Hearne: What’s Really the Matter with Kansas

Would it surprise anyone if I told you KU basketball – not football – fans are full of it?

Didn’t think so.

Well for starters, there’s nothing for KU football fans to be full of, so there’s that.

That said, as a longtime, kinda-sorta KU fan I think I can objectively critique the Jayhawks without giving the impression of harboring a secret agenda. But just for the record, I went to the University Arizona – not K-State or Mizzou.

Growing up in Kansas City I was kind of oblivious to college sports until well into my 20s.

Let’s cut to the chase though, because ever since I splashed down in Lawrence five years back I’ve been living life in what amounts to a cult – a PG rated cult with no end of days scenarios, multiple wives or Kool Ade chugging – but none the less a cult.

A sports cult, to be exact.

One of the most sacred covenants of this cult is a hatred of all things Missouri.

Forget the Civil War, Bleeding Kansas connection clap trap – and forget the 100 year-plus sports rivalry between the schools – this is far more personal.

Not to mention small minded…more on that later.

Basically the harshest thinking by the average KU basketball zealot in Larry Town is all about MU’s “infidelity” to the Big 12. 

They can’t get over it.

The way KU zealots see it, Missouri is like a spouse that slept around and cheated on their significant other. Even though they were sworn enemies – go figure.

And when the going got tough in the Big 12 five years back and Mizzou bolted for the SEC leaving KU for dead, that was the ultimate, unforgivable betrayal.

Never mind that Nebraska, Colorado and Texas A&M also bailed. MU’s exit was especially painful and difficult to swallow.

The reason: KU’s most bitter sports rival big time benefited from the near disaster of the Big 12 going under…and because KU didn’t have a successful football program, the school’s options were far fewer – maybe none.

And let’s face it, no self respecting dude wants their smoking hot wife running off with some rich banker right as the family farm’s about to get repossessed.

That’s a tough wound to heal.

A few years earlier the KU basketball faithful turned their scorn on former round ball coach Roy “I’m stayin” Williams.

That hatred played out for about five years after Williams ditched KU for North Carolina and his replacement Bill Self was able to lock up a national championship in 2008.

However this new hatred (and denial of it) of MU is far more extreme.

Compounding that was Mizzou’s early success in SEC football, coinciding with KU’s unseemly slide into becoming the worst Division 1 football team in modern history.

That was somewhat offset by Missouri basketball’s steep decline, punctuated by its loss to lowly UMKC three years ago.

Which brings us to the present and Sunday’s KU-MU basketball “scrimmage.”

Self and the KU elitists were loathe to call it a game, even though that’s exactly what it was.

“No way KU is going to play hard to try and win and risk injuring one of our players on a meaningless scrimmage,” one ardent KU booster told me.

Even the Lawrence Journal World newspaper played along and downplayed the game just in case those sexy new upstarts at Mizzou managed to pull off an upset.

Trust me, that would have been a bitter pill to swallow for KU’s “wine and cheese set” as Williams once famously referred to its fans.

Once KU won however, the local newspaper took off the gloves with THE gigantic headline: “BORDER BRAGGING RIGHTS”

Luckily for the Kansas cultists.

Had they not, you would have heard more excuses and rationalizations from KU fans than imaginable.

The downside of that might have been adding more to the bad blood that prevents Kansas – not Missouri – from agreeing to renew the rivalry after all these years.

The bottom line:

Until the KU cult gets over itself and agrees to do the right thing and play Missouri in team sports across the board, what was once the oldest Division 1 rivalry west of the Mississippi will continue to collect dust, courtesy of the snobby KU donors, boosters -even educators – demonstrating to the world their small mindedness.

Because the way they see it, allowing the sluts at Mizzou back in to the matrimonial bed after sleeping with the enemy all these years is unfathomable.

Which brings us to the real reason KU won’t schedule Wichita State in basketball:

They’re pussies.

