Hearne: RockFest 2012; So Many Boobies, So Few Beads

About last weekend’s RockFest at Liberty Memorial

The one where an estimated 55,000 head-bangers bellied up to 15 bands for nearly a dozen hours of drunken and disorderly debauchery. A politcally correct, freelance concert review in the Star glossed over the depravity by referring to "the antics of uninhibited women" and musicians who "actively encouraged…lewd behavior."

Leaving to reader’s imaginations the question, how lewd was it?

"It was a great people watching crowd," says Westporter Bill Nigro, who worked the event. "Because you saw everybody from the beautiful people to the not-so-beautiful people. There were some stunning women there and there were some other ones that weren’t."

Diplomatically said – but let’s take it a step farther – how stunning?

"There was quite a bit of flashing," Nigro says. "I’ve never seen so many flashes. Ever."

More than in Westport on St. Patrick’s Day even?

"Uh, yeah," Nigro deadpans.  "At least 20 times more, easily, Twenty times more flashing than Westport gets on St. Patrick’s Day."

Even at the back of the bus where Nigro was trapped working?

"It was happening everywhere, not just down by the music," he says. "I mean, there were guys walking around with beads and girls were flashing them to get more beads."

Nigro’s boob count?

"I was there over 12 hours, from 8 a.m. until about 9 in the evening," he says. "And I had to have seen over 100, I guess."

Meaning 50 women or 100 pair? The latter, Nigro notes.

Forgive me for asking but, the percentage of flashing hotties to flashing notties?

"It was pretty much half and half," Nigro says. "One half USDA Choice prime boobs."

And the other half: "Oh, I’d just say large and cuddily."

In fact, Nigro set a personal record for most bare boobs beheld.

"That’s probably because it was his first RockFest, because that’s pretty normal at RockFest," says former Entercom honcho Bob Zuroweste, who’s lorded over his share of the headbanger happenings. "That’s probably why there’s 40,000 guys there and just 10,000 women – it’s part of the show."

Nigro’s advice for red-blooded dudes planning to attend next year’s RockFest?

"Bring some beads, you won’t be sorry."

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13 Responses to Hearne: RockFest 2012; So Many Boobies, So Few Beads

  1. Super Dave says:

    Nigro can’t count like when just two people ride his taxpayer funded trolley car he will say it’s twenty. More bad figures from a person who twists them all the time.

  2. Different Dave (less super) says:

    Math = eh?
    “Meaning 50 women or 100 pair?”

    50 women = 50 pair = 100 boobs.
    100 pair = 100 women = 200 boobs.

    Seems like a goofy question, to me … Hearne, as usual, is perplexed by basic human anatomy …

  3. Matt says:

    Nigro’s a freak
    ‘nough said

  4. GB says:

    How has no one talked about how bad the sound was at Rockfest? Chevelle left the stage, FFDP and Shinedown you could barely hear the singers and guitars. All i could hear was the drums and people talking next to me. At a huge rock concert like this and FFDP on the stage I should not be able to have conversations 50 yards from the stage with other people. I left 3 songs into Shinedown b/c the you couldn’t hear anythng? This was a massive disappointment for me as it was finally my first time seeing Shinedown and I “kind” of heard 3 songs before taking off. Nice work Rockfest.


  5. the dude says:

    People actually pay money
    to see who will try to be the next Nickleback? Oh, the horror…

  6. glenn says:

    Snooki dropped rock
    What about the Snooki wannbe that got booted in the face by a neo-nazi and the resulting melee? Geesh…you wouldn’t know a story if it fell in your mouth.

  7. smartman says:

    The Snooki wanna- be video is priceless. If a picture is worth a thousand words the pics on the Star website are encyclopedic in the illustration of the dirtbags that go to Rockfest. Sure you get the occasional 1 or 2 percenter but the majority of the attendees are in the lower 9% of the 99 percent. The irony is that 98.9 might be the average IQ of the attendees.

    Funny that Glaze slipped out of the country for a few days after. Hiding from those statutory rape charges maybe?

