Tag Archives: Tony Botello
Tony: What Does Keeping Backyard Chickens Say About You?
The term "chicken lover" probably doesn’t evoke a positive mental image.
However, keeping backyard chickens in Kansas City is an activity that’s undergoing a bit of a Renaissance. For extremists, backyard chickens are a way to really go all out with the "urban farming" trend. Also, backyard chickens are the trendy new pet in much the same way that weirdos used to love pot-bellied pigs.
Maybe backyard chickens don’t deserve an extensive analysis but I’ve always wondered about people who would make their backyard a more delicious place in an urban environment.
Tony: Deconstructing CATS at Kansas City
Last night was the first time I had ever seen the Broadway Musical Cats and I was overwhelmed with the artistry, music, costumes and dance of the production playing through Sunday at Kansas City’s Music Hall.
Seriously, this is a show that EVERYONE and ANYONE must see in order to attain at least a cursory knowledge of the fine arts in popular culture around the world today. Despite the fact that I had never seen the musical; the archetypes already seemed familiar and the triumphant score of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s masterwork rang true and spoke to my senses of sight and sound.
Tony: Groupon Gets (Somewhat) Intimate With Brazilian
Like most things on the Internet, Groupon is a slightly ingenious idea surrounded mostly by a lot of hype.
However, a look at their latest offer reveals that the irrational exuberance of a somewhat decent online idea will at least improve the appearance of hairy, local ladies
And maybe that’s all the progress we deserve.
To wit, let’s go through this latest, slightly embarrassing advert line by line in order to see EXACTLY how local discounts online will keep local ladies looking good despite the fact that I thought they were talking about a bikini wax and not a somewhat controversial hair treatment.
Tony: The Tea Party Can’t Resurrect A Dead Shopping Mall
With so much lame election excitement it was nice to get a look at the real world last night and see that the long downward spiral of the American Dream didn’t start with The Black President and won’t be fixed by Angry Teabagging Seniors.
The fail of consumer culture became evident to me last night as I walked through Metro North Mall a little bit after 7 in the PM with very few souls or stores accompanying my visit.
It’s a nice little microcosm of corporate futility but a few things became clear to me during my brisk walk in this shopping sarcophagus.
Tony: Moving Beyond Blogging @ KCC
I don’t like change. Nevertheless, this digital life that we’ve chosen involves all kinds of upheaval and this new look and KICKASS content management system is part of the evolution of Kansas City Confidential. In a slightly smaller sense, this kind of shakeup is very much like Facebook turning into a Twitter clone with the ensuing complaints that are now long forgotten. And while I’m sure there are many things about which finicky readers might complain, I wonder: Will people really notice the difference between a website and a blog?
Tony: Local Suckers Always Chasing The Carrot
In much the same way that a man can never have too much money or a woman can never be too good looking — this town is always looking for the final piece of a development puzzle that will make us as good as Denver. I don’t mind offering yet another reality check: It’s never going to happen. Nevertheless, locals are always waiting for the next scheme to make Kansas City complete and a major league city. Sadly, geography and our overall legacy of mediocrity and good old-fashioned racism assure our perennial place as a 3rd rate town. Allow me to explain.
Tony: Sprint Center Success Only Highlights P&L District FAIL
River City has always been nothing more than a collection of not-so-complex contradictions.
We lament local violence and homicide and mark the tragedy of white people fallen victim to crime but then ignore so much death among people of color. We long for a government that works for “regular folks” when, in fact, the whole system is predicated on nothing less than keeping special interests happy. And worst of all, low self-esteem irrational exuberance regarding development by a cozy small town that’s remarkably different and some would say smarter than big city competitors and their expensive toys.
And all of this preamble is simply an effort to set the stage for a grand conclusion staring everyone right in the face: This town’s big gamble on the Downtown Renaissance never really paid off. Kansas City’s last big, shot at being a major league city met with remarkable failure.
So, we’re pretty much a horribly more violent and dangerous version of Omaha for the forseeable future.
Don’t worry, I have proof of this assertion.
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Tony: This Town Is Anything But Smart With The Money
During local political campaigns so many hopefuls for elected office attempt to pander to typically Midwestern cost conscious values without ever following through on their rhetoric.
Like it or not, this town was built by rich, racist white guys with deplorable values but the keen ability to turn a buck.
Now more than ever, KC and even the suburbanite leaches that surround the area would like to blame the Black President for all of their problems but fail to see their own complicity.
Let’s look at just a few recent examples which clearly demonstrate that people in the metro don’t need any help from Washington D.C. when it comes to throwing away their money.
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Tony: Bracing For The Wave Of Tea Party Stupidity
Less than two weeks and TV News will be slightly more bearable to watch.
For now, we’re mired in the current wave of election pandering, fear mongering and phony trends. Sadly, very few people realize that nearly identical politicos in this two party system are simply trading chairs because of macroeconomic trends that dictate the course of our lives far more than anyone wants to realize.
Nevertheless, it’s important to take pause and realize that things really aren’t changing despite the blathering of so many political talking heads.
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Tony: The Star Moves Closer To Becoming A Non-Profit
A big money award is probably a good thing but still might signal the end of an era for Kansas City’s so-called paper of record.
Recently, the Kansas City Star Continue reading
Tony: Kansas City Running On Empty
It’s worth noting that The Kansas City Marathon took place this weekend.
Our cowtown version of a marathon is a minor event that doesn’t even rank on most competitive racing schedules but locals would do well to mark the date in order to avoid getting caught up in the monster traffic jam created by local joggers. I normally sleep through the whole thing but there have been a few times that frustrated middle-managers have wasted my time in traffic while they pound city streets in search of their self-esteem.
