Glazer: Kansas City Royals Fans are the World’s Biggest Suckers!

Kansas City Royals fans just love their Royals…

And why not? We’re going to games this season in near record numbers. Thats right, last year at this time the Royals had drawn 248,000 fans. This year over the same time period, 329,000 fans. And the way, with the same number of games, 15. So we’re ahead of last year by 80,000 fans or almost two Chiefs games. Wow.

Which tells David Glass this: Go ahead and lose, we got nothing better to do. We will still come in droves to watch one of baseball’s all-time worst franchises.

That’s the truth, too!

Only one team in the league has a worse record than the Royals, the Minnesota Twins. They’re in our division by the way. And in all of baseball only one other team has but nine wins, San Diego.

The Royals have played only 28 games, but already are 10 games under .500. That’s not easy to do folks.

The Royals – who many of us thought would be a scoring machine – were supposed to be second only to Texas in hitting and home runs. Right. And let’s not even talk about pitching. OK, let’s do. Luke Hochevar, our No. One draft pick six years ago, has an ERA above 7.00 this season. The good news is his lifetime record ERA is only 5.46, which is still one of the five worst in 100 years of baseball (for a starter with over 100 starts).

More good news – we also have Kyle Davies as one of the top five worst in baseball history. Nice. Yep, we sure can say our farm system is coming up aces, huh?

Not to worry, we have several young position players who can hit the hell out of the ball, especially Eric Hosmer.

But Eric has one of the worst batting averages in baseball for a starter at .179. He managed to go 0 for 4 last night at home against Boston, who beat us 11 to 5. Our other ace, Johnathan Sanchez failed to record one out in the fourth before being yanked. His ERA stands at 6.75. Nice.

Back to the hitters, no starter that matters is hitting over .288 except Mike Moustakas at a meaningless .313.

Oh, they tell us the Royals have the fourth best batting average in the American League. Really? Maybe that’s why we never seem to score more than 3-5 runs in any game. I thought this team would have tons of 9-8 and 11-7 victories. Why?  The vaunted hitting attack. But I guess not.

Hey, I bought into this year’s Royals like many of you guys.

I even told you I bet a few bucks in Vegas on the over at 78 1/2 games. Meaning the Royals would win at least 79. Now it looks like losing less than 100 would be just swell.

However none of this matters.

Our fans love the Royals. We enjoy the nice stadium, and it’s very family friendly.

They sure spruced that puppy up, huh? Who cares if we watch our team win or lose? It’s summer, it’s fun.

Here’s something for David Glass to consider; buy the T-Bones for a few bucks, sell off the pretender Royals, drop the ticket prices a bit and BANG – move the Bones into Royals Stadium and start printing money, baby!

We don’t care. We just love our baseball. We love anything in pro sports at Arrowhead and Kauffman. Why? Because only our parents and grandparents remember George Brett and Len Dawson. The guys who used to actually win like 40 years ago.

It’s summer and losing most of our games is fun!

Lets buy some tickets for the Cleveland series. That’s going to be so cool. What a blast.

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33 Responses to Glazer: Kansas City Royals Fans are the World’s Biggest Suckers!

  1. tiad says:

    The Coddling Must Stop!
    The problem is that Yost coddles these Royals players way too much.

  2. Merle Tagladucci says:

    You called Jonathan Sanchez an “ace”

  3. kctiger says:

    all star game
    The reason that there are more fans is because many people bought season tickets to get the all star game strips. They would not be attending if they didnt already purchase the tickets. I guarantee if they dont get pitching help in the offseason then fans will drop off

  4. Orphan of the Road says:

    Hello Suckers!
    In 1972, with the Phillies, Steve Carlton was 27-10; the team was 32-87 when the southpaw wasn’t involved in the decision. They had pretty much stunk since the Whiz Kids of 1950.

    Kansas City has been a baseball town since before our fathers were a gleam in their fathers’ eye.

    With the advent of cable tv, it is no longer the “home team” kids grow up watching. We had one game a week from NBC ( I swear everyone was Yankees-Red Soxs).

