After a long absence Monica Lewinsky is out pitching a new tell-all book to New York publishers. Likely it will go for several million dollars. Those celebrity scandals just kill don’t they?
Gee, I wonder what the book will be about? Where she and President Bill Clinton did it, when she and Bill did it and how she and Bill did it.
Bill Clinton is arguably the most popular President of the past 100 years, save John Kennedy and maybe, just maybe, Ronald Reagan. Some would say he’s better liked than both.
Kennedy was a bigger player than Clinton – romantically speaking -from Marilyn Monroe to a Russian Spy, according to our boy J.Edgar Hoover. Johnny also regularly indulged in cocaine, weed and mob guys (no not sexually). He was a much darker figure than our man Bill.
Actually, according to all the strong rumors it was Lyndon Johnson who was the biggest “player” of all. They say he was banging them like nobody ever had – by the score, and weekly. He wasn’t nearly as handsome as John and Bill but must have carried a big stick.
She didn’t do Playboy or really make the big bucks for sucking up to Bill back when it went down. So now’s the time, since the Clintons are again big news.
Heck, do you blame the 40 year-old, always a bit overweight gal for wanting to have a little fun and make a few bucks?
I’ll never forget my old pal, Saturday Night Live Star Darrell Hammond‘s take on Bill Clinton. Remember, Darrell did Bill’s voice and likeness for years on the show. He was even invited to meet Clinton at the White House.
“Craig he was the most charismatic person I ever was in front of…ever…and that includes the likes of Mick Jagger and Tom Cruise,” Hammond told me. “The guy took me over to his desk, pulled out a magazine and showed me several beautiful models, then said, ‘Boy, why couldn’t I have been caught with one of these babes – I did them all – but no, it had to be the chunky girl.’ ”
Hammond mentioned Stanford’s at length in his hit book this past year, GOD IF YOU’RE NOT UP THERE I’M F..KED.
Well you know the old saying, “Boys will be boys.”
And now the more recent saying holds true, “Girls will be girls – and even smarter.”
So go ahead Monica, you bank girl. And uh, try and drop 10 or 20 pounds and do that nude centerfold.
We’ll be waiting…and watching.