Hearne: Crying Babies Have No Biz @ Batman Shootings

There was more than enough sadness and despair stemming from yesterday’s  tragic shootings in an Aurora, Colorado movie theater…

But maybe – just maybe – there were a few less obvious lessons to be learned too. Subtler things than doing away with midnight screenings or not allowing movie geeks to wear makeup, Star Wars suits and the like.

One such lesson, or thought, occurred to me as I read the early comments on an Associated Press account of the Batman movie slayings.

“This is a tragic event,” began kcteacher. “Among the wounded are a 6 yr old and a 3 mo old. My thought is this: what idiot takes a baby and a young child to a movie theater at midnight? The sound system in theaters today can permanently damage little ears for another thing. How very very sad.’

Naturally, the teach got pounded for his or her trouble.

“It’s an event movie, people are going to take their kids to things like this,” countered Inspector71. “Did anyone ever go to a midnight screening of any of the Star Wars movies or The Avengers or similar films?  There’s a lot of kids at these.  It’s not like the guy shot up a bar at midnight, then you…would have a valid point.  I would never think a movie theater is someplace that a child shouldn’t be, especially during the summer.”

Get a clue “Inspector,” chimed another commenter:

“It’s one thing to take a 6 year old to the theater to see Finding Nemo, or Toy Story, etc.  It’s another to take them to a movie that’s not age appropriate.  Taking a 6 year old to a move that they shouldn’t see in the first place, at a time when they should be in bed?  Utter stoopidity and bad parenting. (And) a 3 month old has ZERO business in a theater, PERIOD.”

So while most of America was in hot pursuit of grisly shooting details, in Kansas City’s oft unsavory comments underworld an idea was born.

Why do movie theaters allow brain dead parents to drag infant children to movies they have no business being at?

Movies with hardcore violence, ridiculously loud explosions and the like. It makes no sense.

To start with the kiddies are subjected to nightmarish visuals and sounds. Secondly, for those who find innocuous texting offensive, try putting up with a screaming baby while trying to watch a movie.

Even from across the opposite side of the theater auditorium.

That happened repeatedly during an advance screening of The Bourne Ultimatum five years ago at AMC’s Studio 30 in Olathe.

The movie was rated PG-13 “for violence and intense sequences of action,” meaning parents were urged to be aware that aspects of the movie may be inappropriate for pre-teens.

Movies like, oh, The Dark Knight Rises.

I tracked down an exec responsible for many of the area’s promotional screenings to try and find out why they were letting people with babies in and guess what?

No comment on the record.

Off the record I got the equivalent of, “It’s a free country. The babies were accompanied by their parent or guardian, just like MPAA Movie Ratings specify.

Well, I’m with the teacher.

“I’m amazed all the time by today’s young parents and the stupid things many of them do. I taught 6 yr olds. This movie is not appropriate for a child that young. Then there is the hearing issue. Definitely dangerous for the 3 mo old.”

Wasn’t always that crying babies and their tender ears were subjected to sensory assaults like that of the Dark Knight, movie guy Jack Poessiger tells me.

“When I was first working in the business many theaters had a little room at the back where people could sit and watch a movie with their babies without disturbing other people,” Poessiger says. “They called it the Cry Room.”

For Poessiger’s money, “Number One, it’s ridiculous to bring a baby to a screening,” he says. “And if they start crying, waiting forever to take them out of the theater is disturbing to the audience. Then they take them outside and bring them back and they start screaming again.”

For what it’s worth, Jack’s got a theory.

“Maybe they feel they haven’t got the authority to stop people,” he says. “Maybe it’s like Southwest Airlines finally putting their foot down on fat people and making them buy a second ticket.”

Poessiger would like to put his foot somewhere on people who bring crying babies to movies they have no business at.

Provided, of course, they’re not threateningly large in size and sitting within ass-kicking distance.

Has Man Jack ever experienced said baby crying problem?

“Yeah and I’ve voiced my displeasure in the theater,” he says. “I’ve asked, ‘Will you please take that baby outside?’ I’ve even had other people applaud me for doing it because they were too chicken. They were just going to sit there and take it.”

So let’s be clear. In no way did the people who foolishly and selfishly took their way underage kids to the Dark Knight in Aurora get what they deserved.

However they need to get a clue, and since they obviously don’t have one, maybe movie theaters need lay down the law and not admit adults with young babies.

For everyone’s sake.

“I have many thoughts about this tragedy,” kcteach continues. “This is just one. Yes, you are an idiot if you take a 6 yr old or a 3 mo old to a movie at midnight. Like I said, the potential damage to hearing is real. Plus a midnight event is obviously not designed for children.

“When my kids were that little, we had this person called a babysitter. If we couldn’t afford one or find one, we stayed home. Imagine that.”



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25 Responses to Hearne: Crying Babies Have No Biz @ Batman Shootings

  1. Super Dave says:

    Ok Hearne hat is off to you great story and very good point as well.

    Yes todays parents get dumber each and everyday. Most are a product of the time out in corner growing up era and are clueless about how to raise a child. So sad and scary to wonder how that child will be at age 20.

  2. Orphan of the Road says:

    I was in a suite during the 76ers vs Lakers championship series years back. Some dolt brought a month-old-baby to the game.

    The mother shushed us while we were cheering the game. The baby’s asleep, can’t you people see that, she said.

    The same people, or relatives, who bring their lil’ doggy-woggy to the Farmer’s Market.