    MLB moved the World Series to all night games. Most too late for the young fans to stay up and watch. Add in that baseball players and owners are the most contemptuous abusers of fans of all professional sports.

    My sons come to town from Philadelphia and they want to go to see the Royals. They remember when they were little going to a game and I’ll go with them. But that is it.

    Those 72 Phillies? Ruly Carpenter took over the team from his father and in four-years they were competing for the division. Of course over time the team got cheap, said they were a small market team like the Royals (yeah, they really did. Despite averaging over 2 million in attendance during some really bad years).

    Call me when they get a new owner. But who in this town would put up the money to take this cash cow away from Glass.

  5. paulwilsonkc says:

    Here’s the analysis from a sports agnostic!
    I

  6. Orphan of the Road says:

    Paul
    Good analogy. I saw many a $5 million dollar house in Bryn Mawr sold, only to be knocked down to build a McMansion. These were homes which were originally built by robber barons.

    One flaw, MLB isn’t like the NFL. If the Royals went up for sale, there might not be a buyer. Or if there was a buyer he would be from out of town and looking to move the team. That is where you analogy breaks down. You can’t move that beautiful home from Gladstone Blvd to Misson Hills.

    Hershey may be one of the biggest success stories in American business. For eons they did not advertise. Why should we, they asked? We sell all we can make. They placed 114 newspaper ads in July of 1970. Mainly because sales had been dropping, perhaps because people became more aware of good nutrition. When M&M passed on product placement in E.T., Hershey offered to advertise the movie on their packaging. They tripled sales almost overnight.

    Changing owners might be good for the team but it would probably be a death blow to having MLB in KC.

    KC was one of the original cities having a professional team. They left, then they got another one and they left.

    History may not repeat but often it rhymes.

  7. paulwilsonkc says:

    Orphan, my point was….. keep it or move it…
    its value climbs daily at an astronomical level. We may NOT be the benefactor of a sale, but Mr. Glass’ picture remains the same. Win or lose, fix it or leave it alone, remodel or not. I know its not a “fixed asset”, using the term inapprorpriately and you are correct, it could pick up and move to Boise in a heartbeat, but the numbers remain the same. Teams have gone from $1million to $1 BILLION.

  8. smartman says:

    Realtor or Faketor?
    Move ’em out! We’ll all be better off for it. Better yet contract the team with the stipulation that MLB will give us a minimum of 60 games, away and away, for a variety of AL and NL teams. Imagine the Yanks and Sox, or Cubbies and Cards playing at the K. That type of opportunity might just be what saves baseball, basketball and hockey in small markets like ours.

  9. the dude says:

    Walmart baseball,
    Walmart team, walmart results.

  10. PB says:

    Paul
    While you’re right about the appreciating value of the Royals and sports franchises in general, I believe (and I could be wrong on this since it’s been a bunch of years now) that there was a provision included in Glass’ purchase of the team that he could not resell it for a personal profit and that after getting his stake back thru any sale, any other profits were to be earmarked for the charitable Kaufmann Foundation. His agreement to that principle and his exceeding the asking price ($75 million) at the time was one of the primary reasons that he got the team over guys like Lamar Hunt (who was trying to grab it on the cheap for the ridiculously lowball offer of $35 million) and the George Brett-led group that was dealing at a decided disadvantage to Glass’ insider connections.

    If it were purely about making a profit from the sale of the team, he could have done that long ago as I believe he only payed $90 million at the time. I think part of the reason that he’s held onto the team for so long is so he can squeeze some profits thru the operation of the franchise (stadium renovations, AS Game, catching lightning w/ the young players, luxury taxes for MLB, etc.).

    And Craig, we might be suckers, but some of us love major league baseball enough that we don’t mind and actually enjoy going out to one of the best ballparks in America and watching the greatest game ever invented. Not much different than some of the suckers who frequent your place even when booking a hack comedian or going to the movies to see retread shit like MiB3. The great thing about America is that people can spend their money the way they want to. The Glass family isn’t putting anything in the drinking water, if fans didn’t think they were getting any value in going out there, they wouldn’t…end of story.

