Lefsetz: The Trouble With ‘Oldsters’

MI0000629197They talk on the phone, turn on the television for news and poke at touch screens…

We went to SUCH a good restaurant yesterday!

I found Wilma & Frieda’s Cafe on Yelp.

Save me the criticism. That’s the new America, backlash. That’s how people establish their identity, by criticizing success and going against norms, especially the supposedly smart and educated. Kind of like this measles thing. You didn’t vaccinate your kid because Jenny McCarthy shook her booty on MTV and told you shots made her kid autistic?

Do you get your financial advice from a prostitute? Do you quiz your caddie about quantum mechanics? Then why would you believe nonsense that has no basis in facts? Oh, that’s right. Get sick today and these same people tell you to take zinc and all kinds of over the counter remedies because western medicine is a criminal syndicate out to kill you.

Hogwash.

Yes, Yelp is based on advertising.

Yes, some of the reviews are bogus.

But the truth is Yelp adds some coherence to chaos…

Wendy-Hurrell_2705607bI’m planning to return to the big city today, but I can’t get over the little things my 88 year old mother does differently than me.

Like turn on the TV. It’s supposed to snow in NYC so…

Who turns on the TV? If I want the news that’s the last place I’d go.

And then she’s telling me what the weather lady said. Huh? There’s an app for that. And the app said it was gonna be 68, even though my mother insisted it was gonna be 72, like the TV said.

The app was right.

That’s the difference between oldsters and youngsters, the latter go to the internet.

Reading-newspaper-photo-by-Margareta-LindLike my mother trying to transfer her New York Times subscription back to Connecticut. This is better done online. The internet makes no mistakes, there are no humans involved. Get on the phone…

They couldn’t find my mother’s account. They told her to call the international delivery number. Since when is Palm Desert another country? Then again, most people can’t name their congresspeople.

So I got her the right number, after divining that she wasn’t registered online. She was so frustrated.

pat-robertson-middle-fingerIt’s amazing to see her poke her finger at the iPhone.

They call it a TOUCH screen, but so many people do this, makes me laugh. As if the phone is full of buttons as opposed to sensors, as if they’re riding an elevator as opposed to using a haptic screen.

You know them. They take their index finger and jab. And no matter how much I tell my mother to softly touch, she still does this.

And she uses her phone a lot. She’s calling her buddies all day long. Whereas I can leave home and return to no messages. I never talk on the phone. Texting suffices.

As it does for the youngsters.

We’re in the midst of a media sea change the oldsters cannot fathom, the baby boomers in power can’t either.

If it’s not available instantly, on demand, we’ll steal it or ignore it. My mother’s friend bitched about what the Times was putting on the front page…I told her most people never see it, they just go online, to the homepage. Huh?

That’s right, Cablevision introduces a wi-fi phone and there are some who still think cable television is forever.

But the truth is, if you’re not busy reinventing yourself and your habits, you’re being left behind.

And something is lost in the transition to the new world. Stuff like record stores, but do we really need phone books?

No.

Live long enough and you get left behind.

Either accept it or catch up.

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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9 Responses to Lefsetz: The Trouble With ‘Oldsters’

  1. chuck says:

    I’ve read many times that the sum of human knowledge was doubled from the time of Jesus, to 1500Af Dominum, then again at 1750, then again at around 1900, again at 1950 and so on, to the point where the sum of human knowledge is now doubled every couple of years.

    Perhaps, without knowing it, you wrote this article about your own generation as well. Your newborn will be far more frustrated with you and your unfashionable obsolescence far quicker that you were with your mom.

    “Casablanca” should only be seen in black and white (NEVER ON AN IPOD THINGY) by short, fat, bald, grouchy Luddites like me, who know how the world should work. I am going to retire there for the “Waters”.

  2. mike t. says:

    I guess in this guy’s world he must hang around a bunch of people who seem to be woefully out of touch with today’s reality and somehow manage to whine about the ‘good ol’ days’ and ‘how bad things are today.’ jesus.

    “Either accept it or get left behind.”, he writes. Is there a wrong action? Is getting left behind a bad thing? The statement itself implies that it is because, after all, being left behind suggests you’re being left out of something. but it’s all relative, right? you can’t see it as a negative if it doesn’t bother you in the least what the f other people are doing or not doing. I don’t feel left out by not having a smartphone. I don’t feel left out or embarrassed somehow because I’m one of the few that isn’t walking around with head bent down constantly tweedling this and tweedling that on some device I’m holding. I don’t feel left out or behind because I’m not streaming the latest “hit” music. I’m quite comfortable in my skin, thank you.

    it isn’t an “either/or” proposition, Lefsetz, unless you’re one of those who has to be perceived as being “in” or “hip.” my $0.02.

    • Kerouac says:

      “something is lost in the transition to the new world.”

      – yes: venerability & style – persons & apparatus – built to last craftsmanship gone in lieu an toss & replace tack modern day. As for transition, something is always lost that process some refer as ‘progress’ (or, as EM Cioran referred – “the injustice that each generation commits with regard to its predecessors”.)

