Hearne: The Craig Glazer Story I Didn’t Want to Write

Lucky me…

I started my, “I remember Craig” story Thursday before my computer crashed and left me high and dry with an hour’s worth of missing-in-action, unrequited  Craig Glazer love.

My only alternative:  start completely over.

Ugh.

Needless to say, I put it off all day!

So I’ll try and keep this short.

For starters, like everybody else in the local media I had little choice other than to deal with the infamous Craig Glazer.

I’m not trying to be catty here, but trust me, one way or another we all had to deal with Craig, And truth be told, I kinda liked it…somewhat obviously not everyone did.

But he was just too good at his job to ignore.

The smart money – at least that’s what I thought – was to just relax and enjoy the ride.

And it paid off!

Where else was I going to get on-the-record stories about Chiefs quarterback Steve DeBerg passing out drunk and sleeping in the widow well at Stanford’s & Sons in Westport? Or tawdry tails about quarterback Joe Montana? Or funny guy Adam Sandler bedding a Stanford’s waitress after his show at Sandstone. And then autographing his boxers for her as a thank-you souvenir? For which Craig set her up for me to write about, and then fired her after I wrote my story complete with her posing in front of the comedy club donning Sandler’s shorts.

Go figure?

You get the picture, Craig was shameless.

And if there was any doubt as to that fact it went disappeared the minute I allowed him to start writing his own column here on KC Confidential.

Which probably wasn’t the smartest thing I ever did, because who knows how many “normal” readers Craig ran off with stories about bedding mothers while their kids waited  outside his apartment in her car.

Or how many dudes he threatened to punch their lights out for insulting him here on KCC.

Remember when Marti Dolinar (under his online pseudonym smartman) agreed to duke it out with Craig in front of the Beaumont Club in Westport?

Craig was there Johnny on the spot waiting for the fracas, whereas smartman thought the better of it, no-showed and then taunted him here on KCC.

You guys have no idea how many such battles/brawls Craig participated in the past several years. I think I heard about most of ’em.

Including the “last”: one in which he punched out the cabbie who came to his Plaza apartment to take him to the hospital for that fateful last ride and busted his right hand and could no longer write here on KCC.

So yeah, that was Craig.

Remember a few years back when I overdosed on editing his five to nine columns a week and put him out to pasture for a month?

I told you guys what happened and explained why I did it.

I literally could no longer take editing his really raw copy with typos galore, name misspellings and factual errors. Craig was just too lazy to run down and correct his stories before submitting them.

To make my point I ran the last two columns he’d submitted unedited, and,  as I recall, the more literate among you were horrified and could see where I was coming from.

Seriously, try putting in a 20 hour work week (unpaid) trying to make something gawd awful into halfway palatable writing.

I was tapped out.

So Craig ran over to the enemy – that Tony dude – where his crappy columns were posted  uncorrected for the unwashed.

I later relented and Craig continued to go both ways, but his passion was always with KCC.

This was where he started and got to know  – and care about (in a manner of speaking) – the names of our anonymous commenters.

Speaking of which…

Raise your hand if you remember the time I caught Craig red-handed adding fake comments to his stories?

Craig took great pride in getting as many comments as he could – as many as Greg Hall or myself when we had a compelling story.

But little by little, certain clues began to arise wherein I could see many of the same names emanating exclusively from the two areas Craig posted from – his condo in Fairway and the Legends at his club.

I busted him and he fessed up and the fictitious commenters instantly went away.

Which brings me to the biggest mystery in the history of KC Confidential.

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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30 Responses to Hearne: The Craig Glazer Story I Didn’t Want to Write

  1. Craig got rises from people from reading his stuff. Isn’t that exactly what you wanted, Hearne? I always thought his blog posts were pretty cliched and pedestrian, and rarely commented on them, but he was fairly decent (at least as I observed from afar) at posting novice writer diatribe that people liked to attack, comment on, and take apart. There’s a certain genius to that! I gotta admit.

  2. Pepe Silvia says:

    He should have admitted on his deathbed that he was a Confidential Informant. Lol, remember how he spun that to tell us he was a cop?

    Still waiting on that movie about how he totally wasn’t a CI and his tall tales weren’t a cocaine fueled fever dream thought up with The Sting in the background.

    • admin says:

      Craig just got a $10,000 check last month from the guys working on making King of Sting into a movie.

