Paul Wilson: Scribe Tugs Rug, Unleashes Weak in Review

belcher-7Jovan Belcher Baby Daddy Custody Determined

Two fine families stepped forward in an attempt to claim the byproduct of Chiefs loser Jovan Belcher and his blasted to hell girlfriend Kasandra Perkins life of love. In defending who was best to take over the guardianship of the child and its substantial assets ($$$), we heard about 30 police calls to the Belcher mom’s home, coke and alcohol issues in  Perkin’s dad’s home and in the end, a Perkins cousin was the closest, viable relative they could find to raise bouncing baby Belcher.

The NFL trust will be managed by a qualified 3rd party. Which likely means the cousins won’t be buying any blingy new rims any time soon.

about_marycarolIt’s the End of the World, as We Know it

An Atchison, KS company, Vivos, is selling survival shelters for immediate occupancy. The firm develops and manages the survival shelters all over the world and plans an underground shelter and resort in Atchison. It’s a 2-million-square-foot limestone cave that will hold up to 5,000 people for a year. Preppers  -or people, who just love the constant climate – will drive their RVs into the cave and live in them as long as they are willing to pay $1,000 a foot for their parking space.

Vivos says the former military facility 130-feet underground will offer protection from super volcanoes, solar flares, asteroids, earthquakes, nuclear attack, and social anarchy.

Atchison has been on terrorist target lists ever since the opening of Nell Hills home décor and design store. I asked Nell Hills owner by phone this morning why that was and she replied, “They hate us because we are so French Country.”

Two KCC Scribes Outted as Racists, Possibly More

6a00d83451b1b869e20115706388da970b-320wiPaul D Wilson and Dwight Sutherland, both freelance writers for KCC, were identified by commenters, after two weeks of intense blog entries, as KKK members, racists, anti-Semites, along with charges that David Duke edits both of their columns prior to submission.

Wilson was arrested earlier this week at a Crossroads concert series after The Revivalists took the stage and announced they were from New Orleans. Allegedly, Wilson – seated in VIP of course – went into a rage and charged the stage screaming, “KATRINA!!! You had it COMING!!!”

He was released on his own recognizance after being questioned by Alvin Brooks and Alonzo Washington.

Neither could be reached for comment. Sutherland would not answer the door at his Mission Hills bunker; Wilson was reportedly at the beach hiding in his condo.

From Yoders to Yoopers

78Chieftain1Vernon and Goldie Hunt of Garnett, KS. decided to take a little trip from the land of the Amish to Dwight, IL in the ole motor home. Vernon is 91, Goldie, 89 – too old to even be allowed to live, by Harley’s standards – let alone pilot a Winnebago.

They left Monday, June 17th at 6am and were found Wednesday morning in Mio, Michigan, reportedly asking people for directions to get back to Kansas. They turned an 8 hour trip into about 15 hours, plus a ferry ride to get to the Upper Peninsula. Family members tried to reach the couple by cell phone but had been unsuccessful, said son, Jay Selanders after he got the good news.

Selanders says he expects his parents will go to Dwight to visit his aunt, as planned, since it’s much closer to Mio than Garnett. Vernon and Goldie promised to call the kids if they saw a “Welcome to Florida” sign on their way home to Garnett.

dish-tv-network-300x300Dish is Done

As predicted here by your “always right, all the time, 100% of the time always” well coiffed scribe, Dish officially threw in the towel late last night. Sprint also one upped them on the Clearwire bid, taking them out in the second round.

Dish formerly withdrew from the Sprint deal on its own. We told you here last week that was going to be the outcome; while Dish said they were still talking to Sprint, we told you they were really just talking to themselves.

Expect the deal to close in July. KCC will be at the shareholders meeting to give you first hand coverage of any news.

kaplanAlleged Stalker Eric Kaplan’s Next Appearance

Blue Valley North grad Eric Kaplan had a scheduling hearing this week and another next week. KCC will be in the courtroom and will report going forward as this story progresses. And trust me, it will progress. I plan to flog this thing like a Carthage, Missouri Precious Moments Folk Festival.

