Hearne: Battle @ Beaumont a No Show

imagejpeg_3What’s that line?

Suppose they gave a war and nobody came. Such was the case at 5 p.m. sharp tonight outside the Beaumont Club in Westport.

That’s where former KCC scribe Craig Glazer was supposed to throw down with the comments section personality known as smartman.

So who won?

“Me,” Glazer says. “He no-showed.”“I was going to (effing) kill him. I had Bill Nigro and my brother Jeff there as witnesses.”

Then what happened?

“I waited until about 5:20 p.m. and I didn’t see anyone who wanted to tangle with me, so I left at 5:25 p.m.

“He knows who I am – he saw a picture of me with my shirt off on Tony’s, so I was the one walking in blind, not him. I was the one taking all the risk. I did it anyway because I’m a man of my word.”

knockout_punch-1The comments section war of words with smartman started some time back and escalated from there, Glazer says.

“I remember a few months back I jokingly said to him, ‘You’re gay. You should check out the ads in the back of the Pitch,’ and that got to him,” Glazer says. “Look, I don’t know who smartman is – he could be Bill Clinton for all I know – or Honey Boo Boo..

“It’s fine for people to write anonymous comments with names like Puppy or Harley or Super Dave, but when you attack somebody else with a real name that makes you a punk.”

Anyway, lesson learned, Glazer says.

“I’ll never do this again. I’ve had a bunch of tough scrapes in my life, but I’m not out to pound anybody. Anyway, it came to nothing – he no-showed.”

imagesGlazer’s advice to smartman:

“Grow up. Either grow a pair or if your name is Mark Smith, then be Mark Smith. Or just attack the story, not the person writing it. It’s easy to throw rocks when you’re on a cliff  80 feet away and there’s a parade going by below with the Super Bowl winners. How brave is that?

“Hey, the guy called me out. I was there. He wasn’t. And this ended his credibility. You know, I don’t want to be this guy that’s battling people in the comments section. I’m a guy who’s still out there in the game.

“I think it’s lucky for smartman that he didn’t show up because by the way, I’m not that afraid for getting arrested for assault in Kansas City, Missouri. I think I could get out of that one.”

51JAX3DBFZLNot that there wasn’t a bit of local color to the No Showdown.

“Nigro was having a great time,” Glazer says. “He was like, ‘What about that guy?’ and ‘What about that guy?’ And my brother Jeff went up to a car that kept circling and said, ‘Is your name smartman?’

“And the guy was like, ‘No, I’m not smartman. I swear I’m not.’ We thought maybe he was one of the readers who came down to watch me get pounded.”

Oh, and one more thing…

“I took a photo of me in front of the Beaumont Club holding up today’s Kansas City Star to prove I was there,” Glazer says.


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64 Responses to Hearne: Battle @ Beaumont a No Show

  1. Super Dave says:

    “That’s where former KCC scribe Craig Glazer was supposed to throw down with the comments section personality known as smartman.”

    Well isn’t that interesting? So where is it that smartman is supposed to have said , I will be there bring it on?

  2. chuck says:

    The Big winner?

    The Kansas Ciy Star. This is the biggest surge in circulation in 10 years.

    The picture on the front of tha Star? Yep, you guessed it, Manti Te’o’s newest squeeze.

    Glaze has on the Rocky Balboa gloves and is draped in black.

    No need for requiems, discretion being the better part of valor, everyone is safe at home.

    And that is a good thing.


  3. R U Kidding says:

    The sooner that roid rage pedo glazer dies the better off the worl will be. What a fkg retard…. as is posting a story like this.

  4. balbonis moleskine says:

    I miss the beaumont. They did have good boxing there. Better boxing and mma location than a concert venue.

    As for the scribe he looks like Oswald but remains the undisputed king of kcconfidential brawls! ha bravo

  5. Mysterious J says:

    I am no fan of Craig’s, but give him kudos for being man enough to show up. I guess from now on we can refer to the comment section legend as “cowardman”.

