Starbeams: How do I get my money back for all of this Livestrong crap?

oprahwinfreytomcruise-300x210Immediately after the interview with Lance Armstrong, Oprah tested negative for Metabolife.

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Lance is now blaming this whole doping thing on that Notre Dame football player.

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I guess it’s time for me to come clean about my relationship with Serena Williams.

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Facebook is adding a feature that allows users to make phone calls! OMG! How do I say LOL on the PHONE?

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Kriss-krossKris Kross are making a comeback. These days they JUMP, JUMP when their car backfires.

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The CEO of Whole Foods likened Obamacare to fascism. Then he convinced my wife to pay $10 for a turnip.

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A group of people are trying to keep the city from tearing down Kemper Arena and they seem a little out of touch.  For example, they want to rename it LiveSTRONG Arena.

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President Obama will host a kid’s inauguration Saturday.  The event will be free, but the children will pay trillions of dollars in the future.

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American Airlines finally changed the look of their airplanes.  The new planes will be painted white with a red, white and blue tail.  If you don’t like the new look, there will be a $50 charge.

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Kansas City based Burns & McDonnell ranked #18 on Fortune’s list of ‘Best Places to Work.’  They remind me of my first job, when I received burns at McDonald’s.

Kelly Urich hosts the morning show on The Point 99.7 FM

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12 Responses to Starbeams: How do I get my money back for all of this Livestrong crap?

  1. Mr G says:

    I was going to call you an idiot for writing this, because it’s so god awful. but I’ve already wasted too much of my life reading it.

  2. Photo Editor says:

    That’s Tom Cruise, not Lance Armstrong.

  3. legendaryhog says:

    Money back for Livestrong stuff you bought? Like the dollar for the yellow rubber bracelet? It was a dollar right?

  4. Craig Glaysure says:

    Sheryl Crow? Really? That was Lances claim to fame? Shes a 2 in my book! So, other than her, what has he really done? What kind of man wants to try to make you think hes an athlete for riding a bicycle? A bike? Maybe he has a bright future in NASCAR now. And he had to use pufoirmance inhancing drugs for that? I mean, I do to, I like a little advantage, but at least Im using them on hores and not riding my bike. Thats funny.

  5. KC Star can't publish the facts says:

    Great story today from the KC star but they left out some vital information on the currently at-large robber. Are they scared to report facts?

    http://tinyurl.com/ahfsufx

    let him know what he left out! @keithrobison on twitter.

  6. chuck says:

    As if the KC Star is gonna print the race of the perps on MLK Day.

    Gimme a break.

    No newspaper, when possible, will EVER say the perps are African American.

    http://www.examiner.com/article/star-ledger-admits-to-censoring-race-savage-post-concert-mob-attacks

  7. chuck says:

    By the way, the Obama joke was hilarious.

    🙂

  8. Morgan says:

    Funny stuff

Comments are closed.