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34 Responses to Hearne: What’s Really the Matter with Kansas

  1. CG says:

    Wow Hearne now that’s the inside scoop on KU for sure. Like most KC folks I am a fan of their basketball program, why? THEY WIN, THEY MATTER. Its the only area program that has been a major success for years with national titles 13 straight conference titles and perhaps more to come. Yes Kansas seems to fall short of the final four a bit too often but boy they are always a top 5 or 10 team every season it seems. While the Chiefs and Royals have moments and the Royals world championship, they are few and far between. So I understand the Kansas snooty attitude. My folks went to MU so I always followed the MU football team who also have been overall a good not great program, until recently. Soooo I am for letting it go, play MU in both football and basketball, its just great business and excitement for the KC area…thats why. Thats all.

  2. Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

    This just in HCJr, Self and KU don’t give a rip what you or anybody else in Missouri thinks about them, their program or their scheduling. Get over it. I didn’t hear anybody clamoring for this basketball game when the Tigers won a total of 9 games in 2014, 10 games in 2015 & 8 games in 2016. Those blow-outs would have been a real kick for MU, I’m sure.

    I get your hatred of all thing KU and Bill Self. It goes hand in hand with your hatred of The Star. Since it’s practically the only 2 things you write about, your bias is well known. This is the way big time athletics works. The big dog gets the bone.

    Hey, I’m all good with renewing the rivalry if that’s what it comes to. However, I’m not going to lose any sleep if KU continues its freeze-out of MU. MU will keep cashing their SEC checks and KU will keep winning Big 12 Championships. Both will be fine.

    Yeah, how dare those pussies at KU not play Wichita State or MU. You’d think they would at least play Indiana, Kentucky, Duke, UNC………oh wait….

    Your statement that KU should do the “right thing” is quite subjective. The right thing for whom?

    • admin says:

      Easy Big Jim:

      You get my hate? Hmmm, explain to me then how you “get” the fact that I’ve had KU basketball and football tickets for decades? I no longer do the past few years because I don’t have the time or interest to invest at that level.

      I wonder if you also “get” the fact that over the years I’ve had tons of friendly bets with MU loving fans when their team plays KU.

      Know what I get?

      That you’re a typical KU zealot who rationalizes things like players getting hammered and kicking the you-know-what out of young women cars outside bars late at night. That and anything else the basketball team does, right or wrong.

      I’m a little slow, but I get that.

      • Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

        Easy there Big Hearne. You get NOTHING about me. Zealot? For a guy that has lived in Missouri his entire life and NEVER attended KU and has been to a total of 2 KU basketball games in 56 years, I find the label “zealot” just a tad extreme. If you can find ONE of my comments on this website where I EVER rationalized ANYTHING regarding the bad behavior of ANY KU basketball player, let me know. Until then, you can reserve your opinion of what you “get” about me.

        I’m as moderate and rational as any commenter on this site in regards to my opinions on politics, sports or life in general. my “Zeal” is limited to my family, friends and a nice cold beer.

        Gosh, I must have been mistaken about the myriad of articles you’ve penned regarding KU’s cult following and the demise of all things KC Star.

        • admin says:

          I’ll bow to your non zealot standing…

          That said, I think you’re a little slow getting that my so-called “thing” is righting wrongs. Long before and I worked at the Star (and indeed while I was there) I was often highly critical of some of the writers and or positions they took.

          That’s pretty much Alternative Journalism 1.0

          Not just an affectation.

          And since they hold the high ground, they make for the best (and usually most deserving) target. Especially since they like to think that they can dictate words, ideas and opinions and more often than not take a one sided view of things then champion them.

          As for KU, similar situation.

          The athletics department there is one of the town’s biggest bullies.

          And they’re used to not being held even slightly accountable for practically anything…except losing.

          Which makes them ripe for criticism.

          It’s true that I’ve long taken that position, but not because I’m from Missouri or went to school in Arizona or got dumped by a KU cheerleader or anything of that nature.

          I’m just here to call ’em as I see ’em and since I splashed down in this cult like environment a few years back, it’s pretty hard not to notice when on a daily basis their disciples (how does Harley spell it?) run around like the walking dead, mindlessly espousing KU’s sports virtues and reciting the basketball team’s talking points.

          In short, you’re not so much mistaken as confused…

  3. David Nelson says:

    Geez Hearne. The P word. Wow. Isn’t that somewhat sexist for a left leaning liberal?
    I’m a KU fan and would have no problem playing MU every year. That being said I do take pleasure in them getting so upset we won’t. Any chance to stick it to them is fine by me.
    Since you are into analogies today try this one….. KU is like the hot chick and MU the dork who is out of his league, but he keeps asking out. The constant rejection just drives crazy – but he keeps asking.
    Chances are good we will see them again in the NCAA tourney this March so somehow the world will keep spinning for the MU faithful.
    And Wichita State…. yawn. No interest.

