Author Archives: Kelly Urich

Star beams: Traffic Cone Capital, YRC CEO Pay & Mark Hamill

Kansas City ranks #2 nationwide in Glassdoor’s survey of best places to find a job.  The survey was conducted among people who enjoy placing orange traffic cones.                           … Continue reading

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Starbeams: ‘Sexting’ Scandal, Tom Brady & Ask Jeeves

John Diehl is stepping down as Missouri’s Speaker of the House after an embarrassing sexting scandal.  He is officially #unemployed and #douche.                                   ******* … Continue reading

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Starbeams: ‘No Means Bud,’ Royal Bonkings, Chiefs Feeling a Draft

Budweiser says it “Missed the mark” when labeling its ad campaign with “The perfect beer for removing the word NO from your vocabulary.” Maybe they really are unfiltered?                             … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Next Up @ The K, Fossilized Dinosaur Eggs Anyone?

Construction workers in China dug up 42 fossilized dinosaur eggs.  They’re being carefully removed and shipped to a breakfast buffet at Kauffman Stadium.                                   … Continue reading

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Star beams: Kelly Urich Returns With a Vengeance

Remember when the only reason April baseball was exciting if you made it through the month without having your favorite player traded?       ******* Remember when the Royals only got runs when they ate too much dairy?   … Continue reading

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Star beams: Fifty Shades of Kelly, Brian Williams Chopper Hopper & Upton Girl

I told my wife I wanted to work on some “Fifty Shades of Grey” stuff and she handed me my laundry. ******* My love life is a lot less like “Fifty Shades” and a lot more like “The Slap.” ******* … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Brian Williams Grammy, James Shields a Padre & Inhaling Chocolate

Another year without a Grammy tribute to Rick Astley…I give up.                                               ******* NBC News Brian Williams just … Continue reading

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Star beams: Cosby, Anyone? Lululemon Alert

You know it’s going to be a long Super Bowl party when the bartender is Bill Cosby.                                               … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Sprint’s Super Bowl Apology, KC Streetcars & Kelly’s Dog

Overland Park based Sprint will return to the Super Bowl with an ad that will run during the 3rd quarter. If Sprint wants to get really popular, they need to invent the UNSEND MY TEXT service.         … Continue reading

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Star beams: Tom Brady Hot Air, Billy Wear & Drone Gate

A locker room attendant is a person of interest in the Deflate Gate controversy.  The guy says he thinks the media is blowing this way under proportion. ******* New England quarterback Tom Brady‘s kids say they’re afraid to play in … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Smoke Em If You Got Em, Sprint, Google, Lawrence & JC Penney

What a great year for people in Seattle to celebrate getting another BOWL!                                                       … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Hallmark’s R-Rated Crayons, Emanuel Cleaver Broke & Peyton’s Retirement

A weekend hacking incident involving its Facebook page has Crayola apologizing to upset kids and parents.  Hackers took control of the company’s social media web page and posted dozens of links to R-rated sites along with sexual jokes.  Crayola is … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Mad Bum, Frack ‘Em, Red Light Refund & Shuttlecock Love

I can’t tell if I’m shaking because of the temperature or the FRACKING EARTHQUAKES.                                                     … Continue reading

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Star beams: UPS Drivers Top Alex Smith, Chiefs Put Out Call to Sung Woo Lee & Hillary Alerts

Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith has what my wife calls the “Kelly Urich Syndrome.”  He has trouble going deep.                                ******* Why is it the Chiefs can’t … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Kathie Lee Fingers Cosby, Sprint-NASCAR Divorce, New AMC Movie Deal

Kathie Lee Gifford says Bill Cosby once tried to kiss her.  I’m going to defend Bill on this one.  HE must have been drunk.                                 … Continue reading

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Star beams: ‘Spirit in the Sky’ Day, Cheap Gas & a Tale of Two Bills

Royals designated hitter Billy Butler accepted an offer from the Oakland A’s.  He’ll be selling hot dogs in section 320.                                         … Continue reading

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Starbeams: iPhones in Iran, Chiefs in London, Meth in Church

Clark Hunt admits the Chiefs game in London next year goes a long way toward hosting a Super Bowl at Arrowhead.  But no matter how many games they play in London, they’ll never be Royals.             … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Botched Anthem, Rob Lowe, Steve Perry & Kristen Stewart

Hey Aaron Lewis!  I’m watching a movie on Netflix and it’s so gallantly streaming!                   ******* The Earth’s magnetic field may flip in the next 50 years.  Scientists say it should coincide … Continue reading

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Star beams: Kansas City & San Francisco Are the Same

San Francisco and Kansas City are basically the same city. They have the Golden Gate Bridge.  We have the Kit Bond Bridge. They have Alcatraz, we have Leavenworth. They have Steve Perry.  We have Perry Lake. They have Rice-A-Roni.  We … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Christopher Columbus, Christopher Elbow, Joe Montana

Happy Christopher Columbus Day.  Time to party like it’s 1499!                                            ******* I’m hoping the Royals play the Giants so … Continue reading

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