      From what I can tell, it’s likely to happen.

  3. Mark smith says:

    I had no idea the guy was even ill, then again I havent spent much time online of late.
    People loved to hate him, and in some weird reverse osmosis Glazer seemed to revel in the attention, any attention seemed to be better than nothing. He never saw his movie made. He never gained the fame he thought was the be all end all of a life well lived. I searched on twitter for tributes from all of the stand ups he had at his clubs over the years. Nada, zip, zilch. I hope he had someone with him in his final hours, but I have a feeling , based on nothing but a hunch, that he probably checked out alone. I hope thats not the case. Whatever flaws the guy had, nobody can say he didnt reach for the stars, that seemed to be just out of reach.

    • admin says:

      He had some friends and family…not like it might have been perhaps, but better than you suspect…

      I think it probably takes a little longer for the word to get out to traveling comics. This wasn’t exactly a stop-the-presses kind of story outside of KC.

      Craig did relish publicity…pretty much any publicity would suffice. And since spelling other people’s names correctly was not at the top of his list, you didn’t even have to spell his. Yes, he was thin skinned but once the smoke cleared, any trip into the limelight was a good trip for the Craigster!

      • KB in KC says:

        I let Nikki Glaser know last night on Twitter, but other that “Oh shit! Thanks for sharing” there hasn’t been anything else yet.

      • someone call dave coulier says:

        I tweeted Big Jay Oakerson, who featured Craig stories prominently on his podcast. No response but he’s on the road and it looks like his twitter might be actually done by a manager it is too well spelled.

        • admin says:

          I have a feeling it will take a bit more time for the word to spread but Craig touched a lot of people / comics….for better and for worse. But he definitely touched them…and in no small way

  4. Libertarian says:

    His piss match with Wink Dinklemeyer on the Pitch’s comment section years ago was epic.

    I never laughed so hard in my life.

  5. chuck says:

    I am not sure, that we are here, or at TKC, to critique punctuation, syntax and context, if, in fact, the story and the author are interesting.

    Your “competition” with TKC seems counterproductive to me. TKC is as raw as it gets, by way of the “Free Speech” comment section. That’s the thing, that nasty, unencumbered, free for all, for racists, black, white, for radical thought, for insane, disjointed and yet frequently brilliant commentary, is the very essence of America.

    It IS America. Nasty, fucked up, potentially violent, but, and here is the thing, HONEST.

    What the fuck is honest in ‘journalism’ anymore, or, the comment section of any newspaper, or blog? Nothing. The agenda driven media, LIES. P.E.R.I.O.D.

    That racist, hateful, brilliant, ignorant, comment section on TKC, is one of the last stands for free thought in this city and maybe this country. It’s a big, big deal and we should not, NOT be afraid to face our demons. OUR demons and our neighbors demons. Facing the truth might be uncomfortable, but it is the life’s blood of a what’s left of this democracy, for as long as it will continue.

    kcconfidential is just as important for more considered, nuanced, opinion, from a more select group of folks, who are, no doubt, appalled at the free for all over at TKC. You both, compliment each other and are both, in my opinion, indespensable to the discourse in this town.

    Tony gets just as snippy with you as you do with him. That’s fine, whatever. You gusy both elevate the conversation in this city with insider takes, brilliant insights and connections for information that we all need. Why? Because the local establishment media, are liars.

    Hence, the inside stories from kcconfidential and TKC are of paramount importance to we proles here in this “dirty little town” who seek the truth.

    Where else will we hear the truth?

  6. Skeptic says:

    He was a legend in his own mind.

  7. Bob says:

    “tawdry tails” or tawdry tales?

    Yes, I’m a jerk.

  8. Rainbow Man says:

    I am truly saddened. CG was destination reading for me and his penchant for the good old days was fascinating. RIP.

  9. John Q says:

    For years, I enjoyed toying with Glazer. I have known the guy for 40 years. While he was a total degenerate, he was a somewhat good sport. He took a lot of grief. Don’t think for a second he didn’t read the negative comments about himself. It bugged his ass. Using one of my many screen names, I challenged him to meet me at Woodside on day. One of the ladies that work there said Glazer didn’t show for 3 weeks. I still get a side splitting laugh about that. The other was the night he got beat like a baby seal on the sidewalk in front of his old man club in Westport. I loved to read his ghost written articles that Botello posted on his so called blog. Glazer would then post 40 self written comments on his article. Funny as hell. I will miss dogging Glazer, but I still have Chuck the welfare queen and his butt buddy Fats Botello to torment. RIP Glazer.

