Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt, John Leguizamo and Rosie Perez.
The film’s credits aren’t bad either. It’s directed by Ridley Scott from an original screenplay by Pulitzer winning author Cormac McCarthy (NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN and ALL THE PRETTY HORSES).
So you can imagine my interest in THE COUNSELOR, which interweaves the author’s characteristic wit and dark humor with a nightmare scenario which spins WAY out of control.
Fassbender stars as a hot to trot lawyer who gets involved in a corrupt business deal.
Before he knows it he’s in it way over his head and getting sucked into the dark and dangerous world of drug smuggling.
Fassbender, Bardem and Pitt get into it deeper and deeper – eventually TOTALLY over their heads – with betrayal and disaster lurking at every turn.
Things start out promising enough in the very first scene with Fassbender performing undercover “submarine races” on Cruz.
Or how about Cameron Diaz doing Bardem’s convertible?
That’s right stripping off those bothersome undies, spreading her lovely stems and giving the windshield a good “viper effect.”
Which lends an all new meaning to mixing pleasure with business.
I know, I know, too much gynecological information.
You’ve just got to see it to believe it.
Oh, and the patter is pretty snappy too. Like Brad Pitt’s little racist observation—make that joke — “You know why Jesus wasn’t born in Mexico? He couldn’t find three wise men OR a virgin.”
For one I had no feelings—good or bad—for anyone in this violent psychological thriller. I don’t care how much starpower they threw at me.
This is simply a PULP FICTION wannabe that just doesn’t cut it.
What a shame, because it could’ve been so much better.
The film opens in several theaters this evening at 10:00 p.m. then plays everywhere starting on Friday.
THE COUNSELOR gets a C- grade.
(Reviewed at AMC’s Ward Parkway Theatre)
JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. and 8:40 a.m. on KMBZ FM & AM / And anytime on Time Warner-Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411.