Hearne: On Second Thought…Scribe Unloads on Horrible Chiefs

keep-calm-and-watch-chiefs-lose-1Sometimes it takes a while for something truly godawful to sink in…

So it is that it took a day for the comedy club main man you fondly know as the Scribe to come to terms with this year’s Kansas City Chiefs in the wake of last night’s loss to Denver.

“Think about it,” Glazer says. “Who in the NFL has a worse offense than us? They say this is the worst 9-0 NFL team ever, but no, it isn’t. It was the other 9-0 Chiefs team in 2003. You know, they’re playing a below average San Diego team this Sunday at Arrowhead and I think they’re going to be lucky to win that game.”

Here’s the Chiefs problem in a nutshell:

“It just comes down to this,” Glazer says. “You have to have talented, elite players at key positions to consistently beat good teams. And even though the Chiefs were 9-0 and people kept saying they had the No. 1 defense in the league, they really don’t. The Chiefs just lack big time stars at too many key positions on offense to be a Super Bowl threat.

“And obviously we kept hoping that with the injury to Peyton Manning our big sack attack would get to him, but as the game unfolded the reality set in and we didn’t even get one sack. What was impressive about the Chiefs defense was they did stop Denver’s rushing attack.

sports-texans-chiefs-16-kc-15504003jpg-0bba90807e11fabc“But let’s face it, at no time did anyone watching that game think the Chiefs were going to win.

“And as for pot head Dwayne Bowe, “He tried really hard, but the reality is he’s not very fast and he still drops balls like he did last night,” Glazer says. “He’s just not an elite receiver – he’s decent but he’s not great. And he’s a shadow of what he once was, but what we’ve all been waiting for is the superstar to show up and he just isn’t that guy. Plus he’s a little older now and he has some money and some personal issues.”

The bottom line: this year’s Chiefs are posers.

“That might be a little mean – I mean, they did win nine games – but they had a very weak schedule and they lived off the fact that they faced some really bad quarterbacks and got some lucky plays.”

Next up?

“I think the Chiefs are looking at losing another two or three games, so barring an injury to Manning, the Chiefs are likely to be a wild card team with a good record,” Glazer says. “So they’ll have to go on the road and they’re just not built to go up against really good teams on the road.”

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20 Responses to Hearne: On Second Thought…Scribe Unloads on Horrible Chiefs

  1. Dreamwriter326 says:

    Yeah, Craig, holding the highest-scoring team in the league to its lowest scoring output all season, in a game Denver knew it HAD to win, makes the Chiefs a dismal failure. Pathetic. Losers. Pretenders.

    Thanks for clearing that up.

    • CG says:

      Sir Manning had us from step one, he could have put up at least two more TD’s if he needed them. He didn’t. Again Chiefs are much improved from last year. But they have NO OFFENSE, NONE, one of the three worst in the NFL with Tampa and Jacksonville, maybe we can add Oakland and a banged up Packers team, we rank with them. Horrible. Really bad…teams with offenses this weak don’t win many playoff games, or get there. we will get there, but I see no way to improve this very bad offense..how?

      • harley says:

        glaze wrong again…how many times will you make
        statements that are 100% wrong.
        please…do some checking before making these
        false statements.
        please check with google or say nothing.
        again…sports is not your forte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • harley says:

        glaze…sports is not your forte.
        how can wechange the offense…get to the off season
        and make some new draft picks…get some speed outside..
        call art down at Baylor and pick his brain about running
        a offense…
        retool the team….improve the o line with more experience…
        let bowe go finally nad add some speedy receivers..
        call gary at mu and have him send his receivers up
        here so reed can see what size and speed do for a
        there’s lots the chiefs can do…but fools like you and
        the socalled sports experts don’t get it.
        this is a huge turnaround..
        your negativity is horrible!
        please stop making untrue statements.
        get some facts…get some data….do your homework…
        the chiefs are a work in progress!

      • the dude says:

        Jesus Glazer you kill me. The Chiefs drop a game to the team that will probably go to the super bowl and you act like it is all over for them. Luckily Denver’s media is not as knee jerk when they got the crap beat ouit of them by a mostly mediocre Colts.

        Wait until they stuff Marmalarde next week and when the Donkeys come to Camarohead so they can exact revenge. If they lose there then I guess you can rant on about how they are the absolute worst team ever.

  2. Kerouac says:

    An indictment of the Chiefs to be sure, losing to the Broncos in Denver, indictment of the NFL more so that a 2-14 team in ’12 would be 9-0 & even fathomable considered by some be “the best team in the NFL” by 2013 – that doesn’t happen (in fact never had, team with the worst record year before morphing 9-0/league-best next season;) the modern NFL is a joke.

    The NFL cannot guarantee all 32 teams will be equal or even competitive each year, but boy don’t they try. A league full 8-8 teams their goal – competitive balance they call it (translation – CRAP); shy that, they are pseudo satisfied no one team is truly dominant, sham W/L records aside. Imagine DEN without Manning & 9-1 becomes closer 5-5, my opine. Replace KC’s QB Smith with Daniel or Bray & pray x2… get an similar circumstance.