  10. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    So Hearne, who is going to pontificate on all the local sports teams now? Any chance you can get Greg Hall back in the fray?

    • admin says:

      I think Greg hung up his guns and wants to make some money rather than hold out for the glory of doing it…maybe when his kids get older or something. He was excellent though, was he not?

      • Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

        He could certainly write well, and his passion was geniune. I didn’t agree with him alot, but he wrote well. And you could always get him riled up by telling the truth about the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

  11. Eric Haynes says:

    I remember Craig saying a few years back that he’d probably die if Junior passed away. Am I correct that they both died within days of each other?

  12. Jeffrey Myers says:

    Although I haven´t seen him since long-gone high school days, I was saddened to learn of Craig´s death this past week. Even though our lives apparently went in different directions (as do most high school graduates), those of the same age (Class of 1971) share a common bond on the journey of life…

    I stumbled upon some poignant – and, in part, prophetic – words Craig posted on the occasion of his 40th high school reunion (“in all likelihood most of us will never see one another again”):
    Everyone was glad to see me and me them. It was a great, great time.
    The kids who were geeks were now the ‘stars’ and the cool kids were no more.
    Got some numbers of a few old pals and planned a few lunches. But truth be known, in all likelihood most of us will never see one another again as long as we live.
    We are all just memories of a life gone by…
    Our sincere condolences to Craig´s family and friends, whom we include in our prayers this week —

    Jeff Myers (SM East 1971)

    _______

    Prayer for a 45th High School Reunion

    God of time past and time future,

    We pause to remember.
    And to be grateful.
    And in remembering to become more grateful still.

    On the occasion of this reunion, we stop and marvel at where life‘s journey has taken us, daring to wonder, too, as to what might still lie ahead. But let there first be joy in meeting again, and delight in stories told and friendships renewed.

     As we gather, in person or in spirit, we give thanks for fellow classmates, including those whose names and faces have been forgotten, but whose paths, having once crossed ours for a few moments or years, made our lives all the richer.

     As we celebrate this milestone, we begin by lighting a candle in our hearts for those whose lives were but a few summers, the memory of whom has been an ever-present reminder of how fragile life is, spurring us to live more intentionally. Let us honor the memory of those who, though no longer among us, remind us that even the longest of lives is short and that each life, however long, is nothing less than a miracle.

     We think of those for whom sucesss and popularity came easily, and pray that they have been able to use their talents and advantages well. And our prayer is for those whose problems were many and whose opportunities were seemingly few, that they found their stride and have known the joy of dreams fulfilled.

     We remember with gratitude parents and family, teachers and mentors who tirelessly gave of themselves and their best gifts, inspiring us in word and example. We give deep thanks for all who made us believe that our lives would matter one day. And mattered already.

     Our hearts are warmed at the sight of a new generation of students, and ask that they might know just how deep the world’s need is for their knowledge and commitment. May they endure times of darkness by learning early on the truth of the words: life goes on.

    In the years to come, however many, inspire us to give generously of ourselves, even as we have richly received. Help us to be tender toward those who struggle, to make haste to be kind. Teach us the forgiveness which heals the past and tell us of love which is stronger than death.

    And then, after the final picture and the last embrace,
    send us forth with joy and with hope;
    for, as always, the best is yet to be. Amen.

    Rev. Dr. Jeffrey Myers
    Frankfurt am Main

    “I am not afraid of tomorrow,
    for I have seen yesterday and I love today.“
    – Fellow Kansan William Allen White (1868-1944)

  13. Duane Wood says:

    Good riddance. He was a pathetic sociopath with a little dick. Ended up dying alone in a hospital for indigents. He was a good bullshitter though.

    • Brandon Leftridge says:

      Dwayne Dogg,. four years after the fact and you still wanna dance on The Scribes grave?

      Uh, seriously?

      Craig did NOY depart this portal coil in some poor person hospice. I went to visit him a day or two before he checked out and it was pretty nice. My wife Janet never met him in real life, uh, fully cognizant, but she kindly turned on the first Chiefs pre-season game with Patrick Mahomes at the helm…or “Pat” as Craig liked to call him.

      I’m sure you have bigger fish to fry…sure hope so!

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