Now let’s take a look at the dogs that made critiquing movies this past year a sometimes nauseating chore…
The BOW-WOWS, My BOTTOM OF THE BARREL Scraps of 2012:
# 1—Adam Sandler reached a new low this year with THAT’S MY BOY for which this once funny man dragged the likes of Andy Samberg into his mess.
# 2—By all rights Taylor Kitsch in BATTLESHIP should have hit an iceberg and sunk during the film’s first reel. It would’ve save all of us a lot of time and grief, not to mention the cost of the gas to get to the theater.
# 3—Speaking of Kitsch, take the movie JOHN CARTER. The tag line for this flop stated: “Lost in our world, found in another.” I don’t know about that but this costly disaster sure shook up Disney’s front office,
# 4—DREDD. Dreadful. Per the film’s tag line: “Judgement is coming.” It didn’t come soon enough for me.
# 5—WANDERLUST. Universal gave birth to this Paul Rudd/Jennifer Aniston turkey, first slated for a 2011 release but pulled before its initial run at the last minute. My take? They should’ve filmed additional footage—then shelved it forever.
# 6—Sacha Baron Cohen keeps on trying but fell short with THE DICTATOR taking it totally over the top and out into far left field. Sorry Sach, time to change the tune.
# 7—Pay it forward. Pay it backward. In CLOUD ATLAS everything is connected—except for me and the millions of moviegoers who stayed away in droves. (Note to Tom Hanks: It’s been a long so-so stretch. Maybe it’s time to reconsider future projects.)
# 8—THE WATCH which underwent a title change from its original NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH moniker following Florida’s infamous hoodie killing.
Which didn’t help the Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill comedy no matter which title was attached.
# 9—WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING. Obviously not much as proven out here by the likes of Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Dennis Quaid and Chris Rock. Just a awful chick flick.
# 10—The Dax Shepard project known as HIT AND RUN. He wrote it, directed it and co-starred with squeeze Kristen Bell, Tom Arnold and Bradley Cooper. Wisely Cooper stayed away from publicizing it.
First Runner Up Bonus Title: ALEX CROSS with Tyler Perry as the homicide detective title character. Where was Madea when we needed her?
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And as I always close these annual lists I ask you to: “Just keep repeating, it’s only a movie. Only a movie. Only a movie. Take as much as you can!”
Happy New Year Everyone!
Trying to have it both ways?
Didn’t you Give The Dictator 3/5 stars on May 15?
I remember because I said that the only person that finds SBC funny anymore is movie reviewers.
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balbonis moleskine says:
May 15, 2012 at 11:00 pm
What happened to Anna Faris? She used to be hot in her Smiley Face/Observe and Report days!
The only people who find Latka funny nowadays seem to be movie reviewers. We get it, you have a foreign accent and people don’t know how to react to you because you are so stupid/insulting/weird. Yeah, yeah, real window into the American soul. 4 movies, one premise.
At least Sandler makes movies where there are different premises, no matter how half-cocked they are.