  6. KCMonarch says:

    I have to give credit where credit is due. Anybody can be an ITG but when you get called out like this any credibility you may have built up as an anonymous troll goes straight to zero. Oh wait……well you get the idea.

  7. paulwilsonkc says:

    “It’s fine for people to write anonymous comments with names like Puppy or Harley or Super Dave, but when you attack somebody else with a real name that makes you a punk.” Craig Glazer

    Thank you Craig! Be warned, any of you punks who want to attack me, you’re just punkity punk punks, ya punks!

  8. mike says:

    This reminds me of something from Junior High School.

    • the dude says:

      At the flag pole at 3 o’clock punk!!

      Jesus, you are supposed to be a grown man Glazer, please try and act like one.
      Part of that means you don’t get too riled up over intarwebs comments.

      • Indeed says:

        Grownup? Isn’t Glaze a senior citizen?

        Maybe Glaze should offer to fight all of his most famous critics. I picture a ladder-style tournament along the lines of the old Mortal Kombat video game. Hearne, this is your new angle, mark my words.

        There are pictures of smartman on other internet forums, and I’m no Jimmy the Greek but he appears to box in the Artie Lange weight class.

  9. Burt says:

    What kind of grown man/supposed adult, picks a fight online then says meet for a fist fight? This is one of the most retarded things I have ever heard. No good can come from this type of shit. What result would be a good thing? Why is Hearne wasting space on this type of stupidity?

    RIGHT NOW, as I type, as you read, there are people sitting in a jail cell because they were stupid enough to show up for a fight like this. People fight, someone hits head, people die, people go to jail. Do you idiots not read the news. Did you not hear about that fist fight on the plaza a couple of years ago where the guys died? Or are you all just stupid?

    It is disgusting to look at that disgrace of a picture of this moron holding up his newspaper up, like he is some kind of hero., and Hearne posts it? What the hell?

    Here is the truth. Craig is (and has always been) a cocaine addict, that is why he is such a blowhard and does stupid shit like this, and facts be known any friends he has on the police force should be extra careful about their dealings with him. Eventually he is going down, and anybody around is going down too.

    Best advice? don’t fight, don’t do cocaine, don’t go to jail.

  10. rkcal says:

    Smartman, Harley, etc. are fictional characters. Strictly for entertainment purposes only. You might as well schedule a “throw down” with Harry Potter. As portrayed online, they do not exist. Taking them seriously and actually wasting realtime on them shows a certain lack of , um. …..sanity.

  11. smartman says:

    Float like a butterfly
    Sting like a bee
    Glaze can’t hit
    What Glaze can’t see

    Seems pretty light out
    For a photo at 5
    Just one more sad story
    More Glazer Jive

    Just like Patrick Swayze
    I Roadhoused your ass
    Go take your seat
    At the back of the class

    You are no match
    With your fists or your brain
    Go post at Tony’s
    So we can complain

  12. CG says:

    Hearne, who has limited space, left out a couple things…one I did not put Harley or Super Dave down, I used them as example of people who do entertain and cause no real harm. Super Dave and I once had a feud, kinda, but lately he has been fair. Again attacking my stories is fine. Don’t agree fine. Not liking me fine…but the continual personal below the belt, usually untrue comments, directed really not at me but the public who reads this…you are really sending them a ‘wire’ not to like me or that I am a bad person and you are the ‘word’ when you aren’t. I think I have told the good and bad about myself and often. I have even praised some comment writers on their pieces including Harley’s humor, Super Dave’s being decent and often makes good points on stories, same with Paul on and on, but to spend half your day with a hate campaign against a man you don’t know and belittle even his dead little brother, that’s a bit much…remember this guy called me out and with it more slander so I simply said OK.

    This was done to prove a point. I know who I am and what I can do and can’t. Yes I have lived a rough and tumble life. I am older now, but still more than capable. When attacked I defend. I do not LOOK for trouble.

