Paul Wilson: That Crazy George Zimmerman & His Gun

la-na-nn-zimmerman-investigation-20130911-001Your well-coiffed scribe has been busy the last 2 weeks hiring 23 new employees and starting the largest relocation currently going on in the nation…

So I apologize for the recent lack of stories, but not having the patience to sit through one more Tommy tome without jumping out my own window, I told my editor if I had to quit my job, I’d write something this week just to give myself something to read.

And then, what comes along but our old pal, George Zimmerman. Since being found not guilty in the Trayvon Martin trial, George has been getting more press than Lindsay Lohan and for equally bizarre reasons.

Monday, in an effort to prove he’s not a racist, he threatened his wife and father in law with a gun.

Or did he?

It’s been a roller coaster summer for our boy. He skates on the murder charges but days later is stopped by Texas’ finest on suspicion of speeding, 20 miles East of Dallas. On the dash cam the officer can be heard saying, “Just take it easy. Go ahead and shut your glove compartment. Don’t play with your firearm.”

2013.09.05-mrconservative-52291330c9379In that brush with the law, Zimmerman was released without a ticket; smart on the officer’s part. I wouldn’t want to agitate Zimmerman any more than needed. He has a history, you know.

The cop got by without being shot after asking George to not play with his gun; good thing Texas cops don’t wear hoodies…could have gotten ugly.

Then two weeks ago George’s wife, Shellie, filed for divorce. We all know how testy those situations can get, so George heads over to pick up some things and it got heated before he even got out of his car.

One thing led to another and his wife called 911.

One of the first things Shellie tells the dispatcher was her husband had his hand on his gun as he sat in his car outside the home she was at with her father. She reported being scared because she “wasn’t sure what Zimmerman was capable of doing.”

There’s your first lie, Shellie, of course you know what he’s capable of, you’re married to him. You do remember that little trial, don’t you?. However my first thought was, how’d she see the gun from the house if he was in his car?

Then I thought, maybe she’s confused the terms “gun” and “weapon” and that’s where the 911 call and subsequent accusations came off the tracks. Remember that old Marine’s line, “This is your weapon, this is your gun.” So Zimmerman may not have had his hand on a “weapon” at all. Possibly that’s what she meant when she said she didn’t know what he was capable of.

zimmerman7n-3-webAlas, I listened to the 911 call where she’s sobbing and repeating “Oh my God. He may start shooting at us.”

“He punched my dad in the nose…He continually has his hand on his gun and he keeps saying, ‘Step closer.’  He’s just threatening all of us with his firearm.”

The police arrive on scene and this time Zimmerman was immediately taken into “investigative custody.” No 44 days of freedom on the street that he enjoyed during the Trayvon incident while the cops mulled it over.

Police did their investigation and said while, “a gun was found in the home, it was not a part of the altercation,” adding “domestic violence can’t be invoked because she has changed her story and says she didn’t see a firearm.”

With that, George Zimmerman was “free to go” at 4:45 pm, but police stated they would hold onto his firearm.

Now, I’m no stranger to soon-to-be ex-wives who makes outrageous claims of things that never happened, but what up with this guy? Is George the consummate victim, is he always in the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time? Is he a certifiable nut case,..or all the above?

Has Zimmerman been so scarred by the Trayvon incident that he will be forever marked in society and so psychologically damaged as a person that he may never find his center or any version of normality. Is this the course of his life from now on?  Living under the microscope of the media?

For Second Amendment supporters, Zimmerman shouldn’t be the concealed carry poster child. He’s done more to support the gun control nuts than anyone in recent memory, mainly because of the racial component.

But just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse than Zimmerman with a gun, I give you Iowa. In an effort to stand behind the acrostic, “Idiots Out Wandering Around”, they have decided to issue concealed carry permits to…… wait for it….. wait for it….


In 2010, Iowa became a “shall-issue” state. That meant Iowa residents could get a gun permit so long as they did not have a criminal background or history of mental illness. They can fill the application out on line and don’t even need hands on firearm training.

It’s come to the attention of Iowa officials that blind as well as sight impaired people have applied for and received permits.

Caught in the hallway for a short interview after failing his MENSA exam, Patrick Clancy, Superintendent of the Iowa Braille and Sight Saving School in Vinton, Iowa stated, “I have some reservations about full access for people who are blind, because shooting requires a lot of vision to be accurate outside of controlled settings with safety courses.”

For those of you who nodded off or temporarily left my story to read another Tommy Morrison story, I’ll repeat.

He said he has some reservations about blind people having a permit, because “shooting requires a lot of vision to be accurate.”