    • admin says:

      C’mon, David…

      No interest in Wichita State? But you don’t mind playing Emporia State or Washburn. Get real.

      KU is afraid to play Wichita State because they know if they play close or lose it will cost them.

      • David Nelson says:

        Honestly I don’t think KU is “afraid” to play anyone. We have one of the toughest – if not the toughest – non conference schedule year in and out. But to your point – what is the benefit of playing Wichita State? I’d rather play another blue blood program.

      • Goose13 says:

        KU beat Kentucky AT Kentucky. Since KU is not afraid to go there, they are not afraid to play anyone. Any Lost will cost any team.

        • admin says:

          KU is in the position where they have to play the Kentuckys, North Carolinas and Dukes of the world…that’s a given.

          They are totally afraid to play Wichita State because they don’t want to risk the in state loss to a smaller school that would cost it bragging rights and recruiting.

          Don’t buy it?

          OK, you tell me why they won’t schedule them when they are more than happy to play all sorts of lesser area teams that are complete pushovers?

          • Goose13 says:

            Lesser schools have smaller budgets. WSU does not need the financial help as the smaller schools. They get a good pay check when they play KU. Same thing happens with schools in football. These schools playing bigger schools help them get noticed and get donors to give. WSU does not need the help has the smaller schools.

          • admin says:

            Perhaps not Goose, but they long to play in the big leagues and because they are borderline deserving and a program on the upswing, they reprint a threat to KU.

            The last thing KU wants is to have to compete with WSU for in state donors and media praise.

            That’s where it all differs from Kentucky, etc.

            Kentucky is already big time and they’re out of state competition.

            If WSU played KU every year and started winning here and there, that could and probably would take a toll on KU in an entirely different way than losing to Duke does.

            They lose to Duke and everybody goes, “Hey, it was Duke”

            They lose to Wichita State and it’s like, “Why did we even play those bums to begin with?”

            A loss to WSU would hurt and prove far more costly than a lose to North Carolina and KU and it’s fans are loath to take that risk.

            Because they’re pussies, right?

          • David Nelson says:

            Tradition of playing Washburn, Pitt State, etc… started w Roy. Idea is it is nice to give them huge pay day and opportunity to play at Allen. They r exhibition games! In regular season the question is who is it better for KU to play – Kentucky or Wichita State? Even a car salesman should know that answer 😀

          • admin says:

            That may be true, David but…

            Playing Emporia State or WSU is not an either/or proposition…not a zero sum game.

            Wichita State has earned and deserves the right to compete with KU for in state honors and there’s plenty more money to be made by BOTH schools for playing such a game.

            Hell, make it a charity payoff fund to be distributed every hurricane (or tornado) season to deserving parties.

            But don’t kid yourself with rationalizations as to why KU won’t rise to the occasion.


            Already told you why!

  4. Rainbow Man says:

    Roy disparaged KU fans by calling them a “wine and cheese” crowd. And then he put on a seersucker suit and went to Raleigh-Durham… “a wine, cheese, oysters, and caviar” crowd.

  5. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    As a lifelong MU fan, I really couldn’t care any less if MU and kU every play again. That’s just me personally. I felt that the rivalry had gotten to an ugly and unhealthy place and was no longer any fun. But again, that’s just me. The problem with all this virtue signalling by Self, kU fans and the like is that it’s totally hypocritical. Especially with Bill Self. He talks out of both sides of his mouth on this issue. He talks about how playing MU doesn’t provide kU with enough benefit, yet in the SAME post game comments he talked about how great the value of this game was to his team getting to play in a highly charged environment, one that resembled an NCAA tournament game. He even admitted to having butterflies prior to the game. So he’s totally full of shit on this entire issue. And the idea that kU could’ve played anyone and sold out the Sprint Center doesn’t hold water either. If that’s the case, someone tell me WHY Self reached out to Mizzou? WHY MIZZOU? Why not Missouri State? Why not call them up and REALLY stick it in Mizzou’s face? Why not St Louis U? Why not UMKC??? You know damn good and well why. Because the MU/KU rivalry is a big time rivalry that holds tremendous value for both fans and schools alike. And stop with the crap about MU didn’t want to play the game until this year. More bullshit from kU fans. MU sucked ass over the past 3 years, but they still played Illinois. That rivalry still continues, regardless of whether or not one team sucks. And it’s still a hell of alot of fun. Just be honest about it, Self. You’re playing to your red-assed, temper tantrum throwing, infantile fanbase, who can’t get over Mizzou leaving a dysfunctional, backwards assed conference.