  11. paulwilsonkc says:

    PB, thats why I added the disclaimer….
    “I dont know what his sell restrictions are…..”. Thanks for adding that.
    Which brings up a follow up point. If you bought it and youre never going to get MORE than your purchase price, what IS the motivation to run a successful team, from his point of view? He’s clearly not what you would think of as a baseball lover….

  12. Orphan of the Road says:

    As William Claude Dunkenfield said
    There are three rules to operate your business.

    #1 You can’t cheat an honest man

    #2 Never give a sucker an even break

    #3 Never wise up a chump

    I remember back in my racing days you could claim a winner’s motorcycle for a certain fee. Usually the factories cross claimed so the little guy didn’t have a chance. But one guy claimed a Yamaha MXer for the $2000 fee. He thought he’d be able to resell it to the factory since they had about $30,000 into the bike. Yamaha smiled and said no.

    So the guy had a $30,000 race bike which had hand-made components making it extremely hard to repair.

    Look at the Montreal Expos for a more likely scenario for the Royals. Glass won’t go to the poor house but he won’t get much of a bump from the sale.

  13. paulwilsonkc says:

    Orphan, I want to build a Cafe Racer….
    and not just to hang out with the geeezers at Latte Land in my own illegal parking spot. Help a brother out! Spent too much time looking at Royal Enfields today.

  14. PB says:

    Yeah, Don’t Get Me Wrong
    I’m not defending the Glass family ownership in any way, I just take some offense to the “suckers” comment. While a winning team would be great, I will still attend games at Royals Stadium/ The K whether owned by the Kaufmanns, Glass or Tony Soprano. Why should I punish myself with some self-imposed boycott of the Royals/Mr.Glass just so some front-running, casual, pink hat wearing baseball fans can feel better about spending their money out there? Just like with any other business in America, supply & demand should rule. If somebody doesn’t like a product, they shouldn’t purchase it, just don’t bitch about those that do. Fans that continue to patronize the Royals or the Chiefs, shouldn’t have to owe the rest of Kansas Citians any apologies.

  15. the dude says:

    I see
    Norton Commandos come up every now and then on CL, just keep your eyss peeled, that or a Royal would be the bikes to cafe chop.

  16. smartman says:

    Glass is Overflowing
    The time period has expired in which David Glass would have to give any profits from selling the Royals to the Kaufman Foundation. He’s an arrogant, greedy bastard with a dumb ass pot smoking kid that wouldn’t piss on any of us if we were on fire. Love of baseball or not, contributing to this man’s wealth in any manner is criminal. He makes Ben Gazzara’s character from Roadhouse, Brad Wesley, as likeable as Johnny Carson. Who’s gonna be our Dalton, Patrick Swayze, and clean up this mess?

  17. smartman says:

    @ Wilson
    Forget the Cafe Racer. Get a new Ducati Multistrada Touring Edition. Plans with the Nordic Tug moving along quite well, although I have been tempted by the same dealer with a fractional ownership in a new 42′ Grand Banks based in Destin, FL.

  18. Orphan of the Road says:

    smartman
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_165187&v=ly4m-o9wUIg&feature=iv&src_vid=PuTM5s7tkFY

    When you hunger for a cafe racer, a tourer ain’t gonna cut it. A cafe racer is a street bike chopped to near race track-ready. Maybe a 900SS or 600 Pantah would sooth the itch.

    Maybe a new EBR.

  19. paulwilsonkc says:

    Dude, I like the Royal a LOT, plus… it gets my points with
    BEENO to buy a bike from the homeland!!

    Smartman, I dont know that I could speak to you if you end up with a GB in Destin. P’cola is where we want to end up!

    Orphan, my last two were a GoldWing, for when you wont to take a really long trip but not feel like you ever left the couch, and a Fatboy. I heard all these guys talking about their “iron butt” rides… heck, I went straight through to Pensacola no problem!!

  20. Orphan of the Road says:

    Iron Butt
    1000-miles in 24-hours or less. We once rode to OKC for a race and it rained the whole way. Races cancelled so we came back home in the same storm. Rusty butts.