    Weed smoking and titties flashing and cops doing nothing. If it were black kids on the Plaza doing that they’d be hauling ’em off to jail or the juvenile center.

    The production problems that effected the sound quality on one of the stages are inexcusable for an event of this magnitude and wreak of cost cutting amateurs.

    Wonder when they’ll start counting Rockfest babies as their own protected class of dirtballs. Nothing like having your ejaculate swim in a piss stream of Miller beer on its’ way up the vagina dodging and weaving around all the piercings and bacteria to that backstage party in the dressing room of Five Finger Uterus.

  8. the dude says:

    Not snoooooooooki!!!!!

  9. Hearne says:

    In fairness to the Star reviewer…
    He did totally bag on RockFest for it’s criminally lousy sound. And you guys are right, with AE producing the event and the MILLIONS of dollars being taken in with beer sales, etc., there’s no excuse for it and an apology and pledge to do better or offer up a free make-good show would have been nice.

    As for the boob count, if Nigro saw 100, the question was did he see 50 pair or 200 total. The latter was his final answer.

  10. paulwilsonkc says:

    SlutFest, TrashFest, TrailerFest
    I have no idea what the attraction is. I have no idea why Craig thinks this is THE event he does. And if this is where Dare’s power base comes from, well, thats just depressing.

    I took a few minutes and watched every YouTube available on RF 2012. It’s hard to imagine there was a “normal” person there by any ones definition! And, what a respectful crowd!! Piles of trash, cups and garbage so think you couldnt see the curbs or streets!!

    Im sure there were sound problems and Im sure attendees thought that was at the top of the list of “issues”, but to the casual observer…… it looked like WhiteTrashFest.

    Rock On Johnny…. your minions are soooooo impressive.

  11. the dude says:

    wilson, I told you guys
    these are the ‘types’ that actually listen to dare, they come out of the woodwork like roaches into the daylight only a few times out of the year. Scary and sad to say the least.

  12. Craig Glazer says:

    RockFest 2012 Smash Hit…Again!
    Look boring old guys, and haters, RockFest without question is THE concert event of the year in this city, has been for many years. 50 thousand plus show up, have fun, get a buzz on, look at hot girls, hear some great music…so yes with all that going on there will an issue or two, not many…so well run its scary…all I heard was HOW GREAT IT WAS…FROM HUNDREDS WHO WENT…not a bad word, not one bad comment…kinda like we won the Super Bowl…again…but man we should have scored more…we suck…WTF…

    Dare is and has been our number one media star..no question..no argument, none. They guy, along with his PD, Bob Edwards and on air staff, Nivens, Moose, Jake The Snake, DD J, T-Bone, AJ Engle, and even Choclate Becky…make it happen! Without the Johnny Dare no crowds can’t be plus 50,000 he is the ring leader..no doubt.

    As far as “types” of people who attend…hey Super Shmo and crew..THATS WHO ARE CITY IS BOYS…it ain’t Halbrook, sorry…thats why many of our “oldies” concerts underdraw…or money shows…most don’t work in KC…not all but most…we don’t have the go out over 30’s crowd with money that goes much of anywhere….we are a middle class based town..thus 98.9 The Rock number one every year…they love the Dare…he is the fun “common man” and it works..he lives it in real life. He’s not kidding.

    You have to GIVE TONS OF CREDIT to the Rock, its staff and Bob Edwards for figuring out what the bulk of this town loves…HARD ROCK, A BEER, SOME SUN AND OH YEAH A FEW BIG BOOBS…that includes me…having a nice week in the fun and sun of Puerto Rico…talk soon.

  13. realist says:

    Slacker on the Fox beats Dare.
    Rockfest is a huge money maker. Who isn’t for capitalism?
    Those people spend money. Lots of it. No 401k’s/retirement plans for those people.
    Glazer likes hot young women. Who among us doesn’t? Who doesn’t wish they had his girl?
    55,000 people. And only 1 girl got beat up. Good crowd control.
    Why knock rockers? Good people. Pot mellows them out. 7-11 loves them.

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