Hearne: The Clear & Present Danger of Meaningless ‘Surveys’

number-friggin-oneOh, for shame…

In an era where social responsibility – you know – kinda matters, Kansas City pulls up way short in the recently released, “2015 Greenest Cities in America.

The good news: At least the Cowtown cracked the Top 100.

The bad: We barely made it, coming in at a nearly bottom dwelling 90th place.

And well behind lesser, neighboring cities and towns that many of us prefer to look down upon as inferior and hickish.  Places like Lincoln in the 50th slot. Even lowly Wichita shot past us in 56th place. And sister city St. Louis – that likes nothing more than to look down on KC – placed 34th, enabling them to do just that.

Is it possible we’re among the environmentally unenlightened?

I mean, it’s one thing to suck at weather – we came in 36th – according to another survey by the same, uh, scientists at WalletHub.

But KC did fare quite well in the Best Staycations – 22nd place. And not surprisingly we were no shows on the  “Best Summer Honeymoon Locations on Your Wallet.” We landed in 33rd (Kansas) and 46th place (Missouri) in Best & Worst States for Teen Drivers and 30th (Kansas) and 40th (Missouri) in Safest States to Life In.

Get the picture, apparently we’re a nothing special place to live – just OK. Which I guess is OK, since here we are and everything seems to be OK, right?

WhyWe'reNo1-02I mean, we’ve got a pretty decent baseball team and nobody needs to read a survey to get their head around that. And Kansas placed 15th in the Most and Least Happy States in America, with Missouri a distant 44th – but that’s a heckuva lot better than 90th, right?

Do you detect a pattern?

I do, and here it is.

We live in such egocentric times that an entire cottage industry of crappy organizations and websites have cropped up with little more than the expressed purpose of dreaming up oddball aspects of our lives, then ascribing meaningless ratings to them in order to generate publicity (and presumably money somehow) for their, you know, research.

And we media types are such suckers that we fall for ‘em every time, passing along their quasi-bogus statistics as gospel to titillate readers and viewers with meaningless drivel.

And to what end?

Fall of the Roman Empire, anyone?

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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10 Responses to Hearne: The Clear & Present Danger of Meaningless ‘Surveys’

  1. miket. says:

    maybe it’s too little sleep with too much Jack Daniels last night, but i fail to grasp your ‘roman empire’ point.

    that as our civilization declines, we’re grasping at stupid, meaningless, facts to help us feel better? that’s as close to any deep thinking i’m capable of right now.

    and even that kinda hurt.

  2. Harry Balczak says:

    Anyone that would prefer to live in Wichita over Kansas City is an idiot.

  3. Kerouac says:

    “The Clear & Present Danger of Meaningless ‘Surveys’”

    – can’t even avoid them on the road: ‘Survey Crew Ahead’

    🙂

  4. Furioso says:

    We are a falling Roman empire for much more important reasons than meaningless surveys and the media that extorts them.

  5. CFPCowboy says:

    In terms of political correctness, I applaud anything that takes us out of the running. Calling the campus police when we hear speech that offends us does not work. They refuse to arrest either the Kansas Governor or Obama when they offend me, so they can be equally offended when I speak. I am an equal opportunity offender. As far as not being green, that’s my fault too. You see the earth, before man existed was warm enough that coral forced limestone as far north as Minesota. Today, that only occurs within 17 degrees of the equartor. Recognizing that the problem was campfires started by Tyrannosaurus Texas and his opposable thumbs, I caused his extinction. You can blame me. When food we once thought was bad for us are now is considered good, perhaps we should take.pride in our low rankings. They will change again soon. In the meantime, let’s celebrate being ranked with Phoenix in having some of the best beach property available.

  6. Orphan of the Road says:

    I notice when there are only a few loaves of bread left on the store shelf there is still plenty of cake.

    Friend passed this on to me after he found it on the back of a business card.

    “I’ve been bawled out, balled up, held up, held down, hung up, bulldozed, blackjacked, walked on, cheated, squeezed and mooched; stuck for war tax, excess profit tax, sales tax, dog tax and syntax, Liberty bonds, baby bonds, and the bonds of matrimony, Red Cross, Blue Cross and the double cross; I’ve worked like hell, worked others like hell, have got drunk and got others drunk, lost all I had, and now because I won’t spend or lend what little I earn, beg, borrow or steal, I’ve been cussed, discussed, boycotted, talked to, talked about, lied to, lied about, worked over, pushed under, robbed and damned near ruined. The only reason I’m sticking around now is to see WHAT THE HELL IS NEXT.”

  7. kriskle says:

    Hearne, these silly “ratings” stories abound all over the Internet and social media for a very simple reason. They are clickbait.

    It is also the very same reason your blog is turning into All-Glazer, All the Time! He’s such a dumbass and an easy target, people click on to say if he topped the stupid thing he said yesterday. And he never fails.

    But speaking of “The Fall of the Roman Empire” . . .

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