True to Nature, Bears Maul Cats

Sometimes, the stars align so cosmically that it’s almost painful.

You get pulled over for speeding on your way to the DMV to get your tags renewed. You call the cops to report a suspicious ne’er-do-well and they find they find the kilo of cocaine sewn into the ass of your son’s Spongebob doll. A hooker demands more than her pittance and you call the cops in anger, only to be reminded that it is illegal to negotiate her services.

Or if you’re the Kansas State Wildcat football team, you travel to an unranked, middling school, recently absolved of its greatest historical threat, and you get your ass handed to you.

Such is the way of local athletics.

And it’s a shame, really. Not because I’m a K-State fan—that would make me biased and therefore, a terrible sports reporter—but I am a fan of the area from whence I came. And since KU football is abysmal, and Mizzou hasn’t justified anything this year, I’m compelled as a fan of my region to root for the last hope we have, the Tommy Morrison of college football, the opposite of whoever Todd Akin is running against.

In this case, my hopes and dreams rest squarely upon the shoulders of the K-State Wildcats.

 Plus, they’re a likeable team.

 Bill Snyder is inarguably (still) one of the greatest coaching minds of my time. Collin Klein is a treat to watch. And really, well, that’s all you need.

But they shit the bed big time tonight, on a SUPER-national stage. Ranked #1 for the first time in their history, they drove home the notion that, as Missourians or Kansans, we just can’t have nice things.

People joke about Cleveland, and God’s displeasure with that city, but Goddamn, Kansas City can’t be far behind, can it?

We can point to the pressure that stems from a number one ranking. We can pretend that the Sports Illustrated Curse is a real, pulsating thing. We can blame a million different disappointments, but the bottom line is, K-State lost. They lost hard.

They turned the ball over and they failed to capitalize on a thousand opportunities, and in the end, the Baylor Bears just played with a lot more determination and heart. Period.

And now the Cats are out of national title contention, and now the old folks can sit back and say “I told you so,” and all of us across the landscape can pretend that we were never all that excited anyway, that we knew from the get-go that nothing good happens here.

We’re a city of futility and exaggeration and false hope and ridiculous, delusional expectations. We’re stuck with what we are, and by now, it shouldn’t really be a surprise.

 Regardless, I salute their season.

 They’ll end up with a really fantastic bowl-game and they’ll probably win it, and though Klein won’t win the Heisman, he’ll finish in the top three and it’ll all make for some nice plaques and fond memories.

 Still, though…

It would be nice to have a champion just once. Just once, God.


To commiserate and whine, join me on Twitter, @StanfordWhistle
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10 Responses to True to Nature, Bears Maul Cats

  1. Super Dave says:

    Brandon you have done it again. Another very well thought out superbly written story.

  2. Kerouac says:

    I believe the ‘real curse’ is not SI as much that, like Klein, the Chiefs Cassel wears #7… known in the parlance as the ‘close proximity kiss of death’. For that matter, potential Chiefs #1 draft pick Matt Barkley also wears #7 AND is from USC – Holy Coincidence, Batman!

    Of course John Elway also wore #7 but even he went only 2-4 Superbowls. The usual suspects #7 non-Superbowl winning names include the likes Boomer Esiason & Craig Morton.

    Alas, for every Ben Roethlisberger a Bert Jones & Dan Pastorini, every Joe Theismann a Ron Jaworski, Michael Vick and Mike Nott.

    Nott? He was a Chiefs QB, signed as a free agent 1975 who got into one game in his KC career & lost 45-0 despite missing on only 6 passes in 10 attempts… go figure. A great career his just wasn’t in the numbers.

    As for K-State, the feeling engendered yesterday’s loss is similar the one, any, Marty Schottenheimer post season Chiefs…all that success, all that hype, all for naught; so it goes.

  3. Rick Nichols says:

    Purple Daze

    Somewhere the birds are singing,
    Somewhere the sun is shining,
    Somewhere the bells are ringing,
    Somewhere high hopes are climbing;
    Somewhere bright flowers abound,
    Somewhere dancers fill the street,
    But there is no joy in M-town …
    Mighty K-State has been beat.

  4. harley says:

    you are so wrong lefty…and for a young guy its almost unbelievable that you would say this…

    We’re a city of futility and exaggeration and false hope and ridiculous, delusional expectations. We’re stuck with what we are, and by now, it shouldn’t really be a surprise
    thats false…wrong…inaccurate….maybe as you learn life’s lessons you’ll think
    differently about our city..
    we’re a fault….we fill the stadiums with average crowds that
    sometimes far outdo the arenas of winners…because we love our teams…
    we suffer when they lose…we cuss when they screw up…but we wouldn’t
    get so upset about them if we didn’t care.
    we’re an incredibly beautiful town. Was at the power and light saturday
    after the springsteen concert. We enjoyed the warm november night
    and thought how really neat the area is. The array of entertainment sources..
    the energy in the area that was incredible…people smiling…the young drinkers
    and the springsteen fans…packed into mcfaddens. The young kids came with
    new expectations…the springsteen fans came with memories of songs and
    what they meant to us.
    The people were everywhere…and i forgot that in one of the worst recessions
    for america…it didn’t do as well financially as expected…but i would rate it
    as really one of the neatest entertinament areas in the nation…not like lodo
    or the otherbig downtown areas…but a really neat place to go and have a great
    Sure we have our problems…every city does. But this town has some of the
    most beuatiful areas like the plaza…driving down ward parkway…the suburbs…
    an incredible art museum…state of the art kaufmman center…
    add to that the friendliest people in the nation. Ability to walk most areaa of
    the city without fear.
    We’re not stuck with what we are. This area has engaged some of the
    greatest minds inthe nation. Business people who rank amont some of the
    most successful. We’re not stuck because we don’t have a winning baseball
    team…we’re stuck because for a period this area has lacked strong leadership.
    Strong people who would give back. In dallas they’re loaded with money and
    people in line to donate millions. We’re notthat lucky.. Many of the philanthropic
    people are now older and gone…but they laid an incredible foundation for
    this town.
    False hope…delusional expectations…wrong again lefty!!!!!
    This town donate more per capita to charity than any other city.
    You’re wrong when you say “w’ere stuck with who we are..”…
    way off lefty. We are a great city who might have lost some momentrum over
    the last few years. But this is truly one of the greatest townsin america.
    Lefty…maybe experiencing life might change your attitude…it did mine
    and many other people on here…but we don’t judge our city by the championships..
    the bars..the nightlife…the women…the single scene…the sports…that’s
    just asmall part of kc.
    We just need a little push from some people to lead this town. Are they here..
    of course they are…and i think we’re starting tov see them become even more
    visible as time moves on.
    here’s the surprise….when people come to kc they say WOW…i didn’t know this
    was so neat ofa town. I hear it all the time. Maybe we’re the best kept
    secret in the nation…and maybe for those of us who live here…its best
    keeping that secret among us….

  5. Scoop says:

    Great headline, Brandon!

  6. Jim says:

    Here’s to the ‘Cats for stepping on their little Wildcat weenies. Please continue to carry that very large chip on your shoulders that is the trademark of KSU fans.

  7. chuck says:

    Funny stuff Lefty.

  8. Rodney Jamison says:

    Maybe you would write a different story if you had watched this video, proof of that your wrong.

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