    I said if I get a charge for a fight in KCMO,I could get out of it, I meant legally not that they would just let me go, they would not.

    Hearne will interview me now and again here, my stories will be on Tonyskc…we will see how it goes. I am here to inform, entertain and tell you my side of things….that’s all. If you don’t care for me fine. if you don”t like the story ,fine….but again if you want to have some reality to your words and statements try making them more about the story than about me…up to you.

    Hey I don’t know Smartman is, and really don’t care. In a way I feel bad for him, he stepped into a trap he couldn’t get out of, happens. By his writing I figured he was not a tough guy..”I’m gonna give Glazer a shinner”…”he better bring a steak to cover that black eye” come on these are 9th grade slogans, not the words of a man who has been in any contact fights to speak of…so I figured he was all talk, just wanted to prove a point and did.

    • vice president joe biden says:

      He still hasnt figured out that anyone can type a name in the box, and that tricking someone into showing up in real life over an internet argument is hilarious. It was pretty rainy, I bet that burrito kept him warm during the hour long wait. I must admit people are more internet saavy nowadays but we still have glazer to entertain us.

    • George Wilson says:

      I’m not sure what the “entertainment value” is in repeated gay, racial, and ethnic slurs, which is what smartman wallows in. Of course he keeps his identity secret and hides behind his keyboard. Who in their right mind would want to be associated with the hate and filth he spews?

      While two sixtyish year old men meeting in a parking lot is junior high schoolish, part of me is glad Craig did it. Fictional character or not, there is a real person posting that garbage. The fact he was unwilling to show up and let Glazer see the face behind the filth tells you all you need to know about his true character.

      Craig, if we ever meet, the first drink is on me.

    • Hearne says:

      I don’t have limited space. It’s called editing

  13. mayor sly james says:

    Craig, you are just the man we need to clean up this town. Would you be interested in helping out as a special advisor? Come down to my office asap, they will be expecting you.

  14. Someone says:

    Craig… To be fair when you say attack the story not the the person writing the story. Everything you write is about YOU! When you write a story there is always something about how it applies to your life.

    • CG says:

      Sometimes, but lately not really…when I am in them it is only to give some color to the story… that’s all. But have it your way guys

  15. mark smith says:

    Couple of things. Smartman isn’t Mark Smith, although Mark Smith is a Smart Man.
    If either Craig or Hearne are insinuating that I, Mark Smith, and Smartman are one in the same, they are both as wrong as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
    I don’t play that meet me out back childish bull$hit. I don’t play at all. I quit school because they had recess. I took the radio out of my car because it played. In other words, let my name taste like a $hit sammich in your mouth, and stop throwing it in the middle of Glazers ” Immaturity Tour 2013″ sponsored by the makers of HGH and Hair club for Men. If you were just using Mark Smith as an example of a common name, then use another one, and never mind.

  16. Zak says:

    Maybe smartman is a chick

  17. Fresh says:

    Glazer got catfished.

  18. Bill says:

    What kind of website publishes a photo where the subject isn’t even in focus? Who the hell took that picture. What a clusterfuck.

    HC: Here’s your answer, a news site. This wasn’t some glamor shot or studio affair. This is real life. A dude’s brother manning a cell phone cam after standing outside in the cold for half an hour.

    • mark smith says:

      More to the point; What kind of news site runs a non story about an internet pissing match that turns in to a non fight, with a fictitious internet identity? Oh, never mind, this site does those things. And just a reminder Hearne, keep my name out of Glazers internet fight story, or Ill hunt your Fiat down and cover it in Rush Limbaugh and Bush/Cheney stickers. That will make you the lead story on the 6 pm Lawrence news. I can see the headline. Big bold print. All caps.

