Hearne: Fox 4 Film Critic Says Ban the Babies

Let’s get one thing out of the way right up front…

Fox 4 movie critic Shawn Edwards has nothing against babies – he even had one…once.

“I do love babies,” Edwards says. “Just not at the movies.”

However, were Edwards to ascend to say, The White House, moviegoing babies would be in deep doo-doo.

“If I miraculously got elected President of the United States, I would ban babies from the movies on Day One,” Edwards says. “And then I would increase the pay of all babysitters, because I think girls between the ages of 13 and 18 deserve to make even better money. And what better way to do it than through babysitting?”

Which brings us to Edwards Top Three Worst Movie Theater Nightmares:

1)  “The worst thing is people who bring babies,” he says. “It’s so annoying.”

2)  “Second worst is that person who shouldn’t have come to see the movie in the first place. Because they have far too much business to attend to because they make way too many phone calls and texts.”

3)  “Third is the person you sit next to who orders the entire concession stand. And they open all of their packages and it makes an insane amount of noise. Then they sit there and eat through the entire movie and it’s noisy and it’s just disgusting.”

Edwards recommendation for baby mamas in need of a movie and night out:

“Red Box is a dollar. Go get a DVD and watch it at a friend’s house. That way you get a chance to get out and see a movie.”

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6 Responses to Hearne: Fox 4 Film Critic Says Ban the Babies

  1. I hate Shawn Edwards says:

    I HATE babies in movie theaters ALMOST more than anything in the world…but I hate babies in theaters a lot less than I hate Shawn Edwards.

  2. balbonis moleskine says:

    Hmm…yelling at the goddamn screen and whooping and hollering during the movie didn’t make the list.

  3. the dude says:

    Ban Edwards and crying, screaming babies of all ages.

  4. BS says:

    so these are the top 3 movie theater nightmares? really? I can think of a worse one that happened recently.

  5. JC says:

    I am with balbonis on this one, yelling at the scream things like “she is right behind you girl, run girl” or “oh no, he did not just say that” drive me nuts. Much worse than a baby or someone eating. I wonder why Shawn did not mention those things, hmm, very curious.

  6. mike says:

    Even worse than babies are the young kids that whine and can’t sit still. Some of them even kick the back of your seat. They should not necessarily be banned, but parents should have enough sense to only take them to movies that hold their attention and teach them how to behave in a theater.