Hearne: Chippendales Descecrate Legends, Local Women Come Unglued

IMG_3512Ever wonder what it might be like to take the measure of an all-girl assemblage of horny housewives, errant strippers and girls-next-door gone wild?

Wonder no more because yours truly took one for the team last Thursday, when the Chippendales “50 Shades of Men” show descended on Stanford’s in the wilds of KCK.

It was a first for me, although who hasn’t wondered what it might be like to take the measure of such an event? You know, and be like the only halfway normal dude in the joint. When the Chips hit Stanford’s last year it was a Grade A wilding, Stanford’s owner Craig Glazer said.

IMG_3499This time out it was to be a kinder, gentler gathering.

“Having security this time really helps,” Glazer says. “Having these guards here really helps. I didn’t have security last time and the girls just ran over us. You know, we had 300 girls and we’d never done an all-girl crowd before. I didn’t know how it was supposed to go.”

IMG_3496The worst case scenario last time:

“The worst thing that happened was one of the girls – a third of them were kind of in over their heads drinking – and one girl came into my office and thought it was the bathroom and peed all over my floor,” Glazer says. “She was cute, too. I was sitting here and the door was locked and she came in and said, ‘I just can’t hold it’ and she just went. It looked like a pony the stream was so powerful.”

In today’s economy though, a sold out night is a sold out night.

“The good thing about it is we do it on a weekday, it’s harmless and we make a lot of money,” Glazer says. “We turn a weekday into a Saturday.”

Here’s how it goes down:

“They have seven guys that line up on both sides of the stage and they have the women come up,” Glazer says. “And the more they pay, they get more toward the front of the line and the majority of the women go through. The guys do table dances, too, but the big money is the lap dances on stage. They’ll probably take in $5,000 to $6,000 tonight.”

IMG_3507Do any of the women get to connect with the Chips after the show?

“Not that I would see,” Glazer says. “But you know, there’s this silly rumor that all male strippers are gay, but all the guys I talked to are straight. And these guys are pros; they’re very careful and god forbid that some married chick would say something like, ‘He raped me.’ They told me their biggest fear is getting an accusation like that.”

Fanning out amongst the crowd I blended in seamlessly among the bare-butted, jeans and underwear dropping Chippendales as they worked the crowd hard – on stage and off, girl by girl as the lights dimmed to more – shall we say – discreet levels.

“The women are outrageous, not the dancers,” said one female staffer who asked not to be named. “They try to disrobe our staff members and some of the Chippendales come out of there with scratches down their backs.”

“One girl was so drunk last time she did a headers into a file cabinet and then she walked out on the patio and started making out with Craig’s brother Jeff in front of her boyfriend,” a Stanford’s manager said. “And he was like, ‘It’s okay man, I’m John.”

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17 Responses to Hearne: Chippendales Descecrate Legends, Local Women Come Unglued

  1. hot harley says:

    photos look like there were some “big” girls there glaze…I didn’t see
    any hotties.
    secondly are men allowed in the joint? because hearne’s quote reads:
    “started making out with Craig’s brother Jeff in front of her boyfriend,” a Stanford’s manager said. “And he was like, ‘It’s okay man, I’m John.”
    I thought guys weren’t allowed in the places where these guys performed.
    but this staffer sid the guy was there…please clear up.
    But glaze…I sure don’t see any of the hot women you talked about.
    and classy????….real classy women to urinate in your office.
    must have been fun!

  2. mike t. says:

    Gosh… no one has thanked you yet for taking one for the team? I will… thanks hearne. I hope the burned-in images dissipate quickly and completely. word… don’t ever, ever, do that again. send a female scribe instead. – mt

  3. paulwilsonkc says:

    “Fanning out amongst the crowd I blended in seamlessly among the bare-butted, jeans and underwear dropping Chippendales as they worked the crowd hard….”

    WOW!

    That’s like me saying, “I blended in seamlessly at the 2014 Anorexics Anonymous Convention, downtown.”

    • admin says:

      Maybe the reason I “blended in” so adroitly was I was so boring-looking nobody really cared.

  4. snappietom says:

    I noticed in the first photo, that the two pleasantly plump chicks were wearing
    dresses, was that for ease of access? The other women looked like farm-fed Johnson County select with a dash of Grain Valley “Whiskey Tango” style women.

    Usually not a hot girl in the crowd. Good for Craig making some cash on this deal.

  5. chuck says:

    My contacts are out again, and I thought it said, “Chippendale Descartes Legends…”
    at first. I kinda like it though, “I strip, therefore I am.

  6. chuck says:

    A while back, I messaged Hearne on the phone for some reason and I was trying to talk into my Samsung phone while I drove on Metcalf, I am trying to say, “Everyone has an ego.” I can’t see the phone that well, but it says to Hearne, “Everyone has an eagle.” I hear ‘ping’, look down and Hearne’s message says, “Who the hell owns an eagle?” I say, much more distinctly and much slower, “Every one has an ego.” A few minutes later, I hear ‘ping’, look down and see, “It’s not even legal to have an eagle.” I scream into my phone, “NO EAGLES, EGOS!” I wait, hear a ping, “Thats what I said.”

    I havn’t talked to Hearne in a long time.

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