Hearne: Scribe Debuts as ‘Pitch’ Cover Boy Tonight @ 10

Craig & GrrrlDon’t look now but notorious KC bad boy Craig Glazer – a KC Confidential refugee – is this week’s Pitch cover boy…

Courtesy of Pitch music and entertainment main man David Hudnall. The Scribe tells me the curtain will part sometime after 10 p.m. tonight on the alt weekly’s website – print pubs to follow tomorrow.

What to expect?

Pretty much anything and everything, since it appears Hudnall spent the better part of a month running down everybody from me to Craig’s dad, to the odd ex and however many Hollywood types.

Any shockers?
“Well, David witnessed a couple incidents that I don’t know if he’s going to write about,” Glazer says. “He was at Stanford’s one night and he’d wanted to go hang out with me – go on a date or to a strip club – and we were still in the office when my door came flying open and there was a girl named Whitney. She’s a girl I used to date who used to have a Playboy Playmate, Anna Nicole Smith type body, but I hadn’t seen her in a while and she’d been drinking. So there she was, boobs hanging out in a little, bitty dress and she yelled, ‘I’ve got a cab out there and it’s $82 and I told him my boyfriend would pay for it’ – that being me.

“And I was a little embarrassed in the middle of an interview with the club full, so I went outside to talk to the cabdriver and left David in my office. Then when I got outside I saw all these police around my Lotus and I said, ‘What are you doing?’ and they said, ticketing it. So I started explaining to the cop that it was OK for me to park there (illegally) and now I was in the middle of three issues. I was going to move my car and the cop said, ‘If you touch that car I’ll arrest you because you’ve been drinking.’

“I told him I hadn’t been drinking and that made me mad. Plus they were going to tow it, and all of a sudden four cops showed up along with a tow truck. But my car wasn’t in a tow in zone – it was just in a spot in the parking lot with yellow stripes, meaning don’t park there – but I’ve parked there many times.

Exige Sport 240“Then my brother Jeff came out and calmed the cop down and one of the cops finally knew me. What was funny was the cab driver was yelling at the cops the whole time that he wanted his $82. And big-boobed Whitney had left and gone to Dave & Busters. And since she had no money, she was mooching free drinks at the bar with four middle aged women by saying, ‘My boyfriend owns Stanford’s. Let’s go there and I’ll buy your drinks.’ So next thing I know, there she is running up a big tab in the front bar at Stanford’s.

“And finally the cops decided they weren’t going to tow the Lotus and just wrote me a $30 parking ticket and Jeff moved the car. Then Jeff said, ‘We don’t need anymore trouble, so he gave the cabbie a one hundred dollar bill and he left happy.

stanfordslook“But Hudnall didn’t see any of that. So I went back to the office and was talking to David when Jeff stuck his head in and said, ‘I’m going to have Whitney arrested.’ Hudnall didn’t really know what was going on and it was too hard for him to catch up, but from what I understood, that’s the beginning of his story about me.

“So I went out to the front bar with Jeff and Jeff yelled, ‘I’m going to call the cops,’ and Whitney took off like an Olympic sprinter leaving the four women at the bar. And they were embarrassed because they didn’t know what was going on – it was like the Keystone Cops. And Hudnall said, ‘Yeah, you really should have a reality show’ but he didn’t see half what was going on.”

Check out the half Hudnall did see and/or hear tonight or on a news rack near you Wednesday!

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60 Responses to Hearne: Scribe Debuts as ‘Pitch’ Cover Boy Tonight @ 10

  1. Super Dave says:

    I’m sure the comments will be a riot to read and not a damn thing Craig can do about.

    • the dude says:

      And just when we all theought the Pitch had hit rock fuggin’ bottom, there it is.
      Sayonara Pitch.

  2. King Dong says:

    yeah I think I’ll pass. Sort of like sausage being made: nobody really wants to know.

  3. King Dong says:

    also someday the cops aren’t going to buy that “I’m Craig Glazer” nonsense and bust his head clean open unless they find that Lotus wrapped around a pole first.

  4. Jess says:

    Jesus that picture is creepy. I feel like praying or something. To that girl, I hope riding in a lotus is worth VD, Happy scratching!!!!

    • cheech lifting his pud says:

      These girls all look like they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, they know he’s the captor, but through that hallow stare, you can tell the substance that got added to their last drink has left them powerless to react.

      • the dude says:

        They are just waiting for their opportunity to flee the scene and scrub themselves down in a 3 hour shower with Brillo pads. That’s what that look in their eyes is.