    • admin says:

      Well, Missouri sure cares plenty that they renew the rivalry and it’s undoubtedly in the interest of BOTH schools…regardless of Ku’s petty thinking

      • Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

        Sure Mizzou cares, they’ve never denied that they’d like to continue playing in some form or fashion. I don’t personally care, but that’s just me.

      • boom boom says:

        Hearne…you’re an idiot. It’s not in MU’s interest to play
        KU in anything. Mu would crush ku in football (the real big
        money sport) and KU would crush mu in bball (which noone outside the two states would give a fuk about).
        MU went for the money and did the money come in. 600 million sitting in the athletic department account with another 84 million
        sitting in a kc bank to be used.
        Then MU get 20 million from a j school alumni and another 5 million from a vet school alumni all in a short period of time.
        Nice that both schools gave money to hurrican relief and that
        Mizzou did better than any MU alum thought they would.
        MU finally reached into the bag of money…got a great new
        coach….#1 player in the nation for a year….and maybe can
        do something in the pathetic bball sec league.
        WE don’t care about KU. It went down hill with brownback
        and now it’s the murdeer capital of the world. 5 people killed in that little town….sheeeeeeeeesh!!!!!!!!!!!!
        I thought all those lawrence people did wassmoke wackytobaccy
        and wear birkenstocks and talk about philosophy.
        So keep tearing up your hometown….tearing up self and the
        team (which are an incredible team with an incredible record)
        because we love it.
        MU left for greener pastures. Education today is about money.
        And MU is raking it in.
        But they hit a roadblock with those protests several years ago but time heals those wounds.
        So keep ripping self…once he leaves KU is just a dot on the
        Self may be a two talking coach…but he’s the best in college.
        Guy knows how to shell out the cash so to speak.
        So good luck hearne in larrytown…have fun….along with your
        soon to be “former” writer…your only writer will soon be
        gone when BOOM BOOM kicks his football picks.

  6. Phaedrus says:

    I was hoping you’d tell us how much Adidas paid Josh Jackson to go to KU.

    Dude’s is from Detroit, has two good buddies go to MSU to play, and he chooses to go to Kansas? Something doesn’t smell right…

    Had to laugh about Jackson getting fined $35k for pointing a “finger gun” at a fan and mouthing “f!?k you”. Coach Self sure did turn that kid into a responsible young man.

    • admin says:

      There are a lot of KU fans wanting g to know (and fearing) the answer to that very question, Phaedrus!

      • boom boom says:


  7. Kerouac says:

    Everybody wants what the other guy has, to have the best, be # 1. Then there are the rest, those (nod the late George Gobel) who are, comparison, a pair of brown shoes a world tuxedo.

    KU basketball is the pretty face a room where there’s a prettier one still… a 7 can’t compete a 10, Twiggy isn’t Raquel and the Jayhawks aren’t the Bruins. Jayhawks = Naismith, Allen, Harp, Owens, Brown, Williams and Self… not as pretty Wooden’s UCLA; not so much persecution complex as reality check.

    Are worse fates.

    Nod Henny Youngman: ‘take KU football… please.’ Their teams won 3 games 3 years, which also explains 3 double-digit winning seasons theirs, a history that numbers 116 years. Pales comparison rival K-State Wildcats football, ‘Cats triplicating said by way 9 years of 10 win or more seasons since just 1995; why, it’s enough make one long for the days Pepper Rodgers before he too jilted KU football same prettier face, UCLA.

