Hearne: Can a Dude Named Sam Smith Rescue Our Land of the Lost?

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Sam Smith to the rescue

A couple weeks back the Scribe pretty much nailed the Kansas City of today…

Oh sure, he still loves it here – blah, blah, blah – but the excitement’s gone. The wide open, we can do anything – damn the torpedos – attitude of our storied (and at times criminal) past.

Sure, things are better than they were 10 years ago, but we’re still not Denver – not Austin, Dallas, Atlanta or Indianapolis even. We’re a sleepy city in too many critical ways – politically inept and predictable – with something important missing in the overall mix…too many somethings.

Why would the Republican Convention come to Kansas City? Even the Future Farmers  bailed long ago because Louisville was more fun.

Ever been to Louisville?

But wait, we’re not alone.

The entire country’s caught something flu shots cannot ward off.

That’s what entertainment pundit Bob Lefsetz seems to suggest.

“You know America,” Lefstez says. “A desperate land where it’s everybody for himself, where the pop artists tell us how much better and more fabulous than us they are and we’re peppered with inane ditties imploring us to get up our gumption and do…what?

“The human condition is on life support here. We live in a land where money is king and most people don’t have it. And when you’re in these straits, the only thing that soothes the soul is music. You remember music, right?”

Music is a big part of this country’s problem, Lefstez says.

“Today, just like back then, the best music still comes from England,” he continues. “Where there never was an American Dream and it’s less about getting ahead and more about evidencing who you truly are. In England they follow the pop charts the way we follow the antics of Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey. Everybody knows the hit acts, and everybody’s got an opinion. And they’re all clueless as to what’s going on over here, across the pond.”

Screen shot 2014-01-23 at 9.20.25 AMMore to the point, an English artist named Sam Smith is about to rescue us.

“Sam Smith is exactly what we’re looking for. He looks like us! Everybody singing in America is beautiful, whether by birth or plastic surgery…Oh, he’s had a bit of success. With Disclosure and Naughty Boy. But nobody but a hipster knows this in America. But hipsters are gonna spread the word on Sam Smith’s album In The Lonely Hour,” because the peaks are so damn high!”

That’s the good news.

The bad is that Smith’s album is not slated to arrive until June.

“I’m telling you now, Sam Smith is America’s 2014 breakout star,” Lefstez says. “He’s the one everybody’s gonna be talking about. Because he’s bringing us back to where we once belonged, and have been longing to return to seemingly forever. Rebirth is inevitable. It’s begun in the U.K. Eventually it will spread to the U.S. Because some people just can’t play the bankrupt formula game.”

The $64 million question: can Sam Smith lift Kansas City out of our doldrums?

Prolly not, but stay tuned.

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7 Responses to Hearne: Can a Dude Named Sam Smith Rescue Our Land of the Lost?

  1. Bob Loblaw says:


  2. mike t. says:

    oh, a new british invasion? well, frankly, they were ahead of us musically the first time around in 1963, taking our blues and girl groups and surprising us with it in a totally new way. and it worked then to bring America out of the doldrums and usher in waves of change we’re still dealing with today. but that’s why it won’t work this time… 2014 is nothing like 1963. good luck sam.

  3. hot harley says:

    saw this young mans acoustic videos a few weeks ago. Incredible voice.
    but I wonder if he has the ability to carry his act on stage…where the
    young music market wants the lights/dancers/theaktrics and pyrotechnics.
    But I seriously doubt he can change the direction of the world…he may
    sell half the grosses of one direction or bieber but maybe he’s got more
    than he’s showing …..its all about marketing lefty…and theres no one better
    than the major houses in America to turn this diamond into a star.
    You’re right though..the music of America is dwindling. Saw the show
    Saturday night…I’m not sure that there was the incredible music prowess that
    America is used to displayed on stage with those 2 country artists. George and
    Eric can do it great…but they just don’t have the musical genius power that
    the other great great musicians we’ve seen have.
    There’s no more music classes in schools…theres no more venues for young
    talent to break out….the internet while exposing many acts to millions of
    people has killed the music biz…and the lack of air time for new artists
    on the mainstream radio stations has meant its a huge struggle for the
    new talent.
    I watched McCartney….Elton john…billy joel…now there was incredible
    musical talent. We may never see anyone like them again. We’ll see
    the lip syncers…the voices…but the incredible lyrics asnd music from the
    great ones may be gone forgood.
    Our lives go 24/7…and just as we get one great one comes on they’re drowned
    out by some other worthless band with no musical talent.
    People like Dylan who’s music changed a generation are gone…
    too bad….but music has always been a big force in the world…its changed
    hope this young man make good…great voice…we shall see.

    • admin says:

      Lefstez says the album version of his music blows away the YouTube video that I linked….

      Guess we’ll see.

      He’s definitely not a pretty boy. Looks kinda like a chubby Boy George with a contemporary haircut

  4. The truth says:

    What the hell just happened…. Are you high writing this stuff?

  5. rkcal says:

    This may be the most confusing non sequitur I’ve ever read. Somebody explain to me what British pop music has to do with Kansas City being boring.
    BTW, “political inept and predictable” sounds like the perfect nesting spot for the Republican Convention to me. They’ll end up choosing Las Vegas because those “traditional values” folk love to get their freak on.

  6. balbonis moleskine says:

    Indianapolis is filthy and has a coal plant literally within the downtown and the entire south side smells like Lucas Oil (and not the stadium)

    ps Stay off the dope, son

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