  5. Davey Jones Locker says:

    If anything has proven the trend in dumbing down of America it is reality TV. Now the trickle down to print media is like the notary stamp to certify a moron.

    • CG says:

      wow did someone write about you loser Davey, fake name guy who has done nothing in life that matters. Swallow this dip shit, how many of the couple million people in this town get a cover of any of our few rags. Not many. I’ve had many front page KC Star stories and now this, its very cool and kind of the Pitch to give me this kind of attention. You and the other haters are just that, nothings. Never were. As your lives end, WHO CARES. Thats the dif, Davey, so the only moron is you my little toad stool punk. I eat punks like you for breakfast. Always did. You would tremble in my presence and have nothing to say to me, due to your great fear of what would happen next. You can always come try it. But NONE OF YOU HATERS EVER HAVE OR WILL, WHY COWARDS AND PUNKS. Always were and always will be, enjoy the article and pretend you did one millionth of any of that. Was that too harsh?

      • Super Dave says:

        Man you are such an loser. And every time you open your mouth you prove it

      • Davey Jones Locker says:

        HAHAHAHA You had your chance.. White Toyota Tundra next time you pull out in front of someone on Buena Vista hurry your pedal car along. I’m not hard to find just down the street stop on by I’ll be happy to whip your a$$.

        You flaunt your ignorance and my name isn’t important neither is yours. As for my accomplishments I’ve built schools, shaped young minds, made my way and did so with grace and dignity. I don’t need a Lotus, a bimbo, name dropping has beens, and my brother to come bail me out of the consequences of poor judgment.

        Quake in your presence hardly your not worth my time and I’ve out grown school yard bullies with the mindset of a barking ankle biting dog.

        • Davey Jones Locker says:

          Actually let me make a correction.. is it worth my time to know that I can get a rise out of a chauvinistic pig with a god complex. YOU BET!! Truth hurts when it slams you in the face in black and white doesn’t it?

          • cheech lifting his pud says:

            “I eat punks like you for breakfast. Always did. You would tremble in my presence and have nothing to say to me, due to your great fear of what would happen next. You can always come try it. But NONE OF YOU HATERS EVER HAVE OR WILL, WHY COWARDS AND PUNKS”

            This is what happens when Craig goes unedited.
            The mind is a terrible thing and it must be stopped.

        • CG says:

          Bro then just hall your butt over, you know where I live I guess, why be the pussy you are? I’m busy I don’t look for some white car up and down the street. I’ll be home around five today, always nice to see a friend.

          • Davey Jones Locker says:

            What’s the matter there marathon runner don’t want to run up the street. Why should I come see you your the one with the chip you come see me pu$$y. Living in your gated community there ole timer. I’d stay put to might dislocate a hip

  6. CG says:

    Now you all have something to bitch about…begin…..we are all waiting. Notice at north of 50 the ladies, the stories, the excitement, that’s the reality, instead of hating, learn from it, maybe one little fun time will rub off on you. As for the nice readers, sorry for all the yelling.

    • the dude says:

      Please, Glazer tell me this is a very, very, very long con and you are just pulling our legs. If not, you really are a sad, sad man.

  7. Bob in Eudora says:

    I just threw up in my mouth.

  8. smartman says:

    Don’t waste your time with the insanity, of trying to comprehend this turd of humanity, who only exists to feed his own vanity, more friggin annoying than Sean Hannity.

    Twinkle twinkle little star,lotus position lotus car.
    Understand that by his nature a muffin top is a hottie in his nomenclature.

    False head of hair false sense of pride why not he instead of Gandolfini who died. Herpes infested steroid raged another animal that needs to be caged, heard he and harley just got engaged

    Big time player in a small town market. Don’t even understand how to car-park-it.
    Soars through his sky like a big bald eagle lookin for beaver, barely legal. Hefner and Flynt rolled into one that’s all for me I’m out I’m done.

    NOT!

    Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee I’m 157 to your 103. I take up so much space in your head you oughta buy me a sleep number bed. Talk all you want, talk is cheap, when it comes from you, you steaming heap.

  9. CG says:

    What a collection of low life punks and jealous animals. I really wish I could meet every one of you, it would be a joy.

    • Super Dave says:

      Careful what you wish for the end results might be your demise

      • Jess says:

        No kidding.

        Is he wanting to fight everyone? I mean how hard would it be to kick the shit out of a 65 year old guy that is so hopped up on coke that he cannot function?

    • Hot Carl says:

      You’re the biggest pussy on the planet. The biggest talkers always are.

      • CG says:

        Thanks for sharing information on YOU GUYS. I showed up for my action with smartcoward he didn’t and nobody else has either, like you Hot Punk is a better title for you loud mouth.

