American values with a side of humor…
You can’t make this crap up, who would believe it?
A Manhattan Mom hires a handicapped person to be their “tour guide”, as people in wheel chairs can take up to six guests with them, skip the lines and “fast pass” to the head of the pack. You can hire your own “cripple” for $130 an hour, $1,040 for the day from Dream Tours Florida.
“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours. You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge. This is how the one percent does Disney.”
I can imagine another quote from this Mother of the Year candidate; “Kids, don’t touch the cripple. Don’t talk to him and don’t look him in the eye. He’s not our friend, he’s just like your nanny except he can get us to the front of the line!”
A nude painting of Golden Girls Bea Arthur sold for $1.9 MILLION dollars at Christie’s this week. It sold to a phone bidder. Clearly the buyer didn’t want anyone to know who he was; how could you ever live that down? Arthur never sat for the painting; the artist worked off of a picture of her fully clothed and his imagination of what her 44 longs looked like.
Three Officers – all assigned to and some in charge of the Sexual Harassment and Assault Response Prevention (SHARP) / Equal Opportunity Program – were arrested recently. For what? Sexual harassment, what else?
There’s something to be said for consistency.
Lt. Col. Jeffrey Krusinski was charged with miscellaneous groping, Sgt. Gregory McQueen for allegedly running a prostitution ring and the sexual assault of another soldier while Lt. Col. Darin Haas, the manager of Fort Campbell’s program was charged with stalking his ex.
And while we’re on the topic of the military, the Air Force acknowledged this week it dumped the ashes of at least 274 service members into a Virginia landfill. A story in The Washington Post showed that 976 fragments from 274 military personnel were cremated, incinerated and taken to the landfill.
To make matters worse, the Air Force confirmed 1,762 additional unidentified remains were collected from the battlefield and disposed of in the same manner. According to the Post, those fragments had been “too badly burned in explosions to undergo DNA testing, pushing the total number of cremated fragments dumped in the landfill above 2,700.”
Former protocol was for remains to be buried at sea, but in these cases, something went wrong and apparently the landfill was closer. My heart goes out to the families of these brave men who gave it all and ended up getting dumped in the dump.
Once again this week, Kansas City has been shown to be the Mecca of fine parenting as a nine year old little girl was held captive in her basement for bladder control issues and a three year old was found wandering, trying to cross Truman Road at 5:20am in underwear. Why did the three year old cross Truman Road? To get to the other side!
Finally yesterday, Chris Mathews, with Reverend Al as his guest (just where does he preach, anyway?) says the reason everyone is upset about the IRS and are criticizing the White House for its scandals is because of racism.
We are sending Interstellar radio messages into space looking for intelligent life. Whoever is listening is laughing their asses off and putting us on the bottom of their vacation list.
Have a great weekend, Kansas City!