That’s it; I’ve got nothin. You can’t make this crap up, no one would believe it.
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45 Responses to Paul Wilson: That Crazy George Zimmerman & His Gun

  1. harley says:

    come on…stop!!!!!
    I’m on the floor laughing!!!!
    please stop!
    are you serious?
    come on Wilson. Lets have one more story about jardines/ Zambia/
    the stalker/
    this news is a week late!!!!!
    stop insulting my good buddy hearne!~

    • Orphan of the Road says:

      How about the bet you proposed to me? For that matter any of the others which you have reneged on in the past?

      We can meet at Sammy Gallo’s place if that fits your modus operandi better.

      I’ll be having drinks with Lamar Hunt’s favorite NE son this weekend while you pontificate about things you imagine or hallucinate.

      • paulwilsonkc says:

        Thanks, Orphan. Hold out $3.95 from that bet and buy your short bus friend a Hallmark paper planner so he’ll know a story that broke Monday and continues to play out today isn’t a week old.
        It’s just embarrassing; delusions of adequacy.

      • cheech says:

        Orphan, forget your bet, he promised me weeks and months ago to provide a link to his national blog he writes for. You know, the one where he gets 250 comments.
        Force him to come clean, but one at a time please. Im ahead of you in that line so take a seat till he gets honest on that one first.

        • Orphan of the Road says:

          I will wait my turn, cheech.

          Expecting anything but drivel coming from his secret bunker, beneath the sludge drying beds of the Overland Park Sewage Plant is folly.

          We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

        • harley says:

          no money broke boy ….no information..if
          you want to see my stuff…getyour pennies
          10K cash….put in escrow…you can get with
          orpah and lets finalizethe bet…

          • Orphan of the Road says:

            Go placidly
            Amid the noise and waste.
            And remember what comfort there may be
            In owning a piece thereof.
            Avoid quiet and passive persons
            Unless you are in need of sleep.
            Ro-tate your tires.

            Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
            And heed well their advice,
            Even though they be turkeys.
            Know what to kiss…..and when!

            Consider that two wrongs never make a right
            But that THREE………do.
            Wherever possible, put people on hold.
            Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
            And despite the changing fortunes of time,
            There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.

            Remember the Pueblo.
            Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late.
            Know yourself.
            If you need help, call the FBI.
            Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
            Especially with those persons closest to you.
            That lemon on your left, for instance.
            Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
            Would scarcely get your feet wet.
            Fall not in love therefore;
            It will stick to your face.
            Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
            The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
            And let not the sands of time
            Get in your lunch.
            Hire people with hooks.
            For a good time call 606-4311;
            Ask for “harley.”
            Take heart amid the deepening gloom
            That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
            And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
            It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
            You are a fluke
            Of the universe.
            You have no right to be here.
            And whether you can hear it or not
            The universe is laughing behind your back.
            Therefore, make peace with your god
            Whatever you conceive him to be—
            Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
            With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
            The world continues to deteriorate.
            GIVE UP!

          • paulwilsonkc says:

            Orphan, in the words of my old friend Garrison, are you sure you’re getting enough ketchup?

  2. the dude says:

    This is my weapon and this is my gun
    This one’s for fightin’ and this one’s for fun.

  3. Trisha McReynolds says:

    Your way with words, pithy insights and twisty (not twisted ) sense of humor has successfully withstood your numerous demands, including the elephantine move.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Coming from an obviously bright and insightful “C” level young lady, I thank you. Im grateful you know the truth inspite of the occasional low IQ commenter on here. Have a great day my friend.

  4. Puggles says:

    Racist? Misogynistic? Unfunny? Why it’s another spewing of Paul Wilson drivel!

    You couch things so much I can hardly see straight.

    Paul Wilson molests infants.


    • paulwilsonkc says:

      WOW, Puggles, tough day down on the farm?
      I hardly know where to start!

      I LOVE women, this Shellie chic just happens to be a liar and that’s not my fault. Check with the Trisha girl above, I think she’d acknowledge while I may exhibit poor taste from time to time, I’m a long way from a misogynist, but I do appreciate you spelling it correctly. You get bonus points for that.

      Zimmerman was blamed for being racist in the Trayvon shooting, remember? As a matter of fact, if I had a son, he would look like… no, never mind, you may take that wrong.
      So, did pointing out what he said makes me racist, or my funny line in an attempt for him to not LOOK racist where I said he threatened his wife and father in law with a gun? He’s partially Hispanic and white, I’m not sure what his girlfriend is, she looks hispanic, but I’m just tired of the racist card being pulled for anything and everything.

      And if you still don’t think thats funny, it’s made funnier because he didn’t threaten them at all; that evil, soon to be ex-wife made it all up!
      (That comment was not misogynistic, so just stop right there!)