        • Hot Carl says:

          More talk just proves my point. Blowhards are the biggest pussies of all. Not to mention the most insecure.

  10. cheech lifting his pud says:

    Wow. What a deranged story tracking the life of a reprobate, clearly being made fun of half the time in the story and Craig’s take away from that; he’s the F’in cover boy of the F’in failing F’in Pitch and you F’in losers can suck it.
    Actually, by the end of the story I felt sorry for him; you get the idea if the movie doesn’t get made he’s on the Don Harmon Memorial Highway exit ramp of life, one helium tank away from the peace that has eluded him all 60 years.
    Summary; a shallow life is still shallow, even if you’ve got whores and a sports car.

  11. Andrew says:

    He really is a legend in his own mind, isn’t he? Would be hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic.

    Well, doesn’t have to be one or the other, I guess. It’s also pretty funny.

  12. b12 says:

    Holy crap. Glazer is a flame that burns pretty hot, drawing all kinds of moths; including the haters, wannabes, and skanks.

    I don’t know the guy, but he’s entertaining; and I don’t think he’s hurting anyone.

    Is he full of himself? Yeah. If you don’t know that by now, you’re pretty damn dumb.

    Although, his sports ramblings are incoherent at best. There…there’s some hate for CG.

  13. paulwilsonkc says:

    Craig, I think a lot of the comments you see are based in something other than hate. You have multiple lifestyles that come at you from multiple commenters, no matter what ones decision is, how they decide to approach life, and yours is, granted, on the fringe of most.
    I get your point, 20 months ago I married a gorgeous girl, 16 years younger than me, but age wasnt the objective, it just happened to be who I was introduced to. Common interests and mutual attraction led to a marriage. I’d been out there single for 10+ years and that scene gets really old, no matter who you are.
    Most people’s points of view, I would venture to guess, comes from one of them thinking, but not saying, the obvious.
    1. YOUR game and how you play it, can not and will not sustain itself till your last breath. It ends. It really does end. You’re not going to be 75 doing the same things.
    2. Short of a sustaining, loving relationship with something that looks like a family unit or bond of some form, those out years are going to look really, really lonely.
    I’d venture to say most haters aren’t really haters, I think they see it from a different pardigm, and, somewhere in their heart of hearts, have some level of empathy and compasion for what lies ahead more than what you are doing now.
    Hanging out down on the condo, sitting on the bow of my boat with a drink, isn’t going to be nearly as much fun when I’m trying to find some young thang to just BE there with me. A relationship that involves someone who is also your best friend makes those years a lot more interesting. Just my opinion.
    And, different people do different things for a living. You can bring in the “Screech’s” of the world and make a great living; I have a day job working with the biggest names in local corporations and sports teams, but my real fun is the art we create and doing First Fridays each weekend. There’s a lot of people who wouldn’t get that. But both venues provide an outstanding living, it just doesnt match with everyones taste and people poke holes in things they dont understand.
    Some people want to bash you for having a old name has been child star who is now making a living on stage telling jokes. Some people bash me for selling a $2000 piece of furniture turned into art. Its just a different strokes thing. We can stand in our venue and see about 5,000 each First Friday’s weekend who haul our stuff out of there like theres no tomorrow, but there are always the list of people who dont get it and, either openly or secretly, hate on you.
    Bottom line, I bet theres more a feeling of premature empathy.sympathy for what most people, me included, feel your life may be like a few years down the road when all the party lifestyle isnt possible any longer. Just my opinion, and you know what they say about those…

  14. Bob in Eudora says:

    Just finished reading the article. Not the type or quality of life most people want in my opinion. The article is almost mocking him. I think Paul hit the nail on the head. Seems like Craig is a sad clown. Time for an Eat, Pray, Love period in your life.

    • the dude says:

      Almost mocking? Hudnall straight out mocked and made complete fun of him- read the article again.
      Just like with the Louie episode where he said he hated KC because of his experience at Stanfords and made fun of it Glazer is not smart enough to realize Hudnall made him up to be a sorry, sick joke.
      It did not paint a bright picture, that’s for sure.