  19. BrotherSunday says:

    Folks like to bash you until you do something like this – then actually show up. KC Star OP/ED years ago, local talk radio, blogs, twitter… no matter what decade we live in, folks will want to kick you in the mouth for being you. Rinse and repeat – until forever. I enjoy reading all of this, every day. Its pretty obvious what kind of person gets a laugh from anonymously hurling insults. They never do show up. Just hide behind screens, text lines, and twitter. Mission accomplished if they get a rise out of you.
    Understand it, embrace it. If it the pain gets too much, bow out. If you got a problem, blame somebody else.
    Wait scratch that. Nevermind – call them out and kick their ass.

    • Hearne says:

      Maybe that’s why Tony’s numbers have been in free fall the past eight or 10 months. I do think Craig will help bring him some traffic

  20. smartman says:

    Alright Glazer if you have any guts you’ll meet me between the Sphinxes at the memorial.

    I was held up because my Westminster Club called and said my jack russell just passed a hot wheel and they wanted to know if I wanted to keep the hot wheel or not.

    5pm, between the sphinxes. Sometimes we make order out of chaos and obvious things are obscured to us.

  21. Darren says:


    • CAPPY says:


  22. mike says:

    Maybe smartman is Glaze and this was just a well orchestrated publicity stunt. LOL!

  23. tiad says:

    I took that photo from the grassy knoll.

  24. KettleBell says:

    Too bad. If ever there was a human being who deserved to have his ass beat on a daily basis it’s Craig. If he only got 1 beat down for every woman he copped an unwanted feel from he’d spend the rest of his pathetic life looking like a raccoon. Of course that’s probably only going to be a few more years. Until then, watch your step, Craig. You’re a fucking haggard old man and no one cares. BTW, way to bring backup, he man.

    • Craig Glazer says:

      Who ever you are ugly Betty…I have had the pleasure of hot women, not ugly fat asses like you, who have been more than happy to not let me feel them up, but have sex…tons, hot, beautiful…why…cause I was always nice looking still am..unlike your old butt…find a dog to kick huh. Just not my dog.

      • Sam says:

        Uh, having sex with the 15 year old daughters of the whores you buy does not qualify as women, you fkg pedo weirdo.

  25. the dude says:

    Alright Galze!! I officially call you out for a fight you yellowbelly punk dweeb!!!

    Meet me at 27th and Prospect at 6PM 2night at the northeast corner so I can kick your false teeth down your throat!!!

    And if you don’t show up you are the wimpiest wussy ever to walk this sorry earth!

    • Craig Glazer says:

      I’ll send Harley, hows that.

      • the dude says:

        I was there freezing my nuts off and as we all know Harley didn’t show! Both you guys are both total whimps and wussies!!

        • the dude says:

          Alright both of you pathetic, yellowbelly knuckleheads! Meet me at 5th and Quindaro in KCK at the northeast corner. You’ll know me by the big yellow onion tied to my belt.
          And if you two (Galze and Harlinator) don’t show to get yer butts mudstomped you are the two biggest weenies of all times!!!

  26. Craig Glazer says:

    Lets get real, I highly doubt anyone who comments here can take me. I’m a guy who lived it all, you guys just read about it, watch it on TV or film…or maybe read about it in THE KING OF STING…enjoy, still out in hardcover or paperback, on Amazon.com or in any fine book store…go buy it today

  27. Matt says:

    Be careful Craig….there is someone on here that could kick your ass and Nigro’s too…actually would probably enjoy doing Nigro the most because of the scam Trolley.

    You are actually moderately entertaining (even if you are full of yourself).

  28. Blaster99 says:

    The pic looks like the Glazeman is ready to rumble! I just hope he double-taped that Apollo clearance rug down nice and tight just in case…..

  29. smartman says:

    OK gang, I’ve had fun, but its probably time for me to confess on this charade. I’ve enjoyed it, and you all have been duped!

