Leftridge: TV Time: Lots of Stuff in the Next Two Weeks

falltvcoverFall is the best. The weather is less greasy, the air grows crisp, the leaves grow orange and crisp, and everyone everywhere is rubbing pumpkin and chili all over their bodies. Plus football, and then also baseball playoffs.

But it’s not all about apple cider enemas and sweaters embroidered with goblins. It also marks the reemergence of television, bursting forth from its summer hibernation like some sort of plump Autumnal baby. “Look at me!” television wails. “I am new again, just for you!”

Why, in the next two weeks, there are plenty of new television babies begging to be watched, tickled, burped and swaddled. Which ones should we take care of and which ones should we “throw out with bathwater,” so to speak? Let’s see.

the-walking-deadThe Walking Dead Season Six premieres October 11th on AMC

It’s an institution at this point, a cultural wrecking ball about the perils of living in a post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland. You know, how much it sucks to have your brains and guts eaten by the undead, how much it sucks to watch it happen to your friends and family, etc.

When last we left The Rick Grimes Gang, Rick himself was beating and then killing a man who was threatening the fabric of their idyllic new town by being a drunk, abusive jerk. Everyone was all, “WHOA” and then the black guy from earlier in the series showed up and he looked like, “welp, looks like Rick is crazy now or something.”

WHERE WILL WE GO FROM HERE, FRIENDS? Who knows, but it’ll probably be at least mildly entertaining and suspenseful. (Here’s where I mention that if you’re missing Fear the Walking Dead, damn, stop that shit right now and watch it.)

American Horror Story Season 5 premieres October 7th on FX

I don’t know why I keep watching this show, honestly. There are like, three moderately creepy moments in any given season, and by the 4th episode, everything is convoluted and nothing makes sense. There are usually as many plot holes as plot points, and then suddenly everyone starts singing a show-tune and I vow that “THIS IS THE LAST SEASON I’M WATCHING.” But then the next season comes on, and I think, “well, this one is at a hotel. Hotels can be pretty creepy! I’M IN.” And then I’ll end up punching myself in the dick for three months because nothing makes sense and I could be doing ACTUAL things with that hour a week, like learning to crochet or volunteering to help the elderly, or taking my kid to the doctor to find out why she drags her leg like Jason Friday the Thirteenth when she walks.

Oh, and this season has Lady Gaga, so I don’t know, man.

Godspeed to all of us who choose to watch.

enfield2The Enfield Haunting October 9th on A&E

THIS LOOK CREEPY AF, SON. Based off of a “true” story about the “most documented poltergeist haunting ever,” The Enfield Haunting is a three-part series that takes place “1977” in “London, England.” (OK, the last two things probably didn’t need parenthesis. It definitely takes place in London in the late seventies… I just always question the validity of any supposed “true” haunting.)

Anyway, I don’t care if this actually happened or whatever. The trailer makes it look pretty dope. I’m actually excited about this.

Fargo season 2 premieres October 12th on FX

I’m also super excited about this. If you didn’t watch the first season, you truly missed a gem. (Maybe someday they’ll release the series on VHS or something and you can check it out from the library, I don’t know.) Named after the classic Coen brothers film, but really only sharing the name, ambiance and locations, Fargo was the best thing on television last season. And now it’s back, but with a new cast, and an entirely new storyline. (Like American Horror Story, but waaaaaaay better, I guarantee.) Ted Danson is in this season! And it’s in the 70s!! And the accents will be great!!!