    The ’72 Dolphins lost starting QB Griese for 9 starts – and still finished a perfect 14-0; what a ‘team’ looks like. Ditto the ’69 Chiefs losing Len Dawson while managing go 6-0 his absence, an inexperienced Mike Livingston starting at the helm. 2013 & for many years now, has been about the Benjamin’$ more so than ever. Reason the league is so intent on protecting their main draw$ & team catalysts, the QB’s (why Jack Lambert once said “the QB’s should wear dresses” (i.e., mark as ‘off limits’ to the defense;) the price of parity is pathetic football, ‘half’ team’s variously.


    Chiefs 2013 vs Chiefs 2003… resistible force meets movable object?

    Not sure which was worse, 2003 Chiefs defense or the 2013 Chiefs offense. A knee jerk reaction would be 2003’s D was worse, but beyond that defense ranking 19th in points allowed & 29th yards surrendered they helped the ‘team’ (offense) to a +19 giveaway / takeaway ratio (offense alone gave up 12 ints & 11 fumbles; contrast with ’13’s offense which has 4 ints & 10 lost fumbles to date.) Compare with 2013’s offense which sits at #16 points scored & 24th in yards earned. Upshot – the giveaway/takeaway ratio was better ’03 at +19 overall than it is to date ’13, at +15, stats ever subject to slant.

    • CG says:

      Agreed both teams ended up at bottom. This team could be the better team if they can score plus 20 now and gain…we’ll see, I doubt it.

  3. Mysterious J says:

    This is the same CG who was saying the 2003 9-0 team was a sham, but this current team is for real, right?

  4. Bob says:

    ““Think about it,” Glazer says. “Who in the NFL has a worse offense than us? ”

    Google is your friend, Craig.

    24 Kansas City Chiefs 10 23.2 232 669 320.0 4.8 19.1 53 149 36 0 4 0 66 419 32:01 11 5 +15
    25 Cleveland Browns 10 19.2 192 678 318.1 4.7 18.0 50 156 32 11 23 48 71 641 28:56 10 4 -3
    26 Minnesota Vikings 10 24 240 608 317.7 5.2 18.0 52 131 40 6 13 46 41 402 26:22 15 9 -8
    27 St. Louis Rams 10 22.4 224 634 316.5 5.0 18.3 47 139 34 5 13 38 72 573 30:09 15 8 +5
    28 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10 18.7 187 656 310.8 4.7 19.1 52 145 36 6 14 43 85 827 31:47 12 5 +5
    29 San Francisco 49ers 10 24.7 247 592 309.0 5.2 17.1 51 135 38 6 8 75 64 538 29:31 13 8 +6
    30 Baltimore Ravens 10 20.8 208 687 308.5 4.5 18.7 60 164 37 5 8 62 71 602 30:46 11 5 -5
    31 Miami Dolphins 10 21.3 213 621 307.8 5.0 17.8 47 133 35 2 6 33 41 383 28:11 10 6 0
    32 Jacksonville Jaguars 10 12.9 129 627 278.0 4.4 15.9 38 138 28 8 20 40 61 497 27:06 12 3 -7

    • admin says:

      Forgive me, but what are the above, lottery ticket numbers?

      • dreamwriter326 says:

        It looks like it says eight teams currently have worse offensive stats than the Chiefs, including BOTH teams from last year’s Super Bowl.

        • Kerouac says:

          Two things that must be considered: a team’s ‘stats’ are among other a reflection of ‘who’ they have played, i.e., they made said yards against an opponent on offense & limited yards gained against them, on defense. An team might be behind & garner ‘garbage time’ yardage which could (emphasis ‘could’) skew said, for example. Doesn’t change the yardage but the relevance of said is a matter of perspective.

          Case Chiefs, they’ve been opportunistic – opportunities have been many their opponents considered, plethora 2nd, 3rd & no string QB’s fresh off the practice squad / never played a down in the NFL, considered. Holding Casey Keenum or Jeff Tuel in check is not the same as shutting down a Manning, for example; get enough of the former two type QB’s on your resume & a defense may appear more accomplished than it is.

          Just as ‘stats’ will tell you the Chiefs defense is far from being the NFL’s best based on yardage (they gave up a ton to DEN), points allowed & the W/L could (emphasis ‘could’) be factors to be considered as well, but are more so of course a reflection of ‘team’ & not merely defense. That DEN more than doubled (27 points, 30 if a missed field goal hadn’t occurred) the Chiefs defensive average of 12 points per game allowed is of note.

          Upshot: all records – W/L as well stats same – are not necessarily created equally/don’t tell the tale in total.


          Sort of like his adherents claiming Emmitt Smith ‘best RB history’ because he gained the most yards rushing; considering he had more attempts rushing than anyone else, played behind pro bowl and/or HOF types on the offensive line & was a member of a ‘team’ chock full of stars, he ‘should’ be ahead of everyone… perspective. Great without question, but not among my top 5 ever, one man’s opine.

