Jack Goes Confidential: ‘The To Do List’ – Cherry Pickin’ Good Time @ the Movies


An equal opportunity teen sex comedy from a GIRL’s point of view. Think of it as a female PORKY’s meets AMERICAN PIE with lubed doses of SUPERBAD.

THE TO DO LIST is the anti SIXTEEN CANDLES comedy that heads straight into what up until now was forbidden territory—namely ueber-raunch female coming of age adventures.

“You can’t swallow. Do you know how many calories jism has?”

Granted it’s not the first – 2011’s trailblazer BRIDESMAIDS did much to open previously untouched (female) subjects.

And this summer’s THE HEAT certainly raised the bar on girls talking badly.

But here director and writer Maggie Carey (wife of co-star Bill Hader) elevates the film into the Talk REALLY Dirty catagory and targets it squarely at women age 17 to 34.

THE TO DO LIST setting is 1993 where high school valedictorian Brandy (Aubrey Plaza) decides to shed her uptight image before entering college.

Hence (virgin) Brandy assembles a to-do list of all the activities she’s missed out on in high school. And she gets it all done while working as a lifeguard at the local swimming pool which is managed by slacker-boss Bill Hader.

the-to-do-list-scott-porter“You’ve GOT to pop the cherry before going to college.”

So it’s not a great surprise, all of the things she conquers on the list. Here are just a few as probed in the film:

Necking, getting felt up, teabagging, dry humping, motorboating, a rim job, blow job, pearl necklace, back door, finger bomb, booby bang, masturbation, dry hump and, of course, the always mandatory hand job. And the list happily continues….even though I won’t.

About that hand job, it happens in a movie theater with the aid of a squirt of butter—or whatever it is they top off your popcorn with these days.

(I had hoped for the bottomless popcorn box, but it was not to be.)

Ironically the movie’s original—and working title—WAS ‘The Hand Job.’ But practicality must have set in by the film’s distributor who probably realized that a title like that would’ve been nixed by most media.

320822_004“OK, let’s go to work, Vagina.”

All that plus a solid soundtrack of 90’s hits and nice performances by other members of the fun cast including Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Andy Samberg, Connie Britton and Clark Gregg as Brandy’s parents, Bill Hader, male hunk Scott Porter as Rusty and Brandy’s skanky sister Amber nicely served up by Rachel Bilson.

You’ll laugh, you’ll wince at some of this stuff, but in the end you’ll leave the theater with a nostalgic smile on your face while wondering just how much further Hollywood can push an R-Rating.

THE TO DO LIST grades a solid C. Oh, and keep an open mind.

(Reviewed at AMC Town Center, Leawood)

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES is Kansas City’s longest running movie magazine. Weekly On Line / On Radio / 

This entry was posted in Jack Poessiger. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Jack Goes Confidential: ‘The To Do List’ – Cherry Pickin’ Good Time @ the Movies

  1. the dude says:

    Fast Times at Ridgemont High 90’s version?

Comments are closed.