Courtney Love, that bastion of musical history and drug addled commentary, has taken on rocker Bruce Springsteen. While softening her misguided comments with, “He’s a nice guy,” Love stated her problem with the Boss’ music is that “saxophones just don’t belong in rock ‘n’ roll.” It matters not that the saxophone has been used by everyone from The Cure to Pink Floyd, Love doesn’t get it.
Here’s some food for thought, Courtney: if Kurt had put a sax in his mouth, he’d still be in Nirvana.
Jeffrey Chapman of Great Bend is charged with first-degree murder. However that’s not the story. Chapman is afraid the tattoo spelling out the word “murder” across his neck might prejudice a jury, so he wants the State to hire a tattoo artist to remove or cover it up.
“Prosecutors say they aren’t opposed to Jeffrey Chapman covering his tattoo, but Barton County’s sheriff says he’s against transporting Chapman to a licensed tattoo facility — the only places tattoo artists are allowed to practice under Kansas law.”
Chapman’s trial is scheduled to start Monday in killing of Damon Galliart, whose body was found by hunters in a roadside ditch in rural Great Bend.
His attorney says in a motion the tattoo would be extremely prejudicial if seen by a jury. I’ve taken a close look at the tattoo and determined that it can easily be changed to the word “DOUCHENOZZLE” which is far less prejudicial.
Michelle Obama is a MAN
Never mind, looks like Hearne covered this one.
“F List” faux celebrity Josie Cunningham said her unborn child will not prevent her from becoming a star.
“I’m finally on the verge of becoming famous, and I’m not going to ruin it now,” she said in an interview with the Mirror.
Cunningham, 23, is 18 weeks pregnant. The baby daddy is believed to be either a Premier League football player, the entire team, or a client at an escort agency she has worked for.
“An abortion will further my career,” Cunningham said. “This time next year I won’t have a baby. Instead, I’ll be famous, driving a pink Range Rover and buying a big house. Nothing will get in my way.”
Cunningham said her decision to have an abortion is based on negotiations she had with the reality show Big Brother. And we all know how many mega stars that show’s launched.
Too bad her mother didn’t think of the whole abortion idea first.
Keeping Kansan’s Proud
Four States still ban sodomy in one form or the other. In Kansas, we are down with you diddling the dearly departed, but if you want oral intercourse between consenting gay or lesbian partners you can still go to jail. Why, oh why, Kansas? The problem is that, “The dead body is a quasi-subject before the law,” according to legal theorist John Troyer in his landmark 2008 journal article on the subject, and “the ambiguous juridical standing of the human corpse in necrophilia cases compounds the sexual monstrousness of the necrophiliac and of necrophilic acts.”
Out of respect for Hearne and tree huggers everywhere I give you the 13 worst predictions on Earth Day, 1970, as reported by Jon Gabriel:
1. “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.” – Harvard biologist George Wald
2. “We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation.” – Washington University biologist Barry Commoner
3. “Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from intolerable deterioration and possible extinction.” – New York Times editorial
4. “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.” – Stanford University biologist Paul Ehrlich
5. “By 1975 some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s.” – Paul Ehrlich
6. “It is already too late to avoid mass starvation,” – Denis Hayes, Chief organizer for Earth Day
7. “By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine.” – North Texas State University professor Peter Gunter
8. “In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution… by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half.” – Life Magazine
9. “At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it’s only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable.” – Ecologist Kenneth Watt
10. “Air pollution…is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone.” – Paul Ehrlich
11. “By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate… that there won’t be any more crude oil.” – Ecologist Kenneth Watt
12. “[One] theory assumes that the earth’s cloud cover will continue to thicken as more dust, fumes, and water vapor are belched into the atmosphere by industrial smokestacks and jet planes. Screened from the sun’s heat, the planet will cool, the water vapor will fall and freeze, and a new Ice Age will be born.” – Newsweek magazine
13. “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.” - Kenneth Watt