  15. harley says:

    again…you fools who hate this guys s couldn’t wait for the print issue to hit the
    streets to light up this site with your comments.
    Most of what was written is old hat…old stories if you’ve followed glazehere.
    So you bring out the same old worn out vile language comments and old worn
    out hateful word that is so old you’re boring the f*k out of us.
    From super dave whocleans pools…to smarmyman who we now know has
    not a pot to piss in and is infected with human feces cleaning out used hot tubs…
    to the others on here who haven’t written anything intelligent or backed by
    fact for years.
    seems you took all the old worn out vile comments about glaze you’ve written
    for years and just cut and pasted them on this story’s comments box.
    The questions remain why? For your own ego as you live a life of
    boredom and hate. your own personal satisfaction of a life less lived.
    It gets old when seniors with nothing to write about waiting by the mailbox
    for the govment check to arrive so they can pay for groceries
    go to kcc or tkc to post the same old tired garbage.
    And hearnewill edit my comments while he lets this nasty garbage
    on his site….hearne who made glaze famous over the years allows this
    trash talk to be published about his “good friend”. With friends like
    hearne…glaze needs to find some new friends!!!!!!!!! seriously.
    And its like the countdown til the on line article gets publicshed…
    wow!!!! and the kcc haters couldn’t wait to readthe story like it
    wasbreaking news.
    come on boys…lifes too short to be hung up with this crap……
    And then I get these threats to show pics of my house on you tube.
    What freaking idiot came up with this. Put my pic up…then come inside
    and see what hard work and brains can accomplish if you focus on
    working smart and never quitting. come on in…i’ll buy the beer and
    give youadvice on how to do something positive in life despite huge
    odds and starting with nothing.
    You haters are a mess. Sorry…I hate pessimistic people…they drag me
    down with their sad sack stories.
    Guys like the writer on here who is a big bull shitter and who wants
    others to think he’s upstanding when we all know his story. The same
    one with the excuses about everythingthat “went wrong” in his life …BORING!!!!!
    or the people who critique what I write without any facts or data to
    prove a point…then threaten to put videos of my house on the internet util
    they get scared sh8tless with they are faced with legal action that would
    make them a slave to me.
    come on boys…leave glaze alone…his story is known and nothing really
    new here.
    Go backto those beater trucks…the
    You all talk about “ignoring” me and glaze. But you can’t!!!!\
    Tell us about your life. Tel us something you’ve done. After 65 years
    there has to be something you’ve done. Maybe you built something like
    a shed in your background. Or moved the old toronado out of the front
    yard…maybe you even read a book or an article that we could dicuss
    on this site.
    Or maybe you’ve just done nothing to write about. We know who you
    are….there’s no secrets anymore. We know all your backgrounds and to
    be honest none of them come close to being even worth writing a single
    paragraph about.
    The pitch was a nice story…but left out some really important pieces
    of the dudes life.
    Will a movie be made…I doubt it…its old news…its not worth spending
    199 million bucks on….right now all the top stars seem to be busting…
    maybe 15 years it would have worked but right now its just another
    one of a million scripts that producers get every year.
    My uncle knew many of the top finance guys for the movie studios.
    Said that the big names would be eating dinner out in public and they’d
    have 2 or 3 people follow them and give them possible scripts. It would be
    cool for glaze’s story to be made…but having written for major blogs its
    probably too late. I’m on huffington post…daily kos…nothing huge but
    I do get lots of comments and intelligent conversation about events
    and issues that shape society…nothing huge…just another outlet for
    my left wing ideas that continue to be RIGHT ON TARGET!!!!!!!!!!!
    What would be cool is tht a local guy made a documentrary…maybe
    this cashill conspiracry kook…or maybe some of the independent
    producers around the Midwest.
    SO hang in there haters. Even I wonder about hearne. He claims he’s
    a long time friend of glazes…but he allows the filthy comments to be
    printed on his site…come on hearne…that’s not class…that’s hateful
    and spiteful. Since you lost your star platform with 400k readers
    its been stories about dead bars/basketball games tht will never happen/
    old worn out stories that just bore the heck out of people.
    Good luck boys….you’re going to need it….
    and remember…don’t play with fireworks.

    • the dude says:

      Go Away harlinator, I thought you made a promise to never come here again.
      Please live up to that promise and go the hell away.

    • admin says:

      I don’t edit you too often, H Man.

      As evidenced by this lengthy opus.

    • mike says:

      WOW! That was a really interesting, great read! About the only thing I can criticize about it is that it wasn’t long enough. Just when I was getting to really enjoy it, it was over. You should write a whole book!

    • Davey Jones Locker says:

      HAHAHAHA huff post.. RIGHT!!!! another legend in his own mind. Ironic part is you have bagged on everyone here hiding behind a false name like your pal. And yet you have made claim after claim of notoriety and journalistic accomplishment up and down the web with out ONE shred of proof. I emailed your law4life BS address and never got your newsletter. Avid reader of huffpost so fess up smart guy when’s your next post and what is the title?