          Come post season (as Chiefs fans know all too well, based history), all that shutdown D regular season goes out the window; it’s a brand new season/level of competition.

  5. Bob says:

    ““That might be a little mean – I mean, they did win nine games – but they had a very weak schedule and they lived off the fact that they faced some really bad quarterbacks and got some lucky plays.””

    So were they supposed to lose those games they one against inferior competition? I’m not a Chiefs fan at all, but you are not formulating something to argue against. You are creating a straw man that hardly any Chiefs fan prior to Sunday would have cared about. Everybody knows the Chiefs have a lot to prove no matter their record.

  6. chuck says:

    Wet by every rain and blown by every wind.

    Lets step back for a second, so we can repair all those torn ACLs we all get from Knee Jerk reactions to the latest win/loss for the Chefs.

    Every casino in Vegas had the Chiefs going down by 8.5 points. They were a road team, playing the best team in football, a team motivated and desperate, that is right, desperate for the win, knowing that New England in up next week and from there, a rematch with the Chiefs. The Chiefs neither distnguished themselves, nor did they embarrass themselves. The Chiefs will be, if there are no injuries to either team, a 2.5 point dog when the Donkeys show up here, in my opinion.

    They won 2 games last year and as I remember it, almost all of you guys except me picked them to go under the 7.5 over under at the beginning of the year.

    In the spirit of Joe Willy, I am gauranteeing a Chiefs win in 2 weeks when Manning and company return. The crowd will be loud, the weather will be cold and the Chiefs “D” will play the sax all night. It will be a watershed moment in KC sports history that you will tell your kids about.

    Chin up Glaze, this is a 16 round fight, we are ahead on points and I havn’t seen a great team in the NFL all year this year.

  7. harley says:

    again….glaze knows nothing about sports.
    hes indicting this team which went from 2-14 to 9-1 in one year!!!!!!!!!!!
    that shows glaze knows nothing about sports…period.
    anyone who has problems with this years team is a complete fool!!!!!!!
    reed took a down and out team……kept about only a few players from
    the previous year….added 32 new players and put them on the field
    to play in the nfl. that’s not to mention the one and two year players
    who are now major contributors to the team and probably 4 will make
    the pro bowl.
    to indict this team at this point shows how little if anything these
    sports “experts” know about football.
    Glaze has his usual “on again” / “off again” predictions which
    change like the weather. First they’re good…then they’re bad…then
    they’re good….he cant find a single way to go.
    same with all the rest of the sports “experts”.
    obviously this team has holes…holeswhich will take more than
    6 months to fix. Butpeople like glaze don’t understand the nfl.
    they don’t understand the process it takes to turn a team
    2-14 to 9-1? has that ever been done in the nfl….I doubt it!!!!!!
    but glazeand the sports “experts” don’t understand the transition
    that a team takes with so many new players!!!
    they don’t know sh*t…but to continue to find fault with the team.
    Reed inherited a down and out team…they could not fire everyone..
    won’t work and doesn’t. they had to work with a nucleus of young
    unproven players.
    these “sports” experts know nothing…and after less than 3 months…
    cant understand that a team takes time to put together.
    glaze and the non “sports” experts don’t understand the dynamics
    of this team….new offensive line in key postions…new defensive
    players ….young unproven players from romeos teams….
    glaze and these non sports experts just continue to spew out
    misinformation and faulty judgements.
    who would have thought that this team would be where it is now.
    NOT GLAZE OR THE OTHER ‘sports experts” who know nothing
    about the way a team is structured…about strategy….
    about the makeup of a team….so they just keep on putting their
    foot in their mouth!!!!!
    yes…the chiefs are 9-1…if they finish with a record of 12-4 or 13-3….that
    is absolutely incredible!!!!!
    the sunday game broke all viewing records…it beat the nba/world series/
    national championship viewer records….that’s incredible.
    500,000 people watched the chiefs game sundaynight…unheard of numbers…
    and glaze and the rest of the know nothing about sports have the
    audacity to complain.
    Please “sports” experts…do some research…your comments are
    false…and your opinions lack any factual background.
    prove something once…give us some stats to back up what you say
    instead of making stupid comments.
    I am sick (as other’s are too) of these people making idiotic statements
    that have no facts or data to back it up.
    Denver was a great team….just look at what they’ve done to many
    “good” teams in the nfl this year!!!!!!!! then look at how kc played them.
    this goes to glaze and all the other “sports” experts on tv and radio…
    get your facts straight…or shut up!

  8. Rich says:

    “But let’s face it, at no time did anyone watching that game think the Chiefs were going to win.”

    Mind reading, much?

  9. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    Sheezus Glazer. I’ve seen less flip flopping in a presidential campaign. Between the Chiefs and the Mizzou Tigers, you’re all over the place.

  10. Jess says:

    Yea, never seen this story coming *Eyes Rolling*

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