      Would Kerouac kid you? Like a Royal Guard at Buckingham Palace he kids.

      It’s always 1969 at my house. Mid 20th century born Kerouac retains the era’s landline telephone – rotary even – comes in handy and looks cool. Own a smart phone, though I leave it home 99% of the time due my declination having lug it around. Own a record player – with real records – cassettes, 8-track too (some CD’s too. iPod? Ay caramba! That’d be a ‘no’.)

      A tablet? Sure – Big Chief (not to be confused that smaller version desktop or notebook), one with lined pages under the Indian face affixed red cover, circa 1950’s & 1960’s Bluray player? A very seldom used accessory, about as much my Stevie Ray Vaughan CD’s. DVD – and VHS player – an dual setup, ‘natch.

      Music? Sinatra & Bennett, Beatles & Beach Boys, Vanilla Fudge & Cream, early Chicago & Tower of Power too. Kaempfert & Conniff, Ferrante & Teicher, Sly and the Family Stone, the temptin’ Temptations & Supremes too. Petula Clark, Dusty Springfield, Gerry & The Pacemakers – limited internet paper and time prevents further elaboration (auto-tune? Hores**t.)

      TV – Twilight Zone & The Fugitive – only originals will do. Mayberry, Gilligan’s Island, the Prisoner, Star Trek – Allen, Paar, Carson and Cavett – Joe Pyne too. Radio – Suspense. Movies – a plethora.

      Women? Yes please. Bardot, Monroe, Loren & Welch… forget the Japanese building a better one of those – and forget the modern faux version women too (let them try & top that quartet… as salsa made in New York City: get a rope.)

      Computer? A concession: because it alone can do three jobs once required a typewriter, file cabinet(s) & stamped letter via snail mail (tho it too affords pitfalls: ergonomic issues & other, variously.) Desktop? Si. Laptop? Ditto. A flash drive? No. CD/DVD player? Yes. Floppy and zip drive? Why of course.

      Vehicles? 1968, 1969 & 1970 muscle cars 24,000, 111,000 & 47,000 original miles, naturally aspirated carburetors. A 1994 car & 1996 truck, each purely for transportation, odometers read 28,000 & 93,000 miles the deux (no GPS & no backup cameras the former’s… style & shiny chrome will have to do.)

      Clothes – think fashion by ‘Pete’ the ‘Mod Squad’, circa late 60’s & early 70’s. Nehru jacket? You betcha. Colognes & after-shave? Hai Karate, Aqua Velva, British Sterling and Brut by Faberge – affirmative.

      A heavy emphasis old reliable’s, a grudging smattering the new and a copious helping ‘not interested’ the most part, mine.

      Cue Zager & Evans ‘In The Year 2525’ (from 1969, same year an once Champion Kansas City Chiefs had pulse); remember… and shed a tears.

      The modern world: a progress to decline.

      • mike t. says:

        now that’s some funny stuff, krac. don’t begrudge you one bit for staying with what works for you. although the Mod Squad attire, well… something about white shoes and belts really does seem antiquated, but I’ve taken to wearing “Beatle Boots” again, so who am I to talk?

        and while my musical tastes are maybe a bit more broad than yours, nothing like classics as well… and absoLUTEly agree with early Chicago, while Terry Kath was still driving the bus.

        • Kerouac says:

          The garbage Chicago has been putting out since they lost Kath and their heart & $oul(d out) affirmation Kerouac’s .02¢ re: ‘progress’, the vomit bag that be modern music.

          Then again, dear old dad mine said similar things about my preferences in auditory damage: “Bang Bang Bang – I can go out in the garage and make those same noises!” (who’d a thunk it… dad forming his own garage band.)

          Little did he know that his own preferences (Big Band) playing at the house led directly (or ‘in’) to my own ear following its chosen course.

          Prescience failing, a young pre-master Kerouac’s desire learn to play the trumpet was thusly encouraged: “why don’t you stick that thing up your …” musical apples not falling far the tree its progenitor; so much for ‘progress’.

          🙂

          • mike t. says:

            I actually met Terry Kath, quite by accident, by way of a liquor delivery. he had called the store I worked at and had ordered 3 gallons of jug wine and something else. I took it up to this house in the Hollywood Hills and knocked on the kitchen-entry door. so this blonde, long-haired dude answers the door and tells just to set it down on the kitchen table. it’s not a big house or kitchen, but there’s room in there for the table and chairs… and a drum kit in the corner. so, NOT knowing who he was, I ask, “So you play the drums, huh?” he kinda grins and chuckles and says, “Yeah, a little.” and he signs the ticket and off I go. only to get back to the store and read more carefully the signature, this time remember the name, Kath, Kath, where do I know that name. then bingo. then absolute mortification.

            I had an even worse experience of the same kind with the Don Everly. that story for another day…

  3. the dude says:

    Is Leftezzzs describing grandpa Glazer? Having trouble poking that phone gramps?

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