, ‘No, I’m not smartman. I swear I’m not.’ We thought maybe he was one of the readers who came down to watch me get pounded.”
Oh, and one more thing…
“I took a photo of me in front of the Beaumont Club holding up today’s Kansas City Star to prove I was there,” Glazer says.