Glazer: Scribe & Hottie Off to Puerto Rico for a Week

As we reach middle age we often find that we have or take very little time for ourselves…

We’re always saving for our futures – but guess what – if you’re over 45, it’s already here! It’s time to enjoy life and your friends. Most of you have all worked hard and maybe raised a couple kids, now it’s your turn.

However, too many of us bought into the big lie.
One of many, actually.

 That when you grow up everything will be swell. You’ll be able to drive and own a car and won’t need your mom or the neighbor to give you a ride. You’ll get married, have a great job and kids and everything will be aces. Oh yeah, and you’ll have great and loyal friends – tons of ’em!

What we eventually learn is that life is not too fair.

That growing up and getting older is usually accompanied by all sorts of problems and headaches. Even for the chosen few who end up with some real bucks.

Marriage usually doesn’t work out for the long haul. Your kids drive you crazy and cost a fortune. And that great job?  Even for those who spend most of their time in an office making a good living, it gets old, really old. And the job rewards are few in the end.

And too many of us find out just how little anybody cares when we get dumped or forced into retirement.

It’s goodbye Charlie, best of luck old chum. Did you see the Jack Nicholson film "About Schmidt?" For so many people, that’s a very true look at the end game.

Many of you readers are much younger, 25, 30 or maybe even just right at 40.

"That’s not me," you say. Think again – it’s most people – too many of us, in fact. We put off those great adventure plans until it’s too late or doesn’t matter much anymore. When you visit those far off Islands and beaches at 70 or 75, well, life has a way of taking the fun out of the trip. If you get my drift.

Sure, the food’s good and the hotels are very nice and the chicks on the beach are smoking hot. Trouble is at that age, much of the possible enjoyment has just passed us by. We can’t do the things we once did and we don’t look the way we did at 35 or 40.

Look, I am very aware that even those of us who have saved some decent money are not safe these days.

Hell, I have friends  with seven figures saved up but there is no interest on their money so they worry about their futures. In many ways can’t blame them.

But what about TODAY?

I’ve asked all my pals to go on trips to some great places like Rio or Bali or maybe even the French Riviera. And their answer is usually, "Not now, maybe when my kids get outta college." Or, "Well, I’m going to do all that in a few years. There’s just too much going on with work and all."  And of course,  "Man, it’s just too much money for me right now."

Hey, that’s the only one that you can understand. However there are still cheap deals these days.

In the end, none of my KC pals will ever go anywhere major for adventure again.

Sure, there will be the lake, a trip up north to say Chicago. Maybe visit the kids in school or even go to L.A. or San Diego, if they have a relative there to stay with or a reason to be there. But just to go? Nah.

Me, I work hard. I know most of you think it’s all play for me but it’s not.

Sure I go to Vegas and LA often, but it’s both business and pleasure. Fortunately my career takes me to those two places. I’m lucky. Still I have a few places I always thought I’d see when I was younger. I’ve done the Caribbean a few times, even Jamaica. It’s been just for a minute though. So now is my final chance to do these places and have fun, like I would have 10 or 15 years ago. Hey it’s never a perfect time, right.

My pal Steve lives in Puerto Rico, on the other side of San Juan. I’ve been to San Juan, but not the more private sides and beaches. So the guy bugs me to visit him, there’s a five star hotel next to his condo and I figured, "What the hell?"

So I asked my main girl, Jessie, to go.

Barbie and I ended pretty quick on the second round – she’s fun but a headache.

Jessie was thrilled. She’s a great athlete and stays in crazy cool shape, so I’m lucky. We’ll see. Last time I went with a lady for an entire week it was with my ex wife Connie, and she was always wonderful.

And later I’m going to go to Rio, The French and Italian Riviera and visit my pal Warren in Bali. And maybe a few more just for fun jumps. Why not? Life is short and there aren’t that many rewards as we get older.

So I leave tomorrow for Puerto Rico.

I hope it’s a great trip with sun and rest. My advice to all of you is go do whatever it is you want to do before somebody hands you a "gold watch."