    As Peggy Lee sang/CG affirmed: ‘Is that all there is?’ Yes, is/are. Jayhawks to football what Nebraska is basketball: e’er hopeful, ne’er requited. Each wishes that it could be what their siblings are, or have been. KU vs Wichita State basketball is tantamount to NU vs Creighton (difference NU isn’t afraid to lose their betters, while is KU terrified of being ‘SHOCKed’.)

    As KU wishes it were UCLA basketball 1960’s, so too Patriots wish they were Packers, football same… the world sports dynasty pro & college, the names resonate are Green Bay Packers NFL, UCLA Bruins BB, Yankees MLB, Notre Dame CFB, Canadians NFL; those who would seek be the others are always impostors.


    • rww says:

      Now you need to do a follow up story about North Carolina, Kentucky, Duke, and any other great basketball programs fans, which mizzou isn’t included in football or basketball and compare how they rank. Then include all the sports fans, like the Patriots , who are probably the most obnoxious of all, even more than harley, so we can all get a good laugh. You should be glad we have KU basketball to give us something to celebrate year after year, even if they don’t win the championship every year. Wouldn’t we like it if the Royals or the Chiefs were that consistent?

      • Kerouac says:

        “Now you need to do a follow up story about North Carolina, Kentucky, Duke, and any other great basketball programs fans, which mizzou isn’t included in football or basketball and compare how they rank.”

        – ‘canst no longer know or love the shapes Of this phantasmal scene, who have to thee Been purest ministers, who are, alas!”

        “Then include all the sports fans, like the Patriots , who are probably the most obnoxious of all, even more than harley, so we can all get a good laugh.”

        – ‘By solemn vision, and bright silver dream,
        His infancy was nurtured. Every sight
        And sound from the vast earth and ambient air,
        Sent to his heart its choicest impulses.
        The fountains of divine philosophy
        Fled not his thirsting lips, and all of great,
        Or good, or lovely, which the sacred past
        In truth or fable consecrates, he felt
        And knew.’

        “You should be glad”

        – ‘canst thou not contend with agony, That thus at midnight thou dost quit thine home?’

        “we have KU basketball to give us something to celebrate year after year, even if they don’t win the championship every year.”

        – ‘Are not the limbs still when the ghost is fled, And canst thou move, Napoleon being dead?’

        “Wouldn’t we like it if the Royals or the Chiefs were that consistent?”

        – ‘Mother of this unfathomable world!
        Favour my solemn song, for I have loved
        Thee ever, and thee only; I have watched
        Thy shadow, and the darkness of thy steps,
        And my heart ever gazes on the depth
        Of thy deep mysteries. I have made my bed
        In charnels and on coffins, where black death
        Keeps record of the trophies won from thee,
        Hoping to still these obstinate questionings
        Of thee and thine, by forcing some lone ghost
        Thy messenger, to render up the tale
        Of what we are.’

        Shelley… as Kerouac


  8. Paul... just Paul says:

    I lived in the shadow of the University of Kentucky for five years. You want to see a cult… now there’s a cult.

    The sad part of this and sports in general is the increasing lack of regional rivalries. MLB might be addressing that in the near future, with a plan that includes a two-team expansion and eight-team divisions that would have the Royals with the Cardinals, both Chicago teams, both Texas teams, Colorado, and Milwaukee. It might not be ideal, but it’s preferable to the set-up now where the local team seems to be playing Detroit and Cleveland every three weeks.

    College sports’ push toward a few mega-conferences has squashed regional competition. It’s hard these days to name all the teams in many conferences. Maryland in the Big 10? Mizzou in the SEC? Notre Dame in the ACC? It might look sexy for the end-of-season tournaments, but Kansas State-Missouri would be more interesting than Mississippi State-Missouri. Kansas-Missouri is more interesting than Kansas-West Virginia.

  9. boom boom says:


    • Goose13 says:

      WTF does that have to do with KU basketball?

      • Phaedrus says:

        KU donors had more money available to pay the players due to the low state tax rate. Now donors at all schools will have more money, so the KU donors may not be able to compete.

        I think that’s what Boomerang was getting at.

      • Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

        It doesn’t. He’s still humiliated that Hildabeast got her fat ass kicked in the election.

        • boom boom says:

          only because the commies changed the ballots. Won’t make anydifference…the same shit we went thru with brownback in kansas we’llgo thru with trump if he makes it to 2019.

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