    Cue George Harrison — I, Me, Me, Mine…

  3. smartman says:

    At $15.00 an hour for a good babysitter, particularly one that’s gonna work from 11:00pm to 4:00am, most people can’t afford $60.00 to $90.00 so it’s easier to schlep the kid. Parenting is not undertaken with the same reasoning and responsibility today that it used to be.

    In the end this whole situation boils down to personal responsibility and people’s unwillingness to practice it in all aspects of their lives.

  4. Toomy J says:

    Good idea to cut the comments off so quickly now. Glazer writes a story and if you give people time to investigate he gets torn up. Only allowing comments for a short time saves him from the savage beatings he takes. Truth in reporting is the best motto.

  5. tiad says:

    “Hearne: Crying Babies Have No Biz @ Batman Shootings”

    Are you implying that non-crying babies, crying adults and non-crying adults DO have “biz” @ Batman shootings?

    HC: I’ll leave that for you to figure out

  6. mark smith says:

    The nimrods who would bring a 3 month old to a midnight movie probably are of the same cloth as the (idiots) who let the ferret turn their toddlers hands into oven mitts in Grain Valley. I wonder if Fred Willard ever takes his grandkids to the movies.
    Too soon?
    By the way Hearne, your new comment moderation is going to turn your comment section into milquetoast. JMO.

    HC: Maybe. Then again there are far worse things than screening for the F word and S word.

  7. Craig Glazer says:

    Well done Hearne, very good point. WTF were they thinking bringing babies to a movie at midnight. Damn.

  8. Toomy J says:

    Craig-so the parents could show the kids where daddy and mommy made them….with Fred Willard looking on and you hoping some day they would be watching you in intimate acts…perhaps?

  9. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Is this where I comment on things that are plainly obvious?

  10. jack p. says:

    OK, at what point do we bring ‘THE BOTTOMLESS POPCORN BOX’ into the equation?

  11. Craig Glazer says:

    Where’s Batman when you need him?

  12. the dude says:

    Some people are completely stupid and devoid of common sense and you can’t fix that. Corporations are gonna allow it because it means more cheddar. A 3 month old baby at a midnight screening, like Merle said the answer is glaringly obvious.

  13. Big Bob says:

    Craig-I read the article in the paper about your cartoon. WOW even the creator said you were an old guy that did strippers and was an ego maniac. I guess we now know that both your friends and enemies feel the same way about you.

  14. mike says:

    I don’t know why a baby should be taken to any movie. People go there to watch the movie, not listen to a screaming baby.

  15. Rainbow Man says:

    Movies used to be for high school kids. Now they are for 25-35 year old losers. Real adults are not supposed to have time for movies.

    Remember when a dad was a guy you just didn’t jack with.? He called the shots, worked hard, and rarely, if ever, said “I love you.” The old “dad” did not give a crap how you got to little league practice, and he sure as hell wasn’t driving you to a baseball tournament 300 miles away on the weekend.

    This was not a socioeconomic thing. Rich dads were preocupied with supporting their family and middle to low income dads were too. Dad was not warm and fuzzy… but the damned bills got paid. And you didn’t worry about where your next meal was coming from.

    Well, now dad is sensitive. Actually wonders aloud if he is a good parent. He is even afraid of his own children.

    Divorce laws that have developed over the last 40 years have basically made men hostages in their own homes… that they largely pay for. Women and kids have all the power now. One assertion or mis-step and you are on the phone with Cordell and Cordell fighting for your 40 %. But the wife is justified in developing her space, finding her groove, and getting her “rest” even if that means she needs to take a baby to a midnight movie.

    Now everyone is “equal… ” men are not supposed to be in charge…. it is family by committee now and if that kid wants to go to a midnight movie… or if mom is so inept she can’t stand staying home….. the kid ends up at a midnight movie. Sorry ladies… a guy would not take a kid to a midnight movie.

    Kids are not equal to adults and they do not belong where adults belong. The don’t belong in D 1 College Football locker rooms and they do not belong at Midnight movies.

    • the dude says:

      Ah yes, the good ol’ days eh Rainbow?
      Trudging to school 10 miles each way through 10 feet of snow and having the ability, nay, the right to punch ol’ wifey in the kisser if she didn’t make your old fashioned just properly? Negroes knew their proper place back then didn’t they Rainbow?

      You can take your nostalgia for “the better times” and stuff it you know where.

      • Super Dave says:

        The good ole days they was no doubt, to bad you missed them, believe me it was good.

    • smartman says:

      So maybe there is something to Sharia Law?

  16. John Wayne says:

    I’d make one correction, Rainbow Man. A Man wouldn’t take a baby to a midnight movie, but “Guys”, which make up about 90% of today’s worthless males, are so wrapped up in their own entertainment they don’t even give this stuff a thought.

  17. Rainbow Man says:

    To the dude..

    I am not saying that the old dad was totally optimum, but I do not think men in general respected women less than they do now. I am just saying we over-corrected. And we did.

  18. mike says:

    In some ways men respected women more back then. I remember when men didn’t expect women to support them, when men held doors open for women, when husbands would get angry if someone disrespected their wife by talking crudely in front of her, etc. Now, men expect women to pay 1/2 to all of the bills, still do most of the work around the house, raise the kids with little or no help, and the men talk to them like they are whores and let others do the same.

  19. smartman says:

    Only if you live east of Troost, Mike and with one exception, pay ALL the bills.

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