KC Confidential.com

Don’t happen to live in Mission Hills, Kansas or on Sunset Hill in Missouri?

Not to worry.

While you may not enjoy enjoy the fruits of a seven figure income and editor Carol Rose’s Hills magazine, you’ve come to the right place to check out my contributions to the current December issue. Starting with a last minute holiday gift – a new set of affordable wheels – that will make you deliriously happy when gas goes back up to $4 and on to $5 and $10 a gallon. Enjoy.

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Looking for the holiday toy that keeps on giving?

Try a 2009 smart fortwo automobile. Available now locally in six snappy colors at Aristocrat Motors and the spanking new smart Center Kansas City.

Gift wrapping not included.

Think of it as the thinking person’s toy car – and with safety features galore, it’s no toy. Standard equipment includes tons of cachet, killer gas mileage – 33 City, 40 Highway – plus it’s a rolling automotive attention grabber. Up until this year people plunked down deposits and waited up to a year to get smart.

Now you can wrap one up, slide it next to – but not under – the holiday tree of your choice with little to no wait.

Thanks, of course, to the fact that $4 gas is but a distant memory. As is $3 gas.  And, as we all know, the economy’s tanking and the ensuing woe unto us all.

So yes, you can actually get your holiday mitts on even the ultra-rare, limited edition Brabus mode. Hey and go ahead splurge – rent a shopping center Santa and do it right. No problem.

Morph you wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, son and/or daughter into a celebrity smart owner like Washington, D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty, singer/songwriter John Legend and/or what remains of Donny Osmond.

“We like to say all of our customers are celebrities,” quips Ken Kettenbeil, smart USA’s director of communications.

As for the Brabus Edition smart fortwo, “We had a limited allocation of the Brabus to the United States and sold out of that model in 8 hours,” Kettenbeil says. But additional inventory has been procured and even a stock smart can be outfitted with Brabus gear, he notes.

“The main difference is the Brabus has a more athletic and sporting look with skirting on the front, sides and back of the vehicle,” Kettenbeil says. “It has a lower suspension and 17 inch wheels and it comes in only black and silver with the double-B badging on the gas tank, grill and back of the vehicle.”

Oh and it’s loaded…

A Brabus coupe lists for $17,990, with the Brabus cabriolet at $20,990.

The typical smart fortwo owner ranges in age from 16 to 93, Kettenbeil says.

No kidding, 93?

“We had one guy and his wife, who is 88, buy one,” Kettenbeil says. “They live in the San Francisco Bay area. His niece emailed me and was wondering if he was the oldest person to drive a smart fortwo. And I told her I don’t know if he’s the oldest but he’s certainly up there.”

Kettenbeil’s wildest smart fortwo story:

“A smart was involved in one of those Southern California, high-speed police chases in real life and it was filmed by a traffic helicopter. The smart was driving along at a pretty good clip, and one of the questions we get asked is, ‘Can you take it on the highway?’ And that police chase proved you can take it on the freeway and you can break the speed limits there, if you choose.”

Which brings us to the concept of holiday gifting…

“We’ve been aware from dealers that smarts have been purchased for children that turn 16 and this is their first car,” Kettenbeil says. “And we’ve been featured in a lot of gift guides for the person who has everything. You know, it’s manufactured by Mercedes-Benz, and for some people it’s a way to put a Mercedes in the driveway for a little over $15,000 for the midrange model.”

Kettenbeil’s wildest smart holiday gifting tale concerns an individual in Houston, Texas “who apparently had a really large house and he wanted us to remove the back doors so he could put the vehicle by the family Christmas tree last year so it would be there when his wife woke up,” Kettenbeil says. “And he wanted to negotiate for smart USA to pay for the removal of the door and then to put it back on.

And, and?

“We declined, we felt it was up to him to get the car in his house,” Kettenbeil says. “It clearly was a great idea, but when you start getting into remodeling someone’s home there’s (too much) risk associated with that.”

Not that your friendly, neighborhood smart dealers won’t lend a helping holiday hand.

“We’ve loaned a lot of people ribbons that they use when they’re giving the cars,” says local smart sales manager Joe Lasker. “They’re kind of expensive – they cost like $250 for a bow.”