Eberhart: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut …
All right, I may be crazy, and I’m certainly a bit hungover, but after a night of bar-hopping into the wee hours today, I’ve decided I know which Kansas City establishment is attracting the most beautiful women.
Is it in Westport? No. Plaza? No. A bit further north, at Martini Corner? No, although I must admit the Velvet Dog drew its share this weekend. How about Power & Light? No, but close.
It’s the Cashew.
And I don’t know if I get it.
I mean, I do like the place. The food is … well, it’s good enough. The wine list is adequate, and the bar service is excellent, thanks to staffers like Bonnie — who, come to think of it, is as hot as any of the clientele.
But none of that explains why a place that sits in a sort of Downtown No-Man’s-Land has become downright babealicious. The Cashew is at 20th and Grand. It’s south of Power & Light. It’s not really in the Crossroads, though it’s close enough, I guess. It’s not in Crown Center; it’s not anywhere, really.
This isn’t based on just one visit, either; I’ve been in several times in the last few weeks, and on weekends, at least, Saturday nights especially, the place seems jammed to the rafters with fresh apples.
Now boys, before you go motoring downtown, please note I didn’t say all the women who frequent this place show up unattached. However, I have gleaned that not all of them are, shall we say, happy with the fellows they’re supposed to be happy with. I managed to discover this, too, without getting punched in the snoot.
So on to my theories of why the Cashew has become this kind of magnet:
1. It’s the lofts that have sprung up in the area. Maybe.
2. It’s working BECAUSE it’s not in any identifiable district, and people like to make their own discoveries. Hmm …
3. It’s the overhead doors.
I’m going to have to go with Door Number 3.
We men always have to remember that it’s not about us. And I think this Cashew thing is about Being Seen.
When the Cashew’s big garage-looking doors are up, the whole place is open. The feeling is pretty relaxed, the atmosphere literally is atmosphere. The weather last night — unseasonably cool for July, but not so cool that very short skirts were not an option — was perfect.
There’s my report. Feel free to offer other theories. Now I must go off and sulk, knowing that I’ve probably ruined a fine, fine thing. Next time I show up there, the ratio of men to women probably will be three to one.
Shame on me.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
What an enlightening report on trolling for babes at bars in the wee hours! And I bet that bartender is really flattered by your description of her. You might even score!
I’m so glad I read this.
July 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Heck John, not only do I think I’ll have to go check out the Cashew some time, I think you just became my favorite writer on this website after reading your response to Violet Burns’ comment.
July 19th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I think reasons #1 and #3 are partially responsible. You get some young $$ coming over from the lofts; plus it’s close enough to xroads that it brings in ladies; and let’s get serious; art = chicks. Long live first fridays.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
JME: The Cashew is THE place for babes as opposed to bimbos. Have encountered women there who are beautiful, charming and intelligent. Sorry for your loss. I can tell from your comments that you had a special lady.
July 20th, 2009 at 9:02 am
whats the best night and time to meet all these
hotties? I personally like sullivans on thursday nites. the first shift 5pm-8:30pm is nothing
but hot married chicks looking for action.
Second shift is 8:30-11pm is the single/pro/
hot sexy joco gold diggers looking for money.
Yahoooooo!
July 20th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Jojo, the women at the Cashew are looking for physical AND cerebral stimulation. It’s not all about the benjamins. Most that I have met seem to be able to take care of themselves financially. Thus thru Sat from 11:00 pm on seems to be a good time. Like Cindy Lauper said…”Girls just wanna have fun.”
July 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
I have a feeling that widowerhood is going to be the excuse JME uses in response to any and all criticism for the next 30 years.
July 20th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
While the rest of you guys will now flock to the Cashew, I’ll take up a stool at Sol Cantina and take my chances with the eye candy there (after 11pm, that is.)
July 20th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Just a note that the above is not this Rick. Their is apparently 2 Rick’s on this blog. I work way to much to be not be in bed by 11. My love life consists of the women of TMZ at 10:30 on Fox 4.
July 20th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Too-shay! From now on, I’ll comment as Rick M.
BTW, I also work hard, but try to squeeze in a social life when the opportunity’s there.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:35 am
Funny thing. My last name also begins with a M. You sure we’re not the same person but just with multiply personalities. It sounds like you are having more fun then me though. Let’s hope you are a young guy. I’m preparing for my 30th high school reunion so pushing 50. Later.