Starbeams: KU Swats Boobs, Mission Traffic Ticket Explosion & Benny Hill

The University of Kansas Athletics Department doesn’t want to shut down @KUboobs on Twitter, they just want the site to stop selling merchandise with the word “KU” on it.  I have a simple fix:  Tell them all KU merchandise stands for “Kelly Urich!”  I’ve been associated with boobs for years.


And investigation by The Kansas City Star reveals Mission, Kansas hands out more traffic tickets than most cities three times the size of the small town.  And I work exactly half-way between the Mission Lamar’s and Krispy Kreme, so I’m at GROUND ZERO.

benny-hillThe NSA whistle blower went by the code name “Verax.”  That’s one less name Gwyneth Paltrow will have to choose from for her next kid.


Whole Foods is facing a boycott over its English-only work policy. Ironically, I got fired from Whole Foods for pretending to be Benny Hill in the cantaloupe section.

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Kelly Urich is the morning show host on The Point

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