Tag Archives: Tony Botello

Tony: Kansas City’s Coldest Winter & the Frozen Baby

The Winter months have been a horrible low point in this town’s recent history. And not just because the sun was more effective at removing snow than city services in the urban core.

The novelty of the new year’s worn off. We’re closing in on city elections. And we’re at that glorious time of the year when pro-sports isn’t really important and we aren’t out of the running yet for the upcoming baseball season.

Still, at this moment a dead baby found frozen in the back of a pickup truck offers a perfect metaphor for the state of our city.

Allow me to explain.

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Tony: Kansas City’s Fake Crown Jewel

They’re calling The Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts – "Kansas City’s Crown Jewel," which is only fitting if we’re talking about a blood diamond.

Keynesian economics be damned, there are a great many reasons why this project is doomed to be just another failure from this town’s monied-class for which the rest of The City will have to pay.

Everybody loves something shiny but the financial reality is that this bit of costume jewelry is more like an albatross around the neck of more organic local development.  Rather than cheerlead, let’s look at the Kaufmann PAC skeptically since no other media outlet seems to be up to that task.

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Tony: Fixing KCC Comments For Good. Again.

The greatest achievement of the Internet has been the ability for malcontents from every walk of life to share their complaints with the world.

Realizing this fact of life has been a slow and steady process for some of the crew here at KCC.

But as of now things are running full steam ahead.

Of course, you d-bags could have solved your own problems if late-adoptor readers ran a decent browser or knew how to ENABLE JAVASCRIPT when an online menu is acting wonky. Sadly, expecting even a modicum of Internet skill from online crybabies is far too much to ask.

So, KCC’s Kick-Ass tech department at The Lazarus Group is making comments dummy-proof and more accessible for anony idiots.

This giant leap forward came after a philosophical debate regarding user feedback. Here’s a bit of background on that topic:

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Tony: Don’t Forget About Killing Across The State Line

Every few days, somebody dies a violent death in the Kansas City area. And for the most part that murder takes place on the Eastside of KCMO.

However, it’s worth noting that KCK is a much smaller community but still manages to keep up with the homicide rate across the State Line. The smaller size and tax base in KCK means that they aren’t well equipped to deal with the horrible toll that so many homicides take on a community.

A group of academics at Iowa State estimate the cost of homicides at $17.25 million for every murder. So the death toll quickly adds up.

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Tony: One More Kansas City Snow Day

In this modern age of near digital miracles there’s no longer a need to even look out the window in order to see that it’s snowing.

There’s a near avalanche of weather news in the mainstream media – TV Newscasts and Radio reports of every aspect of the snow.

Already I’ve seen cars sliding on the roads and, of course, the roads to the suburbs looking pretty much like a parking lot. The sea of red brake lights looks ominous coming through the HD television screen. However, few television journalists note that these people deserve every bit of the hardship that comes with suburban life, given their decision to live as far away from people of color as possible.

Makes me think they’re scumbags.

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Tony: The Star Stops Covering Daily Local Politics And Nobody Cares

There’s been an interesting move by the so-called paper-of-record online that signals an end of an era recently.

The Kansas City Star is scaling back their daily political coverage to an unprecedented degree.

The story of The Star’s "Prime Buzz" is a parable that spells out the doom of the dead tree media in the digital era.

Let’s take a look at their ongoing FAIL, shall we?

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Tony: Top 5 Photographers Online In This Town

During this digital age of transformation in local media some things are staying the same.

Sure, the tools to create amazing images are at the fingertips of almost everyone for just a few hundred bucks. However, few people really take advantage of any tech beyond a snapshot and a post to their Facebook gallery.

So, while technology and the Internet offer great potential to aspiring local photographers, only a few have risen to the top.

Let’s take a look at their work:

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Tony: Clay Chastain Is A Real Outsider Politico

It’s far too cliché to simply wish that Clay Chastain go away.

Think about this: Not even the current (and outgoing) Mayor could win a light rail election. But Clay did. And then it was overturned because the plan supposedly wasn’t feasible.

Like it or not he was instrumental in the development or at least the inspiration to get Union Station going. And in the current political and economic climate, his name recognition is a lot better than more mainstream Kansas City Democrats.

Still, without status in either political party and pockets not deep enough to make a serious election effort. Chastain remains an outsider and now the City Attorney says he can’t even run as a write-in candidate.

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Tony: The Star Promotes A Cavalcade Of Crappy Local Songs

 

It’s a simple matter of fact that most songs about this town suck.

For now and ever more Wilbert Harrison’s rendition of Kansas City will define this town not only because it was a number one hit that garnered mainstream success but also because the year it hit the charts (1959) was really the last time anyone cared about this po’dunk place.

Sadly, the Kansas City Star FYI section’s recent song contest was not only pointless, it just might affirm my argument. Take a look:

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Tony: Tips For Enduring A Local Snow Day

There’s less than seven inches of snow on the ground and this city has come to a virtual standstill.

The mainstream media is reporting NOTHING but the snowfall with footage of the rare snowplow making its way through Kansas City streets.

Because readers of this Web site aren’t children, I don’t think we need be concerned with the best places for sledding tomorrow – Suicide Hill in Brookside to be certain.