Saturday Night Live season 41 premieres (or premiered, I suppose) October 3rd

You don’t need to watch this. Nobody needs to watch this. I know, I know—“SNL AIN’T BEEN GOOD SINCE CHARLES ROCKET LEFT!” but that’s horseshit. Here’s the deal: SNL has had bad periods SINCE IT BEGAN. We all just choose to forget how much crap surrounded the clips we remember. They’ll have whole waves of irrelevance, mostly due to lackluster casts and uninspired writers. I feel like this is one of those periods. But give it a couple of seasons and it’ll be fine again.

beverly-hills-90210-remake-lifetime-leadThe Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story premieres (again, premiered) on Lifetime, October 3rd

If you haven’t watched any of the Lifetime unauthorized biographies about __________ (Saved by the Bell, Full House and Drew Peterson are among some of their most brilliant original offerings), your life is depressingly incomplete. They are terrible, ridiculous, likely inaccurate and aggressively awful, and they are one of the better things you can watch after having a few (or several) drinks. (Holy fuck, I just watched most of this and it’s everything I thought it would be and more. Am I horrified that DAN CASTELLANETA played Aaron Spelling? Yes I am. Am I surprised? I guess not.)

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20 Responses to Leftridge: TV Time: Lots of Stuff in the Next Two Weeks

  1. Nick says:

    “The weather is less greasy…”

    Where the hell do you live, Lefty – behind a Mickey Ds?

  2. CFPCowboy says:

    Television, great? Is the rock you are living under granite or limestone? Actually, who cares? Season Two is never as good as Season One, as the writers are now requiring the suspension of disbelief. Now, about Season Seven. Television has no reality. I mean, who really believes in a coroner for hire or some guy dodging bullets of bad guys so rich people can bet on him? As for Saturday Night Live, the last time it was relevant was when it had Mr. Bill and Tippy Turtle. Never since the entertainment show won my coveted “Two Toilet Award” for bi-assed entertainment, did SNL capture my attention. The repetition is no longer even entertaining. When the most entertainment on television will be the Democrat Primary debate, and watching the moderators avoid topics, television is in trouble. CSI is gone, until one of the new shows dies and the network opts to do reruns in November. September used to be the month of new cars, new television, and falling leaves. The kids went back to school. Now, new cars look like old cars, the kids go backin August, and television attempts a renewal.

  3. Orphan of the Road says:

    Fear the Walking Dead is more to my tastes than The Walking Dead. Until the final few zombies but a look at how it society fell apart quickly. Really looking forward to Flight 462 more than a new season of TWD.

    Longmire was very good, lots of twists and series finale that made you want the next season to start right now.

    SNL has always been hit or miss, mostly miss.

    Watching LIFETIME will get your Man Card revoked.

    • Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

      Took me awhile to warm up to FWD, Orphan. But, I do like the story line of just how quickly society crumbled. Additionally, it appears that they are going to explore a scenario that I have been saying since the beginning of WD. Why wouldn’t you make your way to a huge lake or the ocean and find some abandoned ship and cruise out miles from shore and drop anchor? Unlimited food source and completely safe from society/walkers. Always seemed like a no-brainer to me. Wouldn’t make much of a series though, I suppose.

    • Brandon Leftridge says:

      I’ve really enjoyed the first season of Fear the Walking Dead. Watching society’s collapse from the beginning is much more interesting than the stagnancy of people endlessly killing zombies week after week.

      • Dale says:

        I don’t get it. I thought it sucked. Stopped watching after the about the second one. Have watched WD from the beginning.

  4. Bob says:

    Fargo was the best thing on TV last year.

  5. blake446 says:

    I dunno– I think SNL may have jumped the shark in terms of horrific sucking-

    watched DVR of the awful, terrible Saturday’s Miley show yesterday — the same day as the Chiefs suckfest–

    the combo robbed me of my will to live — fortunately , caught a good “Black Mass” today at flicks – so — I will survive

  6. mark smith says:

    Heres hoping Fargo season 2 doesnt bring the suckage like True Detective season 2.

  7. miket. says:

    TV? what is this TV?

    seriously, I haven’t turned mine on since I bought “Interstellar” on PPV. in fact, I have the whole thing turned off at the power strip, DVR/cable box included. those thing suck a lot phantom power.

    the downside… when you power it all back up, and if it’s been a few weeks, the damn thing’s brain is scrambled and doesn’t know it is “authorized to receive a signal.” so, you get the pleasure of calling Time-Warner customer service to have them send a ping to jolt it back to reality. the digital version of a cup of coffee after a good sleep.

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