Your well coiffed scribe has been contacted by some very interesting people having first-hand accounts of activity that may very well come to light over the coming days concerning this case.

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35 Responses to Paul Wilson: Scribe Tugs Rug, Unleashes Weak in Review

  1. paulwilsonkc says:

    Positively brilliant! Please keep writing these pieces, you are a interesting blend of Hearne/Cowtown FYI and Lewis Black. You’re the kind of guy I’d like to hang out with. Email me at paul4life4ever@yoohoo.com; I’ll buy you a beer any time. Fabulous, just fabulous.

    • Paula Deen says:

      Hey Paul, do you think I should just fuc*in OWN it?

      Chuck does.

      • paulwilsonkc says:

        I’m with you girl; I’m 60 pounds overweight from watching your show, I’m not turning my back on you now!

        • chuck says:

          It’s all ahead flank steak baby!

        • hardly says:

          ewe shuld spent sum time inn the jim like me……get your self inn shape…….then ewe wil hav a moore positive outlook on thengs……..wil feel bttur abowt yourselve……four advise on geting inn shape….. low4rmoflife@aol.com

          • paulwilsonkc says:

            Hardly, I only work out based on what can be done from my recliner but I’d be glad to read your newsletter on said topic. You have one on every topic , I mean, no ones ever actually seen one, but I assume you really do, so I’ll just read about getting in shape.
            And hey, sorry about proving you wrong on that whole IRS scandal.
            Thanks for being one of my “devotees, readers and disc4ples”, I’m glad you’re a fan.

    • the dude says:

      Wilsun, the CG post pat on the back is all wrong, you have to sign it as anonymous.

  2. Danimal says:

    I see what you did there.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Danaminal, I apparently thought that was more discrete than it was; I’m sorry.

  3. Bob in Eudora says:

    Mr. Wilson:

    You are indeed a breathe of fresh air. Wanted to get my comment in before all the haters and losers start accusing you of being an attention seeking whore. You are indeed a man for all seasons, who along with Mr. Sutherland has made KCC a daily must read for me.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Bob, thank you, but wouldn’t the very nature of writing like this kind of qualify one as an attention seeking whore?
      I appreciate your kind words; thanks for reading.
      (They LIKE me, they REALLY LIKE ME!!)

    • hardly says:

      his righting is ok butt not ass gud as mine……..eye took jurnulism at mu……gradiated top inn mi classs…..hav fourgotten moore abowt righting than wilsun nose…….four reel gud righting……. low4rmoflife@aol.com

  4. big rimmed gal says:

    Anyone that would even hint at improper racial slants within your written word is Crazy! By the way, do you know where I can pick up some “blingy new rims” anytime soon?

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Gal, I send all my friends, of which you are now one, to Lona Brothers on the Blvd! Best shop in town for low rider builds and rims!

  5. smartman says:

    OH, now I get it. I thought big rimmed gal was harley talking about his anal fissures.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      I would have given anything to have NOT checked responses just before I sat down to eat. Thanks, Smarty.

  6. smartman says:

    Wilson, my awesome tipsters have confirmed that The Perv Pianist, Eric Kaplan has signed with the newly formed Glazer+harley management company, The Dude and Rug Administration LLC. It is still TBD if his stage name will be Glazerace, GLAY-zer-AHH-chee while counsel reviews potential trademark and prior use issues.

  7. rww says:

    Paul quit teasing us about the youtube videos about harley. What is the title and when can we watch them?

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Sorry, rrw, that’s not me. I’ve heard about it from two unrelated people, but I’m not part of it.

  8. rww says:

    Sounds like another tease to me.

  9. paulwilsonkc says:

    Couldn’t tell you, I have no idea.

  10. Super Dave says:

    ? then another ? but ? the whole thing

  11. dreamwriter326 says:

    Paul, that cousin is Jamaal Charles’ sister in law, a woman who has worked for several years at Dell. Her dad messed up but she seems to have her shit together. The ‘rims’ comment was a bit uncalled for and yes, racist. C’mon man, you’re better than that.