    And Craig I really could have kicked your ass but I knew you would not have been able to handle the public humiliation. The latina chick got the last lick! hahaha

    Maria Audrey Juarez

  30. harley says:

    WTF…i’m gone for a week..and i get more ink than hearne.
    Smarmyman showed his true colors. A low life racist jagoff….he referred
    to “burning the jews”…disgusting comments about every minority and
    sexual orientation person…I would have paid $1000 to see him knocked
    the f*k out on westport road. Glad it didn’t happen.
    old rule learned long ago…NEVER GET INTO A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE
    what were you thinking. this nutcase
    would have died after one punch from glaze…guaranteed.
    Then glaze gets to spend his senior years in prison…so glaze…
    grow up…this isn’t junior high….and you have to be careful with the
    nuts on the streets right now.
    And you’re a businessman…you’ve got some pull in the town…
    this makes you look like a fool…and puts everything you’ve worked
    for at risk. Your business..your freedom…guys like this are
    dime a dozen losers…Smarmyman sells hot tubs…and you took this guy
    Benny would be disappointed…use your f** cking head for
    Then hearne…wtf are you doing????/ promoting this. And you want
    to be taken seriously? what????????? You’re sites become a washout
    of b.s….unknown dj’s nobody heard of…jfk conspiracies….
    and the rest of the junk you’re publishing?????? we pull for you to make
    this site relevant and you put this out????? come on…have you forgotten
    what you used to do in the star…wakeup…and you put out the story on
    jopo that has more holes than sliced cheese?
    Luckily harley has beeen working on new projects…
    but most importantly i wanted to remind the thousands of kcc readers
    that harley is right again. 10 months i wrote of the booming economy.
    and the old naysayers doubted me. Today…dow at 14,000 and headed
    to all time highs…harley predicted it…and harleys always riight.
    As far as glaze moving to tonykc.. i bellieve it was a terrible strategic
    move on hearnes part. What that did is bring hundreds/thousands of readrs
    over to tonys site. and in my opinion tonys site has some reall
    qualities…filling in the pieces of information that the other media never
    cover. I can see agregators like tonykc taking over when the star and other
    local papers fall apart. Like the drudge report for the white angry old
    Tony has some good stuff…and i think that maybe hearne needs to learn
    a lesson about the internet from tony…..tony’s going to grow his site..
    hearne needs a makeover…
    So fear not my friends and fans. harley is bakcin town ready to
    provide the most accurate financial and political updates in the
    media today.
    oh..i’m not big into football bets…i love lewis…baltimore ravens
    take it all…
    and what are the 49ers thinking…bagging on gays when they’re
    playing in new orleans…thats like cutting down the lobsters
    when in boston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. harley says:

    just to clarify since my email has been getting some emails from
    readers of kcc.
    I am abig fan of kcc. I love reading hearnes stuff. Hearne has
    This canbe a huge website. I’m sure it does well for roger the
    plumber and his market of old women whoneed drain cleanings..
    and for guys like chuckles looking to express his anger
    about the new gun laws..
    but hearne needs to upgrade this…get some real interesintg writers..
    get some fresh blood…lefty was a nice start and the guy s got
    some really really funny stuff that could go big time.
    I’m hoping that as this site evolves hearne makes some changes
    that really blow it up interms of readers. He’s got a huge market
    of people wanting information about local places/people and
    hopefully he makesa few tweaks to the site.
    i wish the guy well…

  32. DSW-ESQ. says:

    Glazer’s talents are being wasted on Tony- Read the “King of Sting” in one sitting- a GREAT BOOK- bring back “DaGlaze!”

  33. Craig's Dad says:

    maybe if you spent this much time and effort you could figure out how to squeeze 4 more tables in your club. If you haven’t been there it is packed with tables like church on Easter sunday. Again seem like wasted effort, use this energy to properly decorate your club, it is not well decorated.
    Remember you are old! You have popcorn muscles, those are water muscles that roids provide. go get you some antler spray and pay for the pussy you get. Oh this does not make you a player, this just makes you a customer.

  34. Chris Lyon says:

    Alright Craig, I enjoy reading your stuff, but that outfit makes you look like a total d-bag.

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