Forget all that City of Fountains bs. Nevermind how great we think the barbecue is. Or how “liveable” Kansas City is. Truth be known, for the past 50 years we’ve been saddled with a small time loser mentality and from the looks of things, that’s not about to change anytime soon.
So says, everybody’s favorite Scribe, Craig Glazer.
“We’re never first at anything that matters,” Glazer says. “We need to get off this evil do-gooder thing because nobody really wants to come here. The handful of great sports players we’ve had couldn’t wait to leave here – Joe Montana, Tony Gonzalez, Marcus Allen – all gone. This city needs some action because we don’t stand for anything, we really don’t. We lose, because we’re boring. Kansas City needs to take the blinders off and be realistic. We need to grow up and prosper. Like our antiquated stripper laws that they don’t enforce.
“We’re a town of Mike Sweeney‘s and Billy Butlers. We’re not a town of Mark McGwires and Jose Cansecos. We’re a town of Matt Cassels and Trent Greens. Not a town of Tom Bradys and Peyton Mannings. Or Johnny Football - he wouldn’t fit in here because he’s not boring.
“I’m just saying that when you look at our sports teams, they have no pedigree because we don’t embrace the swashbucklers, the people who stand out and say, ‘Hey, I’m great,” and then back it up. It’s okay to say, I’m great and back it up, but if somebody does that here, they’re ostracized and people just wait for them to slip so they can jump all over them.”
“Losers lose and the Chiefs are losers,” Glazer says. “And they will always be losers. They’ve been losers for 50 years – they just don’t have it in them to win. And I think our sports teams are indicative of the way this city has operated.
“There was a time when Kansas City was wilder and more hip – in the ’20s, ’30s, ’40′s and ’50s – when we weren’t so uptight. Then something happened and we became Judeo-Christian. George Brett is the best example. George Brett was a great ballplayer, but he has a substance abuse problem and he’s had a lot of public instances. There have been many stories about Brett, like the recent one where a guy came up to him when Brett said he was stalking him and asked him for an autograph. And (Brett) cussed the guy out and threatened him.
“I’ve never met a city that’s as judgmental as Kansas City. And I lived in LA for more than a decade and in Phoenix for half a decade. And those cities are more open minded. You know, they admired Jack Nicholson for dating all those really young girls when he was older. But we’re judgmental, we want to pretend we’re the good guys and wear white hats.
“Like everybody knows Johnny Dare is a millionaire. Yet everybody pretends he’s the salt of the earth. That he’s got it tough like they do. And then he’s on a plane to England to see a concert. Johnny Dare goes wherever he wants to; in a sense, he’s a jet setter. But his presence on radio is that he’s wearing the same blue jeans he’s had for 15 years and that he struggles to get by, just like you. And people know that’s not true, but they pretend to believe it. Just like we pretend to be something when we’re anything but that.”
KC needs to divorce itself from it’s phony prim and proper self image.
“We really aren’t (prim and proper) but we pretend to be,” Glazer says. “And in that pretending we lose ourselves. It’s an attitude. Like hey, there are gay people and women do like to have multiple sex partners and people do cheat on their wives. And like everything that happens in other cities happens here too. We just try to put a bow on it and that mentality holds people back; that bible thumping; that watching porn on Saturday and going to church on Sunday.
“Because if you don’t take risks and embrace what makes this country great, then you’re never going to win on a consistent basis. You’re never going to be the best. You’ll always be average. And that’s what’s happened to our sports teams.”