KCC reader and occasional contributor Chuck Lowe is worried. And not just about the usual suspects, you know, the fate of Malaysian Air Flight 370, Chelsea Clinton‘s baby and the Chiefs draft picks.
Nope, Ground Chuck is concerned about the girth of a certain former Kansas City Star sports columnist. Perhaps you know him, he goes by the name Jason Whitlock.
“Seriously, Whitlock is dead in two years if he doesn’t drop a buck fifty,” Lowe laments. “He’s fatter than the Federal Deficit. Honestly, I saw him in person not too long before he went to LA and I think he has put on at least 100 pounds. Dead in two years. This picture is from today on ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption. That’s my flash on my camera blowing up right over his heart. Poor guy really needs help.”
Don’t take this the wrong way; Lowe’s a fan.
“Hearne this is a big man,” he continues. “He played on the offensive line at Ball State and he has huge hands. Look at those hands next to that body. I swear he’s going to take Kristen Wiig’s place on Saturday Night Live in a Lawrence Welk skit if he doesn’t stop.”
The bottom line:
“If he lost 150 pounds he would look just like a guy that needed to drop 50 pounds,” Lowe says. “I’m thinking one of the reasons he is employable again is because this folks at the SPN feel sorry for him. I mean for crying out loud they call the guy Big Gravy. Again they are calling him big gravy on TV – no more Big Sexy.”