So beware of this 3rd rate contest that’s mostly about catering to the ego of locals running away from the miserable reality of their lives.
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Tony: Ready, Aim, Fire! Lazarus Group Puddin’ Cannon Ignites Party Frenzy
We would be remiss if we didn’t give a nod to a rather tasty publicity stunt devised by The Lazarus Group.
The shindig was obviously a clear success and a hot mess all at the same time.
Internet guru Lazarus Potter not only put together a great crowd but also a deliciously inventive dessert cannon to fire at guests in his First Annual Puddin’ on the Ritz event. Co-workers, clients and friends came out dressed in everything from swimsuits to formal gear and equipped with safety glasses for the puddin’ flinging party.
I could kick myself for missing the affair but thankfully my beloved Internet has allowed me to experience the good time without needing a change of clothes.
Check out some choice descriptions of the party along with a bit more detail:
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Tony: JoCo Crime Is Just A Little Bit Scarier
I won’t waste time complaining about the Continue reading
Tony: What Do Wedding Bells Mean for Jene
It is my sad duty to report that KCC tipsters are hearing wedding bells for Jene Continue reading
Tony: The Chiefs Might Be For Real IF They Win This Week
The most fastidious approach to every imaginable scheme hatched in Kansas City is strident skepticism.
Why? Because Kansas City is such an obnoxiously polite place that we’ll gladly drown in blood and sewage rather than risk being rude. This tragic character flaw defines our current political predicament, financial situation and crime problems. Therefore, any cheering for the Chiefs over the near decade they’ve been out of the playoffs has been greeted by me with nothing but scorn.
But there’s a hint that things might be changing.
Again, I’m EXTREMELY skeptical, but I’ll entertain a thought that the team’s recent good fortune has been nothing less than a happy accident.
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Tony: Political Donations Aren’t Worth It Anymore
On my way home through downtown Kansas City streets I often encounter homeless people whom I like to call “hobos”…
And they always have a good story and constant requests for a few dollars. Depending on my mood and my financial fortunes that particular week I might give them some spare change despite the fact that I know just about everything coming out of their mouth is a lie.
In the era of the lingering Great Recession, people should think about political donations in much the same way. Continue reading
Tony: Fight For a Man’s Rights in MOvember!!!
Of course everyone should do their best to maintain good health and there are a great many public awareness campaigns that remind us of that.
Nevertheless, because of historic discrimination, a lot of women’s health issues are presented as a Civil Rights struggle and exclude men. Certainly, I want to get in on lovingly screening women’s boobs and making them feel safe.
But let’s be honest, so much of the Breast Cancer and various women’s health propaganda is so “pink” – and seemingly man-hating – that it’s like a lost episode of Oprah and causes men to dangerously tune out ALL public health information. That’s not a good thing because Men’s health screening is every bit as important.
Finally, I’ve discovered a bit of an answer to this phenomenon:
Movember is a rather fun and AWESOME public health information campaign geared toward guys. Finally, it’s nice to see an effort that realizes men need to take care of themselves as well. Let’s check it out:
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Tony: It’s Important To Follow The Rules of “Bully” Blogging
The subject of “bully” blogging has resurfaced in the media…
And it’s nice to see that blogs are still the best place to bash the opposition, given that it’s so easy to hide, un-follow, de-friend or simply ignore disagreeable people on social networks. On the other hand, thanks to Google, those pesky search results still garner attention for all those who talk smack online despite the fact that recent internet trends suggest folks would still like to substitute Facebook for the Internet.
Nevertheless, Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell attacking Chris Armstrong, who is the first openly gay student body president at The University of Michigan, offers an interesting test case, Especially when it comes to the state of Internet Free Speech amid a contentious political landscape. What’s interesting in this case is that a politico was able to bend “rules” that have protected political attacks in the blogosphere in the short lifespan this type of discourse has existed.
Let’s take a look:
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Tony: American Royal BBQ Hosts Foodies and Hipsters for a Good Cause
In Kansas City, the only thing better than helping other people is stuffing your face with BBQ and hanging out with all of the Kansas City cool people.
Thankfully, I’m here to tell you that you can do both.
As the coolest people in this Cowtown grow a bit older and gain some semblance of social responsibility it’s nice to see that they have a new spin on public service that involves good times and a bit of networking in addition to supporting a good cause. Not so long ago, helping out in the community was always a drab affair that involved broken down meeting spots and thankless hours spent in somewhat dangerous locations. Thankfully, the new local school of social consciousness involves activities that are both rewarding and pretty fun. Today’s example:
FOWL PLAY presents DEAD POULTRY SOCIETY at American Royal BBQ at Kemper Arena
Let’s take a look at how this event helps the party people of Kansas City support a good cause:
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Tony: A Peek at the Soggy Plaza Art Fair
Because I’m all about culture I decided to spend a few minutes at this year’s Plaza Art Fair.
The event features what is probably Kansas City’s biggest collection of drunken middle-aged ladies this side of a Nordstrom’s sale. So, I’m inviting you d-bags to come along with me and take a quick look at the gathering as I saw it. Without listing any of the pointless stats about a lighter than usual crowd because of the rain or meaningless artist’s names. Sure, I know the first painting featured belongs to Mike Savage and Sav.Art but I’m guessing that the rest of the aspiring artists at the place aren’t as successful and the whole affair is mostly about people-watching and pretending not to notice the distinct scent of pot in the air.
Anyhoo, the smaller crowd and surprisingly cold weather made for a good time. Also, cheaper than usual Boulevard Wheat ($4) made hanging with so many lawyers and housewives that much more tolerable. Take a look . . . Continue reading