      • Davey Jones Locker says:

        WAIT I stand corrected I found Harley’s story – 6 figure porn deal offered to Paula Deen by porn company. Polish up the Pulitzer Harley is on his way.

      • mike says:

        What are you talking about. I started getting his news letter a week ago and it changed my life. A week ago, I was a wage slave loser. After a week of following the advice I got on his news letter, I now own five companies. I went from living in a trailer to living in a mansion. I went from dating a fat girl with a mental disorder to going out with a different supermodel every night. Law4life has made me a new man!

        • Davey Jones Locker says:

          maybe I should check my spam blocker?

          • Super Dave says:

            Clean pools??????

            You lay in bed at night thinking this idiot shit up? You and Glazer both need to step back take a deep breath and just STFU. But sadly neither of you is smart enough to do so.

  16. harley says:

    oh give me a freaking break…the haters on kcc talking about” family
    values”………………what a freaking joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Mysterious J says:

    Did Hearne REALLY mention The Pitch without reminding everyone that he built it with his own hands?!?!

    • the dude says:

      I know man, the fingers probably started twiching REAL hard when he wanted to include that quip.

    • admin says:

      I didn’t build it, MJ.

      But I took it to the next level from record rag to alt weekly and talked the publisher out of shuttering it when he sold his record store to Streetside and Streetside declined to take the Pitch.

      Thanks for asking!

  18. Fresh says:

    “So I started explaining to the cop that it was OK for me to park there (illegally)”

    “But my car wasn’t in a tow in zone – it was just in a spot in the parking lot with yellow stripes, meaning don’t park there – but I’ve parked there many times.”

    What an entitled asshole.

  19. Lance The Intern says:

    I happened to be at the Legends with my family and we walked by as the cops/security were discussing what to do about Glazer’s car — so I can confirm that at least that much of the story is true.

  20. CG says:

    Paul that was interesting. Good points. Sure one day I will find, I hope, a lady to settle down with and try and enjoy those final years. My dad did, his wife is 40 years his junior, wow, Stan is 81 his wife is 42, been together for more than a decade, damn, that’s really a tough one.

    I lived my life. I don’t ask others to do what I did or even like what I did. As you stated most of us have done some crazy things to make it all worth living for I think. I just did a ton more, that’s all. America was built on men like me: Willing to risk it all on the game, the chance, the thrill of being outside the common game of life…outlaws, gunfighters, lawmen, and men like me and Woodbeck…..most died young….I just outran the coverage that’s all. I guess that’s a good thing. The fact I still matter says I’m more right than wrong. There is a little of Craig Glazer in all of us, even Smart Coward.

    • Jess says:

      Wow

      I bet the colors are amazing in planet Glaze. Like being on LSD

    • smartman says:

      Correction, was a little Glazer in me. Just finished lunch at PF Chang’s and took an exquisite dump. I’m Glazer free.

    • hardly says:

      their is defunitly a little glaze in mee……ewe haters are jus jellus

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Thanks for at least giving it some thought. I’m a lot nicer guy than your little buddy thinks or knows. I get the same treatment from him, see? Knows nothing about me, personal or vocational, other than gigantic assumptions he’s made from an intentional trail of breadcrumbs I’ve left, leading him down a wrong path. What he does with me is no different than you see from others.
      I’ve just adopted the position

  21. cheech lifting weights says:

    On a scale of 1 to 10 with one being Forest Whitaker after being awoken from a long nap and 10 being Robert Downey Jr. pre rehab, how coked out do you think Craig is right now?

    He’s been banging for 12 hours and ridin that train while tooting the horn…

  22. CG says:

    I have a wonderful idea, all you haters by six different names hook up, then make plans as a group to come to Stanfords one night. We all have a drink you can tell me off, explain your hate in person. Promise not to jack you up, unless one of you goes first…now thats a fair offer. You plan it, we’ll get you all in for free, pick a good show like Chris Kattan or Mencia….hows that gang….lets see if meeting me shuts any of you up a bit. Yes I’ll sign autographs for you all as well. How’s that?

    • the dude says:

      Mencia?!?! really?!?!?! Good show?!?!
      That joke stealing hack is lucky desperate yuk yuk shack people like you are around despite the fact HE STEALS MATERIAL FROM OTHER LEGITIMATE COMICS. Class ‘A’ joke stealing hack is what that guy is.

      No thanks, I don’t hate you Craig, so don’t worry- we don’t need to get together and bro hug it out.
      I just have pity for you because you think your “accomplishments” in life are things to be envied by other people.
      Trust me bub, I do not envy your sad, pathetic lifestyle. I pity it.

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