    • paulwilsonkc says:

      Dreamwriter, thanks for your comment. This goes back to guilt by association. I was just talking to someone about this very comment this morning. You’re an intellectual kinda guy, it’s pretty clear most all this piece was written with more humor and fun that news. The “rims” comment referenced back to one of Chris Rocks great bits about why blacks may have money but will never be WEALTHY like whites.
      First, we know that’s comedy; there are fabulously WEALTHY blacks, it was a joke. But he makes the point, whites invest and save, blacks get a little money and what do they do? They go buy RIMMMMS!! Now again, we know the custom wheel market isn’t supported by blacks who scraped together a G note and rush out to buy rims; it was a joke.
      The person I was talking to said it makes it ok because it’s a black talking about blacks. So I reminded him his next bit in the show is how he tells a white guy that he, Rock, isn’t racist. Why doesn’t he consider himself racist? Cause he hates all you cracker ass crackers! So there, he crosses that line in comedy.
      I wrote the whole piece kind of tongue in cheek. I know I’m not on stage, with a mic, at Glaysures House of Jokes, but it always is curious to me how that plays out. Rock = funny, Wilsun= racist.
      Yes, I know I’m not Chris Rock, but the message was the same. I don’t mind walking the edge and playing with words, but I wouldn’t call that racist unless you feel the same by Rock calling you a cracker ass cracker who he hates. Comedy or racism? It’s your call, I guess.

  12. smartman says:

    C’mon Wilson. The Belcher Baby story is just beginning. Only a matter of time before the court is petitioned by the family to have the trustee’s changed to “blacks” who will be more understanding of her needs for weaves, extensions, baby bling, some ink and yeah, ultimately rims.

    Probably start her own record label, Baby Rap, by the time she’s 5. Suge Knight will be her business partner.

    This story is like herpes. It ain’t going away.

  13. paulwilsonkc says:

    Smarty, Chuck, I get it and agree. I’m so diverse I try to get people to laugh and take themselves less serious using the words of Malcom X ( or is it TEN, I never get it right), by any means necessary.
    And you’re as right on Baby Belcher as we will be on the latest immigration reform act requiring 13 years for certain benefits to kick in. It’s not even passed yet and some liberals are crying foul; it’s like having your birthday and not getting your cake for 13 years. Well see that passed and an IMMEDIATE bill to give full rights and benefits, bypassing any waiting period for anything.

  14. Paula Deen says:

    Look, I am an old lady-. Sure, I have said the word Ni**er, just like every reporter in the MSMutlet, CNN MSNBC, you name it, EVERY, EVERY…, lets make sure we are clear on this, EVERY BLACK PERSON IN THE FUC*IN UNITED STAES OF AMERICA CAN SAY THIS WORD, but if it gets wheels in the disgusting, shill, liberal, hate America holier than thou, sanctimonious, “You are the BAD white person” media, then blood must be spilled in honor of Al, Jesse and the relentless que of civil rights scumbags who suck the life, the heartbeat and kill this country in a quest for more free money, based on more gangbangers.

    Chapter Jackson, in a parody, warns against a life on the dole. She is right wing, when it comes to social issues.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzspsovNvII

    She is dead on the money.

    Kill NOW!! Kill all Affirmative Action programs.

    NO MORE HANDOUTS!!

    Chapter Jackson, about 2:43, tells the truth.

    I know that I said the bad word.

    Go f&k urself

  15. Bob in Eudora says:

    Very unfortunate for you Paula. If you watched any of the CIA, NSA, FBI, IRS hearings on the Telly-Vision you would have learned how to answer embarrassing questions by simply saying

    1) I don’t know
    2) I don’t recall
    3) Perhaps, but I can’t say so with absolute certainty

    Honesty is the best policy. Never the best answer.

  16. paulwilsonkc says:

    That’s pickin funny, Bob in Eudora! Thanks for contributing.

Comments are closed.