-The game will be terrible because theoretically, it SHOULD be a pretty evenly matched contest between two really good teams and these games never happen the way they’re supposed to.
-There will be commercials that people will talk about the next day at work, and you’ll pretend to remember them but you won’t on account of how drunk you were.
-You’ll repeatedly wonder how it came to be that you’re THIS drunk at 6:30PM when you’re not vacationing at the lake. You’ll remark on this more than once, and by the third time, someone will point out that, “dude, you’ve already said that” and you’ll sulk.
-Some idiot at the party you’re attending will make at least three (3) “jokes” pining for a “wardrobe malfunction” involving this year’s halftime performer Katy Perry. (And it’s not that we all wouldn’t mind seeing it; it’s that his attempts at being clever will fail miserably.)
The most important thing is the football, of course, but a close second are food and drinks. So, submitted for your approval, here’s a list of Super Bowl Party Foods, ranked from last to first. If you’re hosting a party, please use this list as a guideline; if you’re attending someone else’s party, please forward this list to them and demand that they follow it. Continue reading