I don’t really know exactly what all works in life, but I do know what doesn’t -a quiet life of desperation.

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15 Responses to Glazer: Scribe & Hottie Off to Puerto Rico for a Week

  1. Dolly Lama says:

    The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:

  2. Super Dave says:


    Been there done it in the 70’s had other great times as well while you was looking out through the bars in jail.

    Hope you didn’t wait to late in life to go have fun.

  3. the dude says:

    please tell me the girl
    in the top photo is not the girl you are taking with you. I don’t think you have enough buckets of money to keep her happy on an extended trip.

  4. tubbs says:

    that girl the Glaze will just need a weeks worth of blow.

  5. balbonis moleskine says:

    Glaze starts “As we reach middle age”

    If you are just reaching middle age, my great grandma just retired to a nice pine box condo.

    Also LOL at travelling to San Juan, PR, us Commonwealth, and saying it is exotic travel.

    the level of delusion is delicious and I applaud Hearne for keeping this guy around.

  6. Bob says:

    Don’t you get tired
    of being USED. Look you are a never was has been. You get chicks because of drugs and money. They USE YOU!!! You are just to dumb to realize it or you are so stupid that you think they like you because you are a sucess. You are pathetic. Could you get a chick if you were doing fries at McDonalds? the answer of course is no. You are a loser. And yes I’m sure if u respond it will be I’m a hater. Get some new shtick will ya?

  7. Bob Loblaw says:

    Thank God …
    Because that means we won’t (hopefully) have to read your useless drivel for the next few weeks.

  8. dolly lama says:

    bob/bob/stupor dave/ballbonehead
    you guys are jealous. You’re stuck in your hopeless world wishing you were with glazer’s girl. Continue jacking off.

  9. hardly says:

    bob/bob/stupor dave/ballbonehead
    awl u folks setting in youre moms basments talikng siht on glaze………………………………….a bunch of wannabe wgae slvae lusers………………………………..gett a life……………………………u wish u culd efford glazerz gurl………………………………..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  10. bubba says:

    Please just tell me one thing
    having been to rio several times, hope you aren’t taking sand to the beach (unless said sand is up for threesomes). Go to rio soon. XE is pretty good. My best was 3 to 1 but 2 to 1 isn’t bad. If you are a hotel type, I can hook you up with a couple sources for sub letting condo. I know completely what you mean by trying to get your KC friends out of a rut and go on an adventure. In the end your buds come up with excuses and if you can’t travel on your own, you take sand to a beach. I say go by yourself, plenty of US guys on vacation or expats to hook up with. You will never be lonely for female company that make your pics of your US girls look like boys.

  11. rkcal says:

    is this a long con satire like that goofy shit Joaquin Phoenix did? A person this vapid cannot really exist, right?

  12. the dude says:

    If the ‘schtick’ is a long con,
    it is a damn good one. Has me convined thouroughly that he is a total putz.

  13. Hearne says:

    C’mon, fellas…
    You know it’s all just a charade. The Craig I know spends his every waking free hour at the library and attending poetry slams. And you guys thought it was all nonfiction!

  14. BMAN says:

    Good For You- Really
    Hope you have a lot of fun while you are there Craig. I have had the same thoughts as of late about age, vacations, and work. This article reinforces my decision that I am going to take a weeks vacation with my wife at the end of May.

    BTW…Nice carry-on you are taking with you. Looks like she has…I mean there are a couple of good sized handles for ease of use!

    Good job on the articles Craig. Yours have the most followers/comments of them all.

  15. Craig Glazer says:

    Thanks BMAN
    Well I enjoyed your response. I am still in Purerto Rico, Hearne is in Mexico, we are all gone for a minute, I think Hearne is still gonna put some stuff up…I will do at least two articles from here, including one today Saturday….yeah she is very nice looking, have dated jessie for more than ten years off and on, for some reason they come back, must be my personallity..who knows…nah, wild nights, yes. Met her when she was 18 now she is nearly 30. Still smoking hot, maybe better now…trip is great so far, I am burned, the Waldorf is outstanding…I will do an article on it and use some photos…

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