Leftridge: Crap for Sale on Craigslist, Opening Day Edition

Opening Day is upon us, but you already knew that. If you’re going, congratulations and I hate you. Most of us ham-and-eggers will be at work listening discreetly through a solitary ear bud, our faces quietly showcasing a roller coaster of emotions.

In any case, we all need some new Royals stuff, right? Oh, sure, maybe we bought an irregular, discounted shirt at Hy-Vee during the height of last fall’s madness, but can you ever have too much stuff when it comes to celebrating your favorite team? In short, no.

But instead of busting our wallet by getting that cheaply made shit from Honduras when it’s brand new, let’s see what Craigslist has to offer first, shall we?

KC Royals 1985 World Series Wristwatch – $35 (by Zona Rosa)

Kansas City Royals World Series Champion, 1985 digital wristwatch excellent condition

This watch is actually pretty badass, but no WAY it works for $35. This thing has had SO much Tab spilled on it, and SO much celebratory cocaine snorted off of it that I’d be shocked if this thing was working two weeks after Game 7.

~ 1978 KANSAS CITY ROYALS PLAY OFF TICKET ~ – $10 (overland park ks)

Up for sale is a 1978 Kansas City Royals Game 1 Playoff ticket. The ticket has some tape residue on both the bottom and top. A great piece for any fan or collector. $10,cash.Pick up only. If interested,call me,Mark,at (redacted) Thanks!

First of all, if you search Craigslist for “Royals,” you’ll see that this guy has posted this thing (or multiple tickets on different ads) approximately 75 times. Strike one. Strike two, get the fuck out of here with your “tape residue.”

James Shields Royals Bobblehead Bobble Head – $30

I have the 2014 Royals James Shields Stadium Give away SGA bobble heads / Bobbleheads for sale . I am asking 30.00 each. It comes in box and box and figure are nice. you can email me or call  for any info or questions. thanks David

There are a TON of ads for bobble heads, but David is the only guy who has 125 James Shields bobble heads to spare. So if you’re in the market for an unnecessary number of James Shields bobble heads, he is definitely the guy you want to talk to.

Royals – $18 (raytown)

Royals 76 77 78 champs framed out. From pizza hut. 18.00

I like how the posting headline is just “ROYALS.” That narrows it right the fuck down. But okay, wait. This is kind of cool. Why not celebrate your love of the Royals AND poorly crafted, shit-box pizza? It’s only $18! I’m totally buying this. (But he’s gotta ship it. No way I’m going to Raytown unless I’m trying to buy crank.)

+++ROYALS “bobbleheads” – $1 (Grain Valley, Mo.)

I’m selling my collection of “Royals” bobbleheads. They all have their original boxes and plastic inside. Here is a list of what I have:
Soria..2011–$15.00
Quisenberry..2008–$20.00
Gura..2008—-$10.00
Saberhagen..2010–$25.00
Busy..2007–$12.00
Gubicza..2006–$12.00
Snowglobe–$12.00
Sorry, could only get 12 pictures. Couldn’t get all the bobbleheads!

I like how he’s selling “bobbleheads.” Something about the quotation marks makes it seem like he’s pissed off? Or doesn’t believe they’re a real thing? It’s also sad that he has to sell his whole collection. (Drugs?) Third, am I the only person a little surprised there’s a Larry Gura bobble head? Fourth, who is Snowglobe?

KANSAS CITY ROYALS, SANTA’S GIFT, NEW~IN~BOX! – $100 (kansas city ks)

I’m selling my second in a “Limited Series” Kansas City Royals. cc…Royals,Kansas City,Chiefs,Santa

I have absolutely no goddamned idea what this is, but I will totally pay $100 for it. I think it’s a statue of Santa giving a dead kid in a recliner a baseball on a pillow. JACKPOT.

1985 Kansas City Royals World Series champs signed baseball – $500 (Lenexa)

I am selling my 1985 Kansas City Royals autographed baseball. Unlike other balls CLAIMING to be autographed baseballs from the Royals World Series Championship season, this ball is actually hand-signed by the team members, not machine stamped with facsimile signatures. George Brett signed this ball. See photos attached. I have handled many 1985 Royals signed balls and have sold them for up to $1,200 apiece. This ball isn’t the nicest I’ve had, but it is decent and the signatures are readable. This ball is also housed in a high-end, shatter-proof Ball Dome case and somebody graded both the ball and the autographs as being in EX-MT condition, grading 6/10. That is the information on the label of the Ball Dome, at least. I am selling this one for $500 — cash only.

I don’t know about you, but $500 seems a little steep for a 1985 World Series Championship ball that was somehow signed in the early 1900s and in the ocean.

royals memorabilia – $200 (wyco kck)

$200 OBO Nomar Garciaparra poster signed by eight former royals players which I received from a youth baseball camp sponsored by pizza hutt, its only 1 of 50. poster is 20″x37″ stored in a 25″x 37″ frame

This is one of the strangest items I’ve come across on my CL journeys. A Nomar poster, signed by eight former (unnamed) Royals. Hmm. Sure, why not. Bonus points for needlessly including that he got it at a “pizza hutt” baseball camp.

Royals 1985 World Champion Coke bottle – $25 (Raymore/Belton)

Royals 1985 World Champion Coke bottle
10 ounce bottle… full – never opened
Call or text Jan at (redacted)
NO emails
CASH ONLY
Note: This posting will be deleted as soon as it is sold..

30-YEAR-OLD COKE, Y’ALL. I wonder if drinking this will cause you to go to another dimension? I would find out.

Okay, this one isn’t actually from Craigslist, nor is it for sale. Hearne won this weird Alex Gordon doll from a claw machine (maybe in Nebraska?) and offered to give it to me if the Royals won the Wild Card game. Sure enough, one day while I’m at work shortly after that magical night, I get a call at my desk informing me that “some strange guy is in the lobby” looking for me.

Hearne is a man of his word, and I’m pretty sure this doll is now my daughter’s boyfriend.

Thanks, boss.