Jack Goes Confidential: Wise-Ass ‘TED’ Is Foul-Mouthed Hilarious

Family Guy’s Seth MacFarland finally gets his crack at the big screen and he doesn’t disappoint…

With TED MacFarland gets to push the envelope way beyond the TV limits and be totally politically incorrect.

TED tells of Mark Wahlberg as a kid and his magic Christmas wish that turned into a true miracle. His beloved teddy bear coming to life and becoming sort of a major child star sensation—even making an appearance with Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show. Wahlberg and Ted were going to be buddies for life.

Therein lies the problem.

Wahlberg’s now 35 years old and has Mila Kunis as his girlfriend. Making matters worse, Ted’s turned into quite a foul-mouthed party animal who’s into booze, bongs and hookers. And he’s NOT leaving.

So with Mila and Teddy now competing for Wahlberg’s affection she puts her foot down with an "it’s me or the bear" ultimatum.

While this may sound pretty pedestrian, remember it’s being played out through the fertile scripting by Seth MacFarland who also serves as the voice of Ted.

"I had cool moves. So have people with Parkinson’s" (Ouch)

Some of the film’s goofs are absolutely hilarious with dialogue to match—most of which I can’t quote here.
Add a generous helping of on screen surprises led by Sam (‘Flash Gordon’) Jones, Norah Jones and Ryan Reynolds among others and you’ve got about an hour and 46 minutes of pure rude and crude but very funny screen time.

Ted’s take on himself: "I look like Snuggle’s accountant."

And so it goes with some of the best material being oh so wrong.

Nothing’s sacred in or with the R-rated TED—flipping off 3-1/2 out of 5 fingers.

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. on KMBZ Am & Fm / Also anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411 / And throughout Nebraska on NEBRASKA ON DEMAND, Channel 411.

This entry was posted in Jack_Poessiger and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Jack Goes Confidential: Wise-Ass ‘TED’ Is Foul-Mouthed Hilarious

  1. PB says:

    Can’t Freaking Wait
    For this! Love McFarlane sort of blending his Brian/Peter Griffin voices for Ted’s character. And believe it or not, Mark Wahlberg has actually become quite the comic actor, trading off on the persona that has never played that well for me in most of his dramatic/action films. Glad to hear that this is more than just the killer previews and I suspected as much coming from Seth McFarlane.

  2. cindy loo hoo says:


  3. mike says:

    I wasn’t sure what to expect from MacFarland. Family Guy is really funny but American Dad and Cleveland do anything for me at all. Am I supposed to believe that a grown man would have a hard time choosing between Mila Kunis and a teddy bear? He would have to be gayer than the two dudes who tried to buy Jardine’s combined!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Lance the Intern says:

    But the teddy bear can get a couch full of ho’s….So there’s that.

  5. mike says:

    A teddy bear pimp? I guess he had to top a talking, bipedal, intellectual, drunk, pot smoking dog!

  6. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Mark Wahlberg is a hack.

  7. mike says:

    At least his acting is better than his rapping but that’s not saying much!

  8. Orphan of the Road says:

    @ Mike Could Fred really be

    I mean there was the downtime on the series and all…

  9. balbonis moleskine says:

    I liked this movie when it was called Wilfred, Paul, or the Beaver.

  10. the dude says:

    Maybe a TBS
    viewing, if at all.

Comments are closed.