      So I’m not sure how Im racist, but insults look better in three’s, so you get design and balance points.

      This hurt me, Puggles; I actually laughed out loud to myself (“LOL’d”) as I wrote this, so I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy it. I did and that’s the only reason I spew this drivel, for my own personal enjoyment.
      I go back and read my stories over and over, I love them, I wish you did too.

      Cute play on the “molesting infants” line, but I was actually you using my line “Or did he?” to show, again, Zimmerman did nothing wrong, so that weak sauce is actually apples and applesauce.

      I’m sorry you didn’t get hugged enough as a child; maybe the day will get better. I’d like to stay and chat, but I have more drivel to think up, I’m late writing my next spewfest.

    • harley says:

      get the $10,00 cash together orphan.
      then we can talk.
      til then we have no bet.
      contact me….lets get this going.
      haven’t got time to waste on this.
      I want the $10,000 cash in escrow….email me for details and
      i’ll prove everything.
      but til you get the money….stfu.
      who’s Sammy gallo.. gallo fruit company. Don’t know who you’re
      talking about…give me more information….if he’s from kc chances
      are very good we know him…
      see ya at game. we’re sitting with the bank people.
      thanks…have fun.

      • Orphan of the Road says:

        I have the money, your knowledge of NE is pitiful.

        I have to wait in line until you make good on the other gazzillion lies and “guarantees” you have made to cheech and others.

        Of course you will wiggle around like the worm you are and never make good on anything you have said.

        I’ve got the money, cash, and we will meet in a public place with witnesses.

        Ball, as always, is in your court.

        • harley says:

          send i.d info to
          we will need cash….
          I will give you instructions there..
          public place (preferably bank where the money
          is held )
          I have arbitrator set up….I will order property
          appraisals….put together all information…once
          money is in escrow and all paperwork signed.
          plus will make public all “other” public information
          but nothing happens til you send me contact (prefereable an attorney you have) to sign paperwork.
          I will provide all appraisals/blog sheets/public
          information (this will be interesting) and an
          independent source will be brought in.
          in your email you can outline what items you
          feel are needed to prove my claims and I will
          provide all those at time of meeting in either
          bank or at the arbitrators office downtown.
          thanks…appreciate that we get this done quickly
          since I leave town in 4 days….
          can you email me info by Friday 8am?

          appreciate your working on this today and we
          get this completed on Monday…
          headed to vegas…will put the 10g to good use!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • harley says:

            if you need to verify my friends/family
            connections from the old northeast…feel
            free to ask about them..
            now the arrangements are in your court.
            nothing happens til both of us put money
            into escrow account..winner takes all!

        • Libertarian says:

          You know how you form this mental picture in your head of folks you’ve never met? Then, when you do finally meet them, you make that quick comparison to see how far off you were?

          I have a feeling Harley looks exactly like the picture in my head.

          • Orphan of the Road says:

            My condolences to your head for having that image.

            Perhaps that is why Oedipus put out his own eyes, had a vision of harley?

      • mark smith says:

        Your moms calling, your pudding skin roll ups are ready.
        All bs aside, you are the single biggest liar and coward on the internet. While you are at the bank, escrow a sack of dicks.

    • harley says:

      wow….puggles doesn’t like this story either!!!!!!!!!!

      puggles is pissed!!!!!!!

  5. Dreamwriter326 says:

    Hey Paul, completely off subject, but since you’re a music guy I was wondering if you have heard of a woman named Charlotte Embry, whose band performs a lot these days at Danny’s Big Easy at 18th and Vine. She’s supposed to be on X Factor either tonight or tomorrow night, and after seeing her a few times in the last month or so, I will be shocked if she is an early exit.


    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Hey, Dream, thanks for the comment and, no, I have no idea who she is; thats pretty embarassing. I dont go down to Danny’s enough. Chelle has sung down there a few times when Dave Stephens is in town with his band, but thats about it. I’m going to go check her out now.
      You know how to find me, lets hook up and go catch some music some night! I’ll buy you a drink.

  6. chuck says:

    Paul, I was laughing at your column and thought of an old joke. Once I get the giggles I can’t stop laughing.

    A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
    He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
    The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
    The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”
    The robot slaps the son.
    The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
    Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
    Son says, “Toy Story.”
    The robot slaps the son.
    Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”
    Dad says,”What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”
    The robot slaps the father.
    Mom laughs and says,”Well, he certainly is your son.”
    The Robot slaps the mom.

    The Robot is for sale.

    There is a movie out right now, called “Jayne Mansfield’s Cadillac”. There is a dinner table scene in there, where the dad (It’s 1969) tells his kid to SHUT UP that made me sick from laughing. It’s almost as good as the scene in “Saturday Night Fever” where everyone is slapping each other across the mashed potatoes.