In fact, there’s a much more cynical way to look at this recent snowfall.

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Tony: The Fight For Facebook Gross Out Rights

There were two great victories for the Internet this week. One real and one imagined.

For starters we learned that taking a photo of a placenta won’t get you kicked out of nursing school

This is important because the right to be disgusting is part of the great freedom the Internet offers. Even better, Goldman Sachs investment in Facebook will lead to an IPO and inevitably the end of the hype involving the company that’s already being described as a ponzi scheme.

Again, this is good for the Internet. Let me, quickly, explain why:

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Tony: Brass Ring Might be Disappointment for Former KC Newsie Ortega

The great thing about our small, local media market is that it makes a fine starting point.

A bevy of national media figures have "made their bones" right here in the heart of the Midwest and KC always lays claim to their career fast track as a method for the town to feel better about being left behind.

Still, the face of journalism has changed in this digital era and even the Alternative press now faces challenges from independent websites and blogs.

Former Kansas City Pitch Editor Tony Ortega’s career path comes to mind when thinking of the new media landscape vs. the old school alternative press. Let’s take a look:

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Tony: Local Fortune Cookie Guy Fail

Let me start out by being supportive…

There’s this guy in town who’s going to live one year of his life following the advice of fortune cookies.

He’s been the subject of a few TV news stories and he even has a blog entitled: My Daily Fortune.

I’ve heard of worse gimmicks and the whole thing certainly sounds more marketable than that one hooker who was going to trade sex for World Series Tickets a couple of years ago.

On the other hand, I’m not sure I get it.

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Tony: New Year’s Resolutions For This Town

 

Already this New Year I’ve broken all of my promises to myself so I guess it’s time to start making commitments for other people.

To wit, I’ve developed some New Year’s resolutions for all of this town so that we don’t keep repeating our failure.

Let’s take a look at my mandates for change and realize that the most accurate and biting criticism comes out of love:

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Tony: Jason Whitlock Defines 2010

Sure, this was an eventful year but I’ve found the one Internet video clip that defines this the year than this town more than anything else.

Of course it’s Jason Whitlock and his faux media controversy.

The "big time" writer left the best gig of his life and cried about it on sports radio and cable for all of Kansas City to see and hear. And his soliloquy during the final epoch of print media wasn’t even the best part

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Tony: The Coldest Crime Of The Year

A recent gas station murder clearly demonstrates that Kansas City Proper is so far gone that not even hopeful election cycle talk is going to help much.

This year-end crime gets to the heart of the cowtown crime problem. It’s not a question of socio-economics, disparity or even drugs and gangs.

In the end, this week’s gas station murder shows us that in the most violent sections of Kansas City there just isn’t any respect for life.

The jaw dropping detail to back up this statement: In The Aftermath Of Recent Gas Station Killing A Customer Stepped Over Dead Clerk To Steal From Store

Think about that for a second.

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Tony: Tragic X-mas Cheerleading From The Star’s Top Man

I was infinitely disappointed to see Mark Zieman use the occasion of Christmas to brazenly cheerlead for his dead tree media employer.

Of course end of the year holidays call for a bit of reflection but Zieman’s over-the-top, self-important screed seemed disingenuous.

While no one can argue that The Star hasn’t been an important part in this town’s history, Zieman didn’t really address the modern day complaint of bias and a lack of community interaction with the corporate media source.

For instance, there was no word of Zieman’s allegedly drunken wife Rhonda driving on local roads amid all his tales of heroic star muckraking over the years.

It gets worse.

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Tony: All The Stuff I Didn’t Get For X-mas

I’m writing this as a followup to the silent night and big morning when children and adults delude themselves on the subject of something besides the real estate market.

Accordingly, since we’ve all been engaging in a bit of make believe recently, I thought it would be appropriate to criticize my bounty of holiday gifts like any good man-child.

Let’s take a look at my holiday wishlist and see how I did:

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Tony: Kill Your Lights For Christmas

Driving around this city for the holidays I notice that there’s more than enough hypocrisy to go around.

However, one bit of holiday tradition strikes me as exceedingly wasteful and pointless.

To be blunt, Christmas lights are killing the planet.

This needless waste of energy is a throwback to the 1950s. And it doesn’t make sense in a world where China and India are driving up demand for precious fossil fuel resources that continue to increase in price, cause pollution and destabilize the Middle East.

And don’t give me that crap about LED lights saving a few pennies, there’s just no way to get around the wastefulness of this horrible holiday tradition. In fact, this thought got me thinking about a great many horrible holiday traditions. Check it:

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Tony: The Anatomy Of A Good KC Political Hit Piece

Don’t get too caught up in all of this holiday cheer. Currently, we’re in the nastiest part of Kansas City’s election season.

Long ago, Boss Tom Pendergast help put Kansas City’s elections in the coldest months of the year because he didn’t really like a lot of people voting. Also, the graveyard vote doesn’t complain about temperatures.

The legacy of that astute political move puts modern day City and Mayoral campaigns right in the middle of the holiday season. This is always hilarious because it forces people to pretend to be nice while slinging some really nasty rumors on background.

Nevertheless, not all political attacks are equal, so I’ve provided a quick guide to some of the most effective political strategies currently at play in the local political scene. Check it:

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