Hearne: IKEA Hit With Swedish Meatball Horse Meat Scandal

mister-edI’m no expert on horse meat…

But I’ve dished up my fair share of dog food over the years and I did just happen to try the “famous” IKEA Swedish Meatballs last week in Orange County. The ones the Star‘s Joyce Smith raved about.

Fifteen of em, to be exact.

So why did I consume 15 ultra bland meatballs if they weren’t really any good? Good question. You might say I was as hungry as a horse.

Not hungry enough to eat a horse mind you, but then that’s not how they were described on the menu.

That said, it comes as little surprise to me that the international home products company was hit today with a horse meat scandal involving its meatballs.

A culinary faux pas that MSN Money described as a “widening horse meat scandal” in Britain, Ireland, Italy and the Czech Republic.

While that’s a long way from Orange County (or Merriam, Kansas where IKEA plans to open in the next year or so), the thought that nobody at IKEA even noticed the equestrian fare from a taste standpoint, bolsters my contention that they’re far from what I would describe as gourmet.

172871538The same supplier also reportedly shipped meatballs to the good old U.S.A., but those products were unaffected, the company says.

But who’s to really say?

I mean, once the evidence, has been consumed.

“Our global recommendation is to not recall or stop selling meatballs,” an Ikea spokeswoman told the Associated Press.

Here’s what I will say…

If you think that something that can taste like horse meat is delicious, go for it. Head straight for IKEA’s bright blue and yellow warehouse on the hill at I-35 and Johnson Drive when it opens and let your imagination run wild.

Horse meat or no horse meat, based on my personal experience, you won’t miss it by much.

You may wanna bring a DNA test kit though just in case though. You know,  if it really matters.

And maybe it does.

You know, wouldn’t you rather tear into an IKEA meatball made out of Preakness and Kentucky Derby winner I’ll have Another, rather than say, Mr. Ed?

Who’s to say chowing down on a really fine steed might not be the Swedish equivalent of snorting Rhino Horn¬†or eating a dozen oysters?

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13 Responses to Hearne: IKEA Hit With Swedish Meatball Horse Meat Scandal

  1. chuck says:

    “Seabiscuits and Gravy spill, right next to the Birch Secretariat Sandwich stand.”

    • harley says:

      okay chuck…now thats funny….
      chuck +1000
      chuckles the clown 0
      everyone likes your funny remarks better..
      nice.

  2. Orphan of the Road says:

    Slather it in sauce and condiments or deep fry it, the average person wouldn’t notice it was scat.

    We demand cheap food and thanks to our gubermint unscrupulous vendors are ready to provide the soylent green.

    If you have a ton of rancid, spoiled hamburger, how do you sell it? By blending in a enough good meat to dilute the percentage.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/quora/2013/02/25/the_european_horse_meat_scandal_it_is_your_fault.html

    “You buy your food so cheaply because, bluntly, it isn’t what you think it is or it hasn’t been produced with the sort of health safeguards you think are in place.

    So your “beef” is pork or horse or dog or some damn thing. Wake up and smell the free-trade coffee (produced in horrific, slavery conditions but by a company whose name is registered in the Cayman Islands as “Free Trade Coffee,” because you know, truth in advertising).

    Of course you could always shop local, support your local grocery supplier or butcher. If you can find one anymore. You and I didn’t want them, you see.”

  3. the dude says:

    Eh, horse, cow, pig, dog, cat, chicken- when you have eaten one or a few there isn’t much difference but social taboos.

  4. Mysterious J says:

    Wow, so a second Hearne contrarian “I don’t like IKEA!” column. Lazy.

  5. Lawrenceguy says:

    Are IKEA posts getting this many hits to warrant another post? I can’t think of a more boring company. Wal-Mart is sexy compared to this place. At least it isn’t another post by Mancow trying to disprove of how small of a penis he has.

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