Look, I don’t know where Craig Glazer is and you don’t know where Glazer is, and maybe that’s just the way things are going to be. (You know, unless you believe D.S. Whinery’s awfully fishy sounding piece from earlier.)
The last I heard from him, he was leaving me a choppy, frantic sounding voicemail, and all I could really make out was something about the Brooklyn Dodgers, space aliens, Totino’s frozen “Party Pizzas,” and a dead Panamanian hooker in the trunk of his rented Ford Festiva. It cut off abruptly, and, because he has a habit of calling from throwaway, Cricket Wireless phones, I was unable to call him back.
Circle of life, I suppose.
And while whether or not his 25 weekly contributions to the site will be missed seems to be a hotly debated topic, there is no debating Craig Glazer’s greatest contribution to the entirety of the internet: his football picks.
If you happened to perchance across anything he had written in the last five months or so, you’ll know unequivocally that he is the greatest gambler in the history sports betting. On the season– before his secret and sudden departure– he had gone somewhere in the neighborhood of 130-10. And because he was fond of “teasing” his bets (whatever that means), he had ACTUALLY gone a perfect 225-0.
As Craig himself would so eloquently articulate, “suck it, haters… Lotus… stripper tits.” Continue reading