Jumping beans. Jakarta. Java. Javelin…
These are all words that start with the letter “J.”
Grandpa. Gross. Golf. Groundhog.
These are all words that start with the letter “G.”
Sometimes, you can get a “g” word that starts with a soft “g” like gel, or geriatric, but most “g” words start with a hard “g.” You know, like “Gross grandpa guy gets gays’ goats.”
I explain these grade-school linguistic variations not because I don’t think you don’t know them already—again, they’re things most of us learned in Kindergarten (hard “g,” by the way)—but because KSHB 41’s Jack Harry thinks we’re all idiots, apparently.
In case you missed it, Harry was hosting his Sunday night sports wrap a couple of days ago, and, when discussing the Jayhawks with fellow broadcaster Frank Boal, he went off script and blurted out “Gayhawks” in reference to KU’s basketball team. You know, “Gayhawks!” Something that a second grader might scream at another child on the playground in the midst of a heated exchange.
Boal pressed on without acknowledging the juvenile comment, and that was that.
Enter: the internet.
I first saw it on Twitter, replete with said clip, and then it was all over 610AM, and people were sharing it to Facebook and I’m fairly certain Barrack Obama may have mentioned it in his eulogy to Nelson Mandela.
That’s kind of how things work in this day in age. One minute, you’re posting a video clip of your dog farting because it sounds like he’s saying “Hello” to YouTube, and the next, you’re being interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel because dog farts are hilarious.
Jack Harry should know this.
But he doesn’t, because he’s decrepit and stupid, a 115 year old man in a cheap suit with a vapid face and an empty skull to match.
After the story started making the rounds, he was forced by KSHB to make a video apology. He said—with as much sincerity as he could muster—that he didn’t say what we all heard him say. That it was “misheard.” He explained that he would NEVER say something so insensitive in nature and blah, blah, blah, I guess we’re all fucking idiots, guys!
See, it’s ridiculous that he said what he said—what we all know he said. You can’t say this kind of thing in this day and age, even if you don’t intend on it being offensive. I get it. Harry wasn’t ACTUALLY suggesting that the whole men’s basketball team prefers the company of other men. He wasn’t saying that at all. Something slipped out past his baked, lizard lips that he didn’t mean to let slip. It happens. That doesn’t make it okay, but it’s fine. We’ve all said shit that we’d never want repeated in public. We’re human.
Where Harry REALLY shit the bed, however, was by failing to admit his error.
Instead of issuing a REAL apology—one where he explained that he said something stupid in the heat of the moment, and he regrets it deeply—he said that we all misheard him.
Because we are all also 115 years old and we all need our hearing checked. Because, with these newfangled TV machines, sometimes the audio comes and goes, right? Because he would NEVER say something like that. He knows plenty of queers, and they’re just fine by him. (So long as, you know, they don’t touch him and give him their gay or whatever.)
It’s really the fact that he’s so out of touch with reality that really needs to be addressed. If he can’t stop himself from blurting ridiculous, offensive shit on live television, perhaps he has no business being a part of said medium.
And if he insists on continuing to broadcast, and he can’t keep his slurs to himself, he needs to at least learn to man up and admit his mistakes. Trying to convince me that I didn’t hear what I know I heard is embarrassing not only him, but the viewing public as well.
Hang it up, Jack. Your best days (assuming you ever had any) are long gone.
Follow me on Twitter (where Jack Harry has me blocked!) @StanfordWhistle