Hearne: Down (But Not Out) in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

With all due respect, it’s not every day I take Craig‘s advice…

Yet as many of you were preparing to party this weekend I was emerged in a great escape to the country many Republicans want to fence out, Mexico.

That’s right, the land where I bought my first switchblade knife as a teenager after playing underage, cool guy in Nogales by going into a bar and ordering a Carta Blanca. Maybe drank like half of it or less, but it was the thought that counted.

This time out my Mexican destination of choice is Cabo. And while I won’t be bringing back any illegal cutlery, there’s all sorts of other ways to go wrong in the land down under. Like getting murdered or ransomed for vast sums to the good readers of KC Confidential. I doubt the Star would bail me at this point (although they and the Pitch would doubtless have fun covering the story).

However all of that’s highly unlikely, right?

And unlike Craig’s Puerto Rican wilding, my short trip is unlikely to involve any bimbo eruptions or dirty dancing.

I can and will pass along a few Jack Poessiger-like travel advice and observations.

For example I have a pair of warnings to pass along where travel in and out of KCI Airport is concerned.

First and foremost, whatever you do, do not be late for your 5:50 a.m. flight.

See, I’m an expert at being late for pretty much everything as most people who know me can attest to. It’s what I do.

Let me tell you though, it’s a long, lonely drive from KCI back to Prairie Village after you learn they’ve given away your seat to some other loser and you’ve ot eight hours to kill before the next flight. And it’s not even 6 a.m.

But all is well that eventually ends halfway well and less than eight hours later I was on my way to rubbing elbows with drug lords and cigarette-mooching Mexican police. Plus it was a "free" trip, so…

What wasn’t free that I suggest that you studiously avoid if you find yourself stranded and hungry at KCI is the Quinzos Sub station.

It’s one thing to get ripped off for a pair of small subs, a single, small drink and bag of chips for well over 20 bone. Quite another to try and choke down a turkey on whole wheat with mustard and veggies that can only be described as nasty.

For those with a low tolerance for slow news days, I’ll refrain from recounting the details, just heed my advice.

As for Cabo, it’s early and I have no true braking news outside of just having edited the story about Craig dirty dancing on his vaca. Other than maybe plug the Playa Grande resort if you’re looking for someplace tranquil, halfway affordable and fun within very close range of a party and shopping zone.

With excellent dining options that don’t entail getting wildly sick like the time I richocheted in and out of the Acapulco resort Las Brisas several years back.

I will say this, getting WIFI and on the Internet down here totally sucks. Hence the paucity of my postings. I’ll try to do better.

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11 Responses to Hearne: Down (But Not Out) in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

  1. smartman says:

    Taco Hell
    Cabo is in Mexico, but it ain’t Mexico. Argentine is more Mexico than Cabo. If putting up a huge fucking fence is what it takes to enforce immigration laws count me in. Can’t be any more of a debacle than the P&L. Good news is the new regime will ask the US and A for help with the drug cartels so we can send the military down there to kick some serious ass and get some cheap oil.

  2. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Yeah I tell you…nothing worse than sipping a cocktail in paradise, surrounded by white sand, clear blue water and hot babes in bikinis and the whole damn thing gets ruined by crappy WiFi.

  3. mermaid says:

    Press shut down
    Hearne take in some sun and waves and put the technology down. Computers and cell phones are the cigarettes we just can’t put down. Try it and forget back home in old boring KC! Nothing going on here except a bunch of stoplights down 135th St which drive me literally insane! Have fun!

  4. Super Dave says:

    Mermaid myself I just drop down to 143rd when I want to go west from say Roe and miss all the lights of 135th.

    Plus Hearne has it all in his blood he can’t put it down.

  5. chuck says:

    My Significant other was told she was too late for
    a U. S. Airways flight in Wed Morn. 5:50 AM.

    Later she tells me, she and 5 others were not let on the plane, even though it was there for 20 minutes because they were late for the “Boarding Time” NOT the departure.

    I asked around, and hear that U.S. Air always overbooks in the hopes of selling stanby tickets, filling a vacuum and pushing forward customer “Fills” for flights not sold out.

    She had to wait 8 hours at KCI for her next flight (Thought it would only be 4, then got different information.)

    Conversations in the terminal with other travelers, led her to believe that U.S. Airways operates under protocols that are disengenuous and misleading.

  6. Super Dave says:

    You are so right about U.S. Air Chuck. I would never fly on that airline. The things I use to see about that airline back when I was flying a lot.

    Yup anymore be very early to fly or you maybe sitting at the airport and not much sucks like sitting around one of those places.

  7. expat says:

    Did that Asian girl with the big rack have to go through the electronic strip search? If so I bet there were some happy security screeners at MCI.

  8. realist says:

    Buy a watch. That way you don’t miss your plane.
    If there were no stoplights you would never make it home.
    Always stop on red lights. Or you could get hurt.
    Asian girls have beautiful skin. They don’t eat popcorn or ding dongs. Healthy people.
    How you know asian girl has big rack? You buy xray glasses from comic books?
    I don’t fly. Take greyhound. They need the money so they don’t leave without you.
    Cabo is dangerous. Has huge undertows. Hearne doesn’t swim anyway.
    No computers? Too bad. Then you’re forced to read a newspaper and talk to people in person.

  9. chuck says:

    You are right, she should have been earlier.

    That notwithstanding, US Airways is NOT the way to fly in my opinion.

  10. the dude says:

    eh, if I was gonna do mexico
    on the pacific side I would probably find some sleepy fishing village well away from a place like Cabo.
    But if you were getting it for free then why the hell not. Bottom’s up.

  11. Not so sure about that says:

    ‘I doubt the Star would bail me at this point (although they and the Pitch would doubtless have fun covering the story).’

    I don’t think the Pitch has written anything about you since the DUI incident

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