    Goldwing!!!!! That’s not even a motorcycle. At least that is what Wingers maintain.

    Knew a guy in the 60s who took his 50cc Suzuki from KC to Florida and all around the South on a trip. That is a hard core biker.

  21. paulwilsonkc says:

    1074 miles to P’cola
    And a Goldwing IS a motorcycle if you dont mind being confused with a fat retired dude, who usually has an even fatter chic on the back. Both attired in vests with about 50 patches and pins on each and the colors of their local WingClub!!

    Me, on the other hand, shorts, a polo and flip flops, stereo blaring, sitting up in the back seat with my legs stretched down the tank taking it easy!! Just like in your recliner at 80mph!!

    PS- Craigs writes a good story and we turn it into Biker Talk. Im ashamed of us!!

  22. chuck says:

    I rode my Norton 750 Commando, with
    struts and the forks extended across country.

    Ouch.

    That was 1973. Ya vibrate all day. Had a Triumph triple lunger and some Harleys too.

    Cross country rides are for the young!

  23. Orphan of the Road says:

    A couch with wheels
    Goldwing riders took great measures to disassociate themselves from the rest of the motorcycle community. They were just so much better. Hmm, where have I heard that line?

    Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don

  24. Orphan of the Road says:

    chuck
    I’d love to have that Trident now. My buddy had a BSA Rocket III which he stripped down and put on a Hornet gas tank, solo-seat-and-pillion pad and a set of hand-made pipes. Man, did it sound sweet. We got stopped one night and one guy got a ticket for loud pipes. He was PO’d ’cause the Rocket III had no mufflers, just straight pipes. He had legit mufflers (well, legit for 72).

    I rode an old Harley with a springer-front end, tank-shift and no front brake home for a buddy when he bought it. That was all the rigid frame I ever wanted .

    I think about Cannonball Baker making those record-breaking cross-country runs on 30s era bikes and am amazed.

  25. smartman says:

    The Siren Song
    Moat fun was riding through parking garages with straight pipes and revving the engine to set off the car alarms.

  26. chuck says:

    @Orphan
    Springer front end. Cool.

    I sold a Night Ranger 3 years ago. I was just getting too old to drive it.

    Had many years of fun “In The Wind”.

    🙂

  27. RJ says:

    Kyle Davies
    “More good news – we also have Kyle Davies as one of the top five worst in baseball history. Nice. Yep, we sure can say our farm system is coming up aces, huh?”

    We actually don’t have Davies anymore. The Royals released him in August of last year.

    And while our farm system certainly deserves it’s share of criticism for developing pitchers, it’s hard to blame them for Davies since he was not a product of our farm system. He came up through the Braves organization and had started 45 games for Atlanta over three season before being traded to the Royals.

  28. Jerome says:

    Glazer last night
    I thought u were the best sucker

  29. Merle Tagladucci says:

    When they start winning, IF they ever do, Glazer will be sucking the big blue Royal dick and trying to write columns acting like he knows baseball. Him talking about baseball is like sitting in a barbershop listening to three old men yammer on.

  30. Orphan of the Road says:

    Merle
    Everybody is an expert. I’m just glad he didn’t have kids and show up at games.

    I pay too much attention to sports. NCAA Lacrosse finals are coming up. And the Amish are playing a little rounders now too.

  31. Kerouac says:

    Royals or Athletics?
    David Glass or Charlie Finley? Spinach or liver?

  32. mermaid says:

    Are you kidding me…
    I never really watch the game except for a few plays- I like to people watch and drink and just sit back in some good summer weather and that’s really what baseball is- some people like the hotdogs too- they have veggie dogs now- anyone tied those? Let me know how they are.

  33. glenn says:

    It’s a lie
    The attendance at last night’s game against the Red Sox was pathetic. We sat in the dugout plaza and enitire rows were empty, so you can imagine what the upper decks were like. Announcer claimed 18,000 fans. NO WAY. More like 10-11 thousand, TOPS!

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