Jack Goes Confidential: ‘The Counselor’ — Sexy Thriller Disappoints

movies1-1Wow, what a cast!

Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt, John Leguizamo and Rosie Perez.

The film’s credits aren’t bad either. It’s directed by Ridley Scott from an original screenplay by Pulitzer winning author Cormac McCarthy (NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN and ALL THE PRETTY HORSES).

So you can imagine my interest in THE COUNSELOR, which interweaves the author’s characteristic wit and dark humor with a nightmare scenario which spins WAY out of control.

Fassbender stars as a hot to trot lawyer who gets involved in a corrupt business deal.

Before he knows it he’s in it way over his head and getting sucked into the dark and dangerous world of drug smuggling.

Fassbender, Bardem and Pitt get into it deeper and deeper – eventually TOTALLY over their heads – with betrayal and disaster lurking at every turn.

fassbender_the_counselor__0Style. Crime. Glitz. Sex!

Sex?

Things start out promising enough in the very first scene with Fassbender performing undercover “submarine races” on Cruz.

Or how about Cameron Diaz doing Bardem’s convertible?

That’s right stripping off those bothersome undies, spreading her lovely stems and giving the windshield a good “viper effect.”

Which lends an all new meaning to mixing pleasure with business.

I know, I know, too much gynecological information.

You’ve just got to see it to believe it.

Oh, and the patter is pretty snappy too. Like Brad Pitt’s little racist observation—make that joke — “You know why Jesus wasn’t born in Mexico? He couldn’t find three wise men OR a virgin.”

Brad Pitt Films 'The Counselor' In LondonWith all that going down, why did THE COUNSELOR disappoint?

For one I had no feelings—good or bad—for anyone in this violent psychological thriller. I don’t care how much starpower they threw at me.

This is simply a PULP FICTION wannabe that just doesn’t cut it.

What a shame, because it could’ve been so much better.

The film opens in several theaters this evening at 10:00 p.m. then plays everywhere starting on Friday.

THE COUNSELOR gets a C- grade.

(Reviewed at AMC’s Ward Parkway Theatre)

 

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. and 8:40 a.m. on KMBZ FM & AM / And anytime on Time Warner-Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411.

 

 

 

 

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11 Responses to Jack Goes Confidential: ‘The Counselor’ — Sexy Thriller Disappoints

  1. Nick says:

    This is quite possibly the most vacuous movie review I’ve ever read (outside of howie movshovitz’s film courses at CU.) The dearth of actual information upon which you based your ‘evaluation’ is staggering.

    • jack p. says:

      Thanks for sharing. But how do you REALLY feel?

    • admin says:

      Dear Nick:

      I see your point. And if you’re of the school who demands ultra serious, in depth, truly meaningful movie reviews, there are plenty of self-aggrandizing writers out there who view their hobby-turned “craft” as scholarly.

      Me, I’d rather cut to the chase with Jack any day of the week.

  2. chuck says:

    Wow. That sucks. The trailers looked so good.

  3. PB says:

    Eh, the Ridley Scott name has lost a lot of it’s luster in recent years. I mean, in reality, his whole career has been pretty uneven, but imo, he hasn’t truly scored since over a decade ago with Gladiator and Black Hawk Down. Still, the trailer and people involved did make me think this one would be a winner.

    • jack p. says:

      The Chicago Sun-Times review said: “The character relationships lack spark and juice of enjoyable trash….shiny cast, silly story…”

      Another review said: “THE COUNSELOR is a very bad film and I suspect that a lot of the actors knew that already as they did their work.”

      Here’s the one that really got me earlier today from VARIETY: “….as (Ridley) Scott and an appallingly miscast group of A-list stars fumble their way through thickets of dense philosophical dialogue, alienating audiences who would’ve happily settled for a more conventional genre movie.”

      So maybe I really wasn’t that far off myself—you think?

  4. StillAtMyMoms says:

    I knew this movie would suck just by reading a sample of the script. He describes in detail, over two pages, how drugs are loaded on a truck.

    The Hollywood rule of thumb is one page equals one minute of screentime.

    Go figure.

    McCarthy needs to stick with his novels and should have learned a thing or two from Fitzgerald when he tried to make it in Hollywood back in the day.

    Also, the guy is way overrated in my humble opinion. Way too bleak and depressing.

  5. chuck says:

    I think ya got it right Jack, it is getting killed on Rotten Tomatoes.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_counselor_2013/

  6. jaden says:

    Nice review, totally agreed. It could’ve been so much better than this. So shame.. with all these actors and actoress :()

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