    Sorry, it’s your fault for making me laugh.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Chuck, if I’ve made you laugh with my spewing drivel, my work here is complete.
      I would ask but one favor; please go talk to Puggles and see what’s up with her. I think she needs some cheering up.
      Your Racist, Misogynistic, Unfunny Yet Well-Coiffed Scribe

      • Libertarian says:

        You forgot ‘charismatic’…..

        • paulwilsonkc says:

          Lib, I can’t recall that word ever being used in conjunction with me! Plus, like I told Puggles, I like insults in 3’s, its like interior design, it makes for better balance. If you add “charismatic” , thats 4 an my OCD kicks in.

  7. harley says:

    it appears that George z. is doing some domestic abusing….
    your hero ain’t no hero. and it appears he’s a con artist. and
    he’s not paying his court debts.
    hmmmm….more comments later boys.

    It appears that George Zimmerman may have conned the cons. After his recent altercation with his wife, his attorney, Mark O’Mara told ABC News in a September 10th interview that he would no longer be representing Zimmerman. That shouldn’t be surprising, considering that Zimmerman was almost arrested outside of the home of his estranged wife earlier in the week for an alleged domestic violence incident. While some media sites have claimed that the police stated Zimmerman didn’t have a gun, these reports, according to Zimmermans’s own attorney, are false. In an interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, O’Mara said that Zimmerman was in possession of a weapon when he went to his wife’s home.

    What might be surprising, however, is that O’Mara may not have dropped Zimmerman because of his tendency to get into trouble with the law. During the ABC interview, when O’Mara was asked if he had any advice for his former client, he said this:

    “Pay me.”

    Read more:

    • cheech says:

      come on…stop!!!!!
      I’m on the floor laughing!!!!
      please stop!
      are you serious?

      this news is a week late!!!!!
      Stop insulting my friend Paul.

  8. Libertarian says:

    Paul, you pretty much pegged Zimmy for the miserable soul he will be for the rest of his life.

    I think he has more than one demon in his head, and they seem restless.

    How long do you think its been since Zimmy got a good nights sleep?

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Gosh, Lib, there are no doubt a host of demons in there. For one, he seems to be a frustrated cop-wanna-be. When they wouldn’t take him, next stop, neighborhood watch captain. Vocationally, personally at a loss.
      Seems to be a lost soul and recent acts can only add to the jumbled soup that is his brain.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      PS – you do realize that by siding with me on my story in any way leaves Puggles calling you out as well, as Racist, Misogynistic and Unfunny, dont you?

  9. mark smith says:

    I think zimmerman defended himself that night and the acquittal was just. That said he is an idiot for staying in Florida. Bernie Goetz blasted 4 $hit heels on a subway, and faded into obscurity. He rescues injured squirrels in central park. True story. Zimmerman seems to have bought into the hype that he is a symbol for taking a stand against violent criminals. He isn’t. He is just a chubby nimrod who is lucky he didn’t get his pistol turned on him. He will be dead or in prison if he doesn’t take that bullshit down a notch.

    • the dude says:

      Delusuional tendencies gonna catch up with you sooner or later.
      I am looking at harlinator and georgie with an unblinking stare.

  10. harley says:

    come on dogs….lets put the money up…
    orphan of the losers…..send me what info is needed for the bet…
    come on douchebag…i’m gonna bust your bank.
    likeyou and chucklesthe sad lonely clown…the little bald writer….cheech
    the church mouse….and dave….put up or shut up fools…
    lets get in going…
    winner takes all.
    all your insults mean nothing to me….you’re losers…and can’t back
    up and of the talk with money……..your bulls*t walks.

    • Orphan of the Road says:

      Your own words and failure to back up one thing you have said prove you are a travesty.

      A travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.

      harley’s lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

      Blather away and continue to hang yourself with your own words.

      • paulwilsonkc says:

        It’s interesting, he’s promised to prove his “nationul blog writing” for literally months. Now he wants to incorporate that into a bet as well. Why do we waste the time on this? The only difference between Harley and a bag of bullshit is the bag.
        I’ve emailed him proof of who I am; five friends have asked for his pro ported newsletter; zip. Nada. Nothin. Figures.

        • paulwilsonkc says:

          Make me a liar, Asshat. You said you wrote for a national blog. You said you’d post the link for months.

          2. POST MORE BS, accusations and hate but NO BLOG LINK = HARLEY IS A LYING FRAUD.

          End of story.
          No BS.
          No more bloviating and false accusations.
          There’s your line in the sand.
          No options.
          Do it or STFU.
          There are NO MORE OPTIONS for you!

Comments are closed.