The train wreck we love to hate; the girl who should have been a Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan is back in the news with a list of dudes she’s slept with.
Somehow the list came into the possession of In Touch magazine. No one’s quite fully sure if it’s real or fake, it could be just another stunt to get her career less career back in the news, but the list is a virtual who’s who of celebrities. So much so that a few of the names have been blurred out by the editors of In Touch!
Headlining the list – among the many others – is none other than, James Franco, Justin Timberlake, Joaquin Phoenix, Adam Levine and Colin Farrell. I had the list examined by a forensics handwriting analyst here in Kansas City and one blurred out line clearly reveals the name “Craig Glazer” when viewed under black light.
Personally, I’m betting the list is as fake as she is and leaked to get her sorry ass back in the news.
If it Wasn’t for Your Breast I Would Have Fallen!
Part-time band teacher Tod A. Barnard at St. Thomas More School in Independence has been suspended after allegations of “suspicious behavior.”
According to a police report, an 11-year-old female student says Barnard would pretend to trip and then grab her breast in an attempt to stop himself. She told a school counselor that he’d done this on several occasions since December.
The school sent a letter to parents concerning the issue but no details were included. No charges have been filed as of yet. I’ve got nothing else – just send him to prison and let his roommates sort it out.
Before he checks in, get him one of those Life Alert buttons and he’ll be mumbling, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” before you know it. This time though, there won’t be an 11 year old girl’s breast to break the fall.
Speaking of prison…
Too FAT for Prison
James Olivos, of Seminole County, FL failed to surrender and report to prison on three – count ’em – consecutive occasions, claiming that he won’t get the proper treatment for his morbidly fat ass. Olivos pleaded guilty to running a multimillion-dollar mortgage fraud scheme and was sentenced in December to serve five years and repay $2.8 million.
In addition to his obesity, Olivos said he suffered from rectal bleeding, pain in his feet, coughing up blood, and ADHD. Magistrate Karla Spaulding disagreed saying, “I don’t see anything that confirms these complaints.”
Olivos may not have rectal bleeding now, but I’m betting he will soon enough. Maybe the ADHD will keep him distracted.
Mom asks, “Do we really know anybody?”
If you recall back in April of 2013, down in sleepy little Ottawa, KS, dirt ball Kyle Flack allegedly killed four folks. After a preliminary hearing Wednesday, Franklin County prosecutors determined they have enough evidence to move to a trial.
Flack killed Steven White, 31, Andrew Stout, 30, Kaylie Bailey, 21, and 18-month-old Lana Bailey. His mom listened as authorities described the way each died.
And this slime bag didn’t just kill four people allegedly.
*** White was shot in the head and chest.
*** Stout was killed by five shotgun blasts to the head, neck and back – five shotgun blasts.
*** Kaylie Bailey was raped, bound, gagged and shot in the back of the head and neck.
*** And the baby was shot in the back with a shotgun. A pathologist testified that baby Lana didn’t die immediately. So what did Flack do with her? He stuffed a dying, 18 month old baby in a suitcase and threw it in a creek.
Flack’s mother’s interpretation of the events:
“Anybody is capable of violence. Anybody can get mad. But what he’s accused of doing in that house, I can’t see my son doing.”
Just before she was administered a MENSA exam, Flack’s mom conceded that she thinks he’ll go to prison for some of the charges adding, “He’s got problems.”
Before leaving the court room she was given the “2014 Apostle of the Obvious Award” by the Ottawa Chamber of Commerce.
Flack will be arraigned on April 22 and within seven days after that they can decide if they will pursue the death penalty for Kaylie and Lana’s murders. I’m afraid I’d have